From social harmony to personal happiness and career prosperity, everything depends on the foundation of a harmonious family. A good family is built by the joint efforts of its members, making it a warm haven in the world and wiping away the tired world.

Author: Insight muye

There is no right or wrong in family affairs, only harmony and discord.

As the saying goes, everything thrives when the family is in harmony.

From social harmony to personal happiness and career prosperity, they all depend on the foundation of a harmonious family.

A good family is built by the joint efforts of its members, making it a warm haven in the world and wiping away the tired world.

Mr. Yang Jiang once said: "Most of the tragedies of Chinese families stem from the blame-loving relationship style."

So, the way in which problems are handled determines the happiness of a family. There is such a plot in the variety show " Hello Life ".

Kanghui was punished for losing the game by calling his wife and said "I love you" to her without her knowledge.

Under everyone's hesitation, Kang Hui dialed his wife's phone number.

After making the call, Kang Hui emphasized that he would tell his wife what was going on later and discuss with her whether this segment could be broadcast.

Nigmaiti said sarcastically: "Her opinion is no longer important."

Kang Hui said firmly: "No, her opinion is important."

One move or one sentence made people feel that Kang Hui was interested in Wife's respect and love.

There is a kind of contradiction in the family, which is that they like to make decisions.

Zhihu blogger @Huxiao mentioned that the reason for her divorce was because her ex-husband liked to make his own decisions in everything and never discussed it with her.

In 2016, when he went out with his boss, he was moved when he heard that investing in industry was a business that was sure to make money without losing money.

Then he sold the car privately, took the savings, borrowed money from friends, and used 500,000 to speculate in the stock market. As a result, he encountered a stock market crash and lost all his money.

The blogger had no idea about all this. When she learned about it, she asked: "Have you discussed with me that I am not your wife anymore?"

Unexpectedly, her ex-husband made strong remarks and said that after he wanted to make money, he would give it to her. It was such a surprise that the blogger was so angry that he got into a big fight with him.

The couple had a complete falling out. The originally loving couple eventually separated.

A truly good family relationship is never one party’s arbitrary decision, but one where everything is discussed and discussed.

After Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu got married, they rarely quarreled. When asked about the reason, Yang Jiang said this:

"We did not disagree with each other, but no matter what we encountered, we discussed it together and took action. The decision-making does not depend entirely on him, nor does it depend entirely on me. "

One star cannot fill the sky, one stone cannot build a mountain, and one person cannot make a harmonious home.

When family members encounter problems, they should discuss them.

One person’s opinion is never as good as two people’s discussion.

02

Anger, treat it coldly

Zweig wrote this passage in "The Beheaded Queen":

"Quietness is a very powerful atmosphere. Just like a bottle filled with liquid, after shaking, once it is placed in the There will be sediment on the table.

The same is true for people. Calm thinking after turmoil can highlight the hidden parts of human nature. "When conflicts occur between family members, both parties are like a volcano. One unpalatable word can easily explode again.

After two people quarrel, they should learn to deal with it calmly and give each other some buffering time.

Psychological counselor Zhang Ping once traveled and rented a bed and breakfast.

The landlords are an old couple who have been married for decades. The grandfather is 75 years old and the grandmother is 73 years old.

Grandpa loves grandma very much. As long as grandma leaves his sight, he will search all over the house for her.

Although the old lady always complained that grandpa liked to talk back to her, the eyes she looked at grandpa were full of smiles.

Out of curiosity, Zhang Ping asked them, what is the reason why their relationship has been so good after so many years of marriage?

The old man took the old woman's hand and said:

"When you encounter something, you have to endure it no matter how angry you are. Don't get angry in a hurry. If necessary, give each other some time and let both of you calm down. Wait until the emotion has passed before dealing with it. . ”

When people are angry, it is easy to lose control of their emotions, speak unscrupulously, and say things that are more harmful to the other party, escalating the conflict again and making the situation worse.

When you encounter something angry or annoying, don't rush to find a solution. You might as well put the problem aside to dry out, and reserve an emotional buffer time for yourself and the other party.

Wait until both parties are emotionally stable and their anger is almost gone before communicating.

03

Get rid of the problem and don’t get involved.

There is a term in psychology called "alienated communication method" , which means that when encountering a problem, instead of trying to solve it, you just blame the other person.

A family lives together, and stumbling upon each other is inevitable. The first reaction to trouble determines the temperature of the family.

A happy family is not one without conflicts, but one with the wisdom not to get entangled.

has seen such a piece of news.

A fire suddenly broke out in the home of a resident in a community in Guiyang. After the firefighters controlled the fire, the home was in a mess and almost all valuable items were damaged.

What caused the fire was the hair dryer that the hostess accidentally threw on the bed.

In the morning, the child wet the sheets. The head of the household, Ms. Meng, used a hair dryer to blow the sheets. Halfway through, the child started crying.

So, Ms. Meng threw the hair dryer on the bed to take care of the child, but the hair dryer suddenly exploded, causing a tragedy.

When this kind of thing happens in most families, the husband will definitely blame his wife:

"Why don't you turn off the hair dryer first and then go see the children?"

"Why don't you have any common sense? It's all your fault. What else can you do? ?”

However, when Ms. Meng’s husband saw his wife feeling sad and blaming herself, he said gently:

“It’s just a house. Let’s renovate it and treat it as a new home.”

A soft comfort. How precious it is to a wife who blames herself and feels guilty.

When family members get along with each other, don’t get entangled when things happen, and be more tolerant and understanding, only then can major problems be reduced to minor ones.

Life is not a tightrope walk, and it cannot afford a mistake.

My family is not a competitor, they want to have the upper hand in everything.

We must always remember that in a family, tolerance is more important than right and wrong, and understanding is more important than harshness.

Never point your finger at others and be unreasonable.

04

Difficult things happen together

In " reader ", the story of Ding Yizhou and Lai Min sharing weal and woe has moved countless audiences.

Lai Min was unfortunately diagnosed with a terminal illness and may pass away at any time.

Ding Yizhou did not escape, but bravely stayed by her side.

Lai Min told Ding Yizhou that he did not want to lie in the hospital bed waiting to die, but wanted to go out and see the outside world.

Ding Yizhou took Lai Min and a dog and set off on a tricycle.

They designed a heart-shaped route together, starting from Liuzhou, Guangxi, passing through Dali, Tibet, Dunhuang, and then returning to the starting point via Beijing and Hebei, exactly drawing a heart shape on the map.

Once all the money was spent during the trip, Ding Yizhou stayed there for a few days and worked odd jobs to save some money before continuing.

At the show, Ding Yizhou said: "I only spent one-tenth or one-twentieth of my life to accompany her, but she spent the rest of her life to accompany me. Her love cannot be let down."

Now , they opened an inn in Litang and welcomed a lovely baby.

Yang Lan said: "There should be sincere loyalty, a tacit understanding of never leaving, and unforgettable kindness between husband and wife."

Things are unpredictable, and a family living together will inevitably encounter ups and downs. If you avoid and complain, it will only make the family unhappy. Fall apart.

In difficult times, as a family, there is no obstacle that cannot be overcome if we work together as one.

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As the saying goes, there is no right or wrong in family affairs, only harmony and discord.

The best Feng Shui for a family is not that everything goes smoothly, but that no matter what happens, there is a wise and warm way of handling it.

Like . For the rest of your life, give your best temper and your greatest patience to the people you love the most.