Today, my big brother in New York suddenly asked me if I would like to start over as a stranger with someone I like. He said that the hurt in the past was very deep anyway. When strangers start over, those hurts will no longer happen.
I asked her if she was chatting with someone?
He said it was
I asked him how someone answered?
He said he didn't answer.
In fact, I knew he wouldn't answer, but I still had a hope in my heart.
Someone is like an electronic pet. His time is not only for work but also for his family. I know that he is avoiding me. In the past, I always put myself in someone else’s shoes to forgive and convince myself to be considerate.
Last week, I had a former friend. Why do I say it was once? You will see my chat records with him later.
He said that this Wednesday he made an appointment with an expert team to go to someone's city to collect information and be received by someone. I was very happy because I felt that I could finally meet someone. On Monday, I sent a relatively ambiguous message to someone. I thought that although he didn't express it, he must have missed me.
But I saw that his reply to me was "fuck off". At that moment, I felt heartbroken. I originally had a neurological gastrointestinal reaction, crying and vomiting at the same time. I have never been so embarrassed.
So I deleted him for the first time.
I am a person who is very good at forgiving. When it comes to lovers and friends, I rarely care about who pays more and who pays less. I think I still want to see him. So I called my former friend, why do I say it was a former friend? I will post the chat history between me and him at the end of the article. You can check it out
. I asked him if he could talk to someone, and he said he must talk to me. go? Because someone didn't want me to go.
I thought he would agree because he is my friend and his mother came to my city last month. He asked me, a roadie, to drive her to another city two hours away from my city. During that time, I was severely anemic, malnourished, and suffering from heart failure. I would get heart palpitations and tired after walking a few steps, and I would often feel dizzy.
But I have always been good to my friends, so I forced myself to drive his mother there.
I thought he would remember this and agree to what I thought was a small effort, but he refused. It's funny, isn't it? !
Later, I called him many times and sent many messages, but he didn't answer or reply. I told him clearly that I just wanted to meet someone, and I hoped that as a friend, he would give me a step so that I could meet someone...
I never knew that someone as proud as me would one day be able to meet someone because of someone... I am so humble
I am like this, my former friends still remain silent and refuse
Although my reaction is relatively slow, but occasionally I will get enlightened, I suddenly realized that someone told him, he is such a smart person, How could I not have thought that I would turn to this former friend
. On a hot summer evening, I suddenly felt bitingly cold. I swallowed two pills of metoclopramide I sat on the bed and shed tears all night
I used to think that someone just rejected me because of my status. I thought that he actually loved me, and I always felt that way. But even if he loves me, what he wants to give me and what he wants to give me is very little or nothing. I always thought that love was a very simple thing, but it turns out that love is very complicated.
It turns out that loving someone is not easy.
I also felt that I was abandoned by my friends and the people I loved. They were like throwing away a broken rag doll. No one considers or cares about how I feel. No one is worried about whether I am in pain? Is it a betrayal and hurt?
Today, my brother asked me if I could start over with someone like strangers?
I don't want him to know these things. So I burst into tears but told him calmly that someone is an electronic pet . I don’t want to keep an electronic pet
but I know that I can’t start over.
Every time someone feels that I am angry, I don’t want to lose this fool like me. Yeah, I'll flirt a bit. In fact, I know everything, but I don’t want to care about it. I was full of hope again and again, thinking that he would give me a little bit, but the cycle continued again and again, and every time he gave me hurt.
I didn't want to continue this cycle.I also know that I am easily soft-hearted. As long as he shows his kindness, I will happily run towards him.
So I will go to Beijing for a blind date in July. I will return to the United States after normal flights between China and the United States.
I don’t want to see someone again for the rest of my life.
