As for the matter of "dislike", it is actually not easy to define. Because your parents always dislike you, but you can't say that your parents don't love you. There are many people who don't know how to express themselves, and there are also many people who are arrogant.
So, do those who dislike you still love you?
What is Dislike
"Dislike" and "joke" are actually very similar, and the two are often confused.
Many people like to poke at other people's sore spots. If you are angry, he will say: "I was just kidding, why are you so stingy?" "I thought you were joking"... If you care about it at this time, it will look like you are Stingy.
And if you act indifferent, the other party will not think you are generous, but will think you are easy to bully, and then they will continue to test your bottom line.
What is a joke? It is a joke if both parties find it funny. What is dislike? Dislike means that you feel that the other person dislikes you and his behavior has hurt you, that is. It needs to be stopped in time.
The standards of jokes and disgust are often not defined by the person who speaks out, but are subjectively judged by the parties who are joked or disliked.
Some people may say: I really didn’t mean that, it’s because the other party is too sensitive. If you have clearly expressed your dissatisfaction and still act unscrupulously, then this is disrespectful.
A relationship that does not respect each other will either break out in silence in the end, or endure it all the time, whether it is love or friendship.
Of course, many people think that the other person's bad comments about her are for her own good.
Someone only finds fault with you and uses it to belittle and suppress you. Is this love? No, this is control, PUA.
Don't think that others say something bad about you to make you better. In fact, the other person is just using your bad qualities to set off his good qualities. The truth is, he's not that good, and you're not that bad either.
Being with someone who always despises yourself will only make you become a person who even despises yourself.
Don't despise the people who have always been with you, don't despise the people who have always despised you.
As the saying goes: Don't despise the people who have always been with you, don't despise the people who have always despised you. But the reality is often the opposite. You despise the person who has always been with you, and you stay with the person who always despises you.
Aunt Wang and her husband Lao Zhang have been married for more than ten years. Both of them came from small places. Aunt Wang's family is really poor. Lao Zhang can't be called poor, but he can't be called rich either.
When she was young, Aunt Wang could be considered as beautiful as a flower, and although Lao Zhang was not good-looking, she could be said to have a successful career at that time and was the manager of the factory. They met, got to know each other, fell in love while working in a small factory, and finally got married.
Lao Zhang was nice to Aunt Wang and handed over all the money he earned, but he was too honest and unmotivated. He thought it would be good to work in this factory for the rest of his life. But Aunt Wang is different. She doesn't want to stay and work in this small place all her life.
Later, when the factory closed down and she could no longer work, Aunt Wang found another way out and became a waitress in a big hotel. If you are in this business, you will inevitably come into contact with some superficially glamorous people.
As time went by, these people started to compare with Lao Zhang, and Aunt Wang became more and more disgusted with Lao Zhang.
Before she was married, Aunt Wang was afraid that Lao Zhang would dislike her because of her family conditions. But now with the increase in salary, she feels more and more that she has married the wrong person.
She despises Lao Zhang for not being able to make money, despises Lao Zhang for not knowing how to discipline himself, and despises Lao Zhang for not being able to buy her beautiful clothes and jewelry.
She became more and more resentful. When she saw Lao Zhang, she said: "Look at other people's husbands. Which ones are not successful in career, have cars and houses? Look at you again." I have been in bad luck for eight lifetimes. "...
Lao Zhang has a good temper and knows that Aunt Wang has been wronged by being with him all these years, so he just lets her beat and scold him. But who would have thought that Aunt Wang met a businessman at work, and after a few days of romance with him, she came back and divorced Lao Zhang noisily, and even gave up the child.
In the end, Aunt Wang fulfilled her wish and married the other party. But she didn't expect that the businessman, who looked good on the surface, was deeply in debt.
In life, many people are like this. After being together for a long time, they dislike everything about the other person. They dislike the other person for not making money, dislike the other person for being clumsy, and dislike the other person for not being motivated...
You can ask yourself, wasn't the other person like this before marriage? ? If so, why didn't you dislike it before you got married, but why did you start to dislike it after many years of marriage?
You can't start to dislike the people who have been with you just because your life has become better. It’s not about cherishing something when you don’t have the confidence; despising it when you have the confidence.
But after life gets better, you should cherish the people who have always been with you, because this is something you can only meet.
Don't lose yourself because of being disliked.
Many people say: The truth of marriage is to dislike each other while continuing to make do with each other.
thinks so. When most people talk about their husbands/wives, they are full of disdain, saying this is bad and that is bad. Maybe many people will be curious: Why do we continue to be together when we both dislike each other so much and can't live with each other anymore.
Marriage is a process of seeking common ground while reserving differences. No matter who you marry, there will definitely be friction to some extent when you are together. The reason why everyone dislikes and makes do with each other for the rest of their lives is because the price of leaving is too high, and also because after many years of getting along, they can't live without each other.
What's more, many people are not together because of love. Some are together because of their age, some because of money, some because of their parents...
The lack of love between husband and wife also lacks a lot of willing tolerance. So don’t take the phrase “people who truly love you will tolerate your shortcomings” as the only indicator. We all need to be realistic.
Don’t couples in life dislike each other every day, but they miss each other a little after not seeing each other for a long time? As people say: "Even the happiest marriage will have 100 thoughts of divorce and 50 thoughts of strangling each other to death in a lifetime."
In marriage, there can be occasional accusations and occasional dislike, but relatively Also cherish it. You know, it is easy to find fault with the other person, but it is difficult to tolerate the other person's fault.
The important thing is that one party knows when enough is enough, and the other party knows how to tolerate and accommodate. And more importantly, don't lose yourself because of being rejected.
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