Preface:
Everyone is a microcosm of the times, a grain of sand in the ups and downs of the times, but they also have their own unique light. They are ordinary, they are in a hurry, they are tired of life, they are noisy, they work hard to live, and they deserve to leave a deep or shallow mark of their own in the changes of the times. This is why I started writing scraps Random thoughts, writing about the people around me, relatives, friends, colleagues, and even you who I have met once or have never met.
After my mother-in-law stopped visiting our daughter, we rarely went back. During the summer vacation, I took my children to travel to other places. During the Spring Festival, I sometimes went back and sometimes I didn’t. My mother-in-law and father-in-law were still young and in good health at that time. They didn’t need much care from us and rarely used our money. Every year during the Spring Festival, they would give my father-in-law a sum of money, but my father-in-law would always give my daughter some money. Little new year's money.
I gradually understood at that time that my mother-in-law’s life is my mother-in-law’s life, and my life is my life. We cannot live together like my grandparents and my parents, or in other words, We spent time together. They can no longer care about each other, and the family affection has become increasingly indifferent. There will no longer be the joy of living together as a big family in the previous generation. There is nothing wrong with each living his own life.
The days are flowing forward slowly like water. My daughter has graduated from kindergarten and it is time to go to elementary school. That year, due to physical reasons and conflicts with my boss, I went to the south to join my cousin. My daughter goes to elementary school and has to be picked up and dropped off at noon. My husband will definitely be too busy alone. I wanted my mother-in-law to come over to pick up the children, but she refused.
There was nothing I could do. That year my mother happened to be driven back to her hometown by her sister-in-law, so she came to my house to help pick up and drop off my daughter. I came back whenever I had free time. That year, there was no high-speed rail connection between Guangzhou and Shenzhen and Zhengzhou. The train took 16 hours, and flying was expensive and expensive. So I often took the overnight train back on Friday nights and another overnight train on Sunday nights. Take the train back so that I can spend two days with my daughter. Fortunately, I was in Tianhe District, Guangzhou, which was relatively close to the train station. When
was in Guangzhou, one Monday morning, I just got off the train and rushed to the company when I received a call from my mother-in-law in my hometown. My sister-in-law is getting married, and the person she is marrying is from a mountain valley in Hunan that the whole family has been opposed to. Three brothers, three houses, and one family occupy half of the hillside. I met my sister-in-law when she was working in Wenzhou . My parents-in-law disagreed because they were too far away and too poor.
But my sister-in-law and I are evenly matched! I didn't listen to my family at all, and I kept trying for several years. As I got older, my parents-in-law agreed. I gave my mother-in-law 10,000 yuan as a gift for my sister-in-law. My husband only has one sister. When he was in junior high school, because his family was too poor, he could only send one child to school. My sister-in-law is very sensible. She doesn’t go to school and goes out to work.
During the years when he worked outside the home, he never made much money and lived a very miserable life. When my cousin's factory was very prosperous, I asked my sister-in-law to go to my cousin's factory. The monthly cost was more than 2,000 yuan higher than that in Wenzhou, but my sister-in-law said she was used to Wenzhou and didn't want to go to Shenzhen. Later I realized that my sister-in-law was in a relationship in Wenzhou and she probably couldn’t let go of her boyfriend.
I don’t know if my parents-in-law feel guilty about my little aunt, but I do. After all, my sister-in-law made sacrifices for my husband to go to school. Now that we are capable, we should help some sister-in-law to some extent. So at that time, the custom over there was that when the sister-in-law got married, it was perfectly fine for the sister-in-law to give her a gift of 500. My 10,000 yuan was an astronomical figure. Later, I bought another two to three thousand yuan worth of gifts and sent them back to my sister-in-law.
When I got married, my sister-in-law didn't get a penny gift. I was a little disappointed. I don’t want my sister-in-law to be disappointed, and I hope I can be a good sister-in-law. My sister-in-law didn't hold any ceremony at her husband's house, she only held a ceremony here. After getting married, the two went to Wenzhou to work again, and soon became pregnant. My sister-in-law came back alone and went back to my mother-in-law's house to raise and give birth to the child.
When we went back to celebrate the Spring Festival that year, my sister-in-law was also there, and we celebrated the New Year together.People in the village were talking a lot about how a girl who had left home could spend the New Year at her parents' house. He also said that my sister-in-law was too talkative and asked me to send a message to drive my sister-in-law back to her husband's house. Ever since I got married, my parents have been determined not to let me go back to my parents’ home to celebrate the New Year. I know how uncomfortable it feels to be treated as an outsider by my own parents. I don't want my sister-in-law to feel this kind of pain again.
How old are you, you still have to abide by such ancient and unreasonable customs! How could I possibly chase my sister-in-law away?
A few days after the New Year, we have to leave. My mother-in-law asked her neighbor across the door, my distant aunt from my natal family, to come and discuss something with me. My aunt rambled a lot before speaking hesitantly. She said that my mother-in-law wanted my sister-in-law to live here forever, and the family house and mansion would belong to my sister-in-law. Since we were working away from home, we would not come back to live there again. My mother-in-law said that my sister-in-law's family was too poor and too far away, so she didn't want her to live there, and she didn't want to go either.
The rule in our hometown in the countryside is that everything in the house, no matter how big or small, valuable or not, belongs to the son. It has nothing to do with the daughter. The daughter is just a piece of water thrown out, a member of the family. My mother told me personally that my elder brother and younger brother had both passed the exam and would not return to their hometown. The two houses in our family will belong to my cousin a hundred years from now, even if I am farming in the countryside, the house will not be mine. It's the nephew's turn, and it won't be the daughter's turn. This is a matter of convention.
My mother-in-law did not ask my husband to tell me, nor did she tell me directly. Instead, she asked my distant aunt to ask me what I wanted to say. In fact, it was because she understood that this request was against the rules and she did not expect me. Will agree. But in my opinion, why shouldn't the family sit down and talk about it directly? Four tile-roofed houses, two bungalows, and a small yard are not a huge family property. If my own sister-in-law needs it, what can I refuse?
Isn’t it better to have someone at home? Father-in-law and mother-in-law, after a hundred years, we will come back, heat the pot and stove, shout, and someone will agree. It is much better than "the fragrant grass in the ruins, the fallen leaves in the empty corridor, and the deep green moss". I remembered that when I was in junior high school, I invited my good friends to my house during the winter vacation. Pushing open the courtyard door, the dry grass is taller than a person. When I opened the door of the hall, there were spider webs everywhere. When I pushed open the stove door, the remaining water in the pot froze.
My parents are doing small business in other places and have not come back yet. My brother and younger brother are studying at my aunt's house in the city and have not come back yet. I stood in the yard and cried. My good friend was at a loss and kept trying to persuade me to stop crying. That scene, after all these years, I will never forget. No matter when or where, I don't want it to happen again.
My mother-in-law never expected that I would agree so readily. But my father-in-law refused to agree. My father-in-law said, I have a son, so what does it mean to live here? Cutting in the door again? I have a son, and I don’t need a daughter to knock on the door. Later, I persuaded my father-in-law for a long time before he agreed. I also promised my father-in-law that when the house needs to be rebuilt in the future, we are willing to take part of the money. Just leave us a room, enough for us to live in when we come back.
After this incident, I called my mother and told her about the situation. My mother said, how many brothers there are in the countryside, because the house was beaten to pieces because of the land. You will never come back, so there is no need to fight over this. It's good for my sister-in-law to live here. When the old man gets old, someone will take care of him. You can just send more money back.
Even if this matter is settled, who knows later, my mother-in-law will say that the house will not be given to my sister-in-law, and it will always be regarded as our family property.
During the summer vacation, I thought I had free time and could update my thoughts every day. Who knows I thought too much. We have two children, my husband leaves early and comes home late, and my mother-in-law returns to her hometown. This is even busier than going to work!
Don’t look for excuses, try to update every day!
