When falling in love, many girls think that as long as two people love each other, they can get married. As for the situation in his family, it doesn't matter, as long as two people love each other. But in fact, getting married is not that simple. The girl is marrying not only the young man himself, but also his family.
So what your husband’s family is like has a direct relationship with you, and this relationship is unbreakable. If you only examine the young man himself and ignore his family situation, it may lay hidden dangers for the marriage.
Many girls nowadays have avant-garde ideas and have been studying in school. They don’t understand the old rules of marriage at all. But if the husband's family you meet is full of old ideas, then the old and new ideas will collide, and conflicts will easily arise.
The girl thought that I didn’t need to rely on my husband’s family and could just live with her husband’s family separately, but in fact it’s not that easy. A girl can decide her own affairs, but she cannot influence her husband. There is a blood relationship between the husband and his parents-in-law, so he will always be influenced by his parents-in-law.
Mother-in-law shows off that her son got a wife without spending any gift money
Xu Bing has left home since she was in high school and has been living in school. After graduating from college, she worked in a foreign-funded enterprise and lived in a dormitory. When Xu Bing was a freshman in college, her mother fell ill and passed away, so she didn't know the old rules about marriage.
At work, she met her boyfriend. His family came from a rural area. Speaking of which, he could be considered a Phoenix man. Xu Bing and her boyfriend fell in love at first sight. The two of them had a special affinity and immediately felt that the other person was the one they were waiting for.
After the two fell in love for nearly a year, they took each other home to meet their parents. Xu Bing's family was financially well off, but after his mother passed away, his father remarried and gave birth to another son. So his father no longer cares about Xu Bing's affairs. Xu Bing is like a guest when he comes home and cannot fit into that home at all.
Although her boyfriend's house is in a rural area, her parents-in-law care about their son very much, so Xu Bing felt good after arriving at her boyfriend's house. Later, when the parents of both parties sat together to discuss the marriage, Xu Bing's stepmother did not speak at all. She felt that it was none of her business and she was just attending.
My father has been busy with work and does not understand the various etiquette of marriage, and he is too lazy to care about Xu Bing's affairs. So his father said that the man would make the decision on the marriage, and he had no objection as long as Xu Bing was willing.
After hearing these words from the father-in-law, the mother-in-law started working on Xu Bing. She said that her family's financial situation was not good, so she stopped giving Xu Bing money for betrothal gifts. At that time, Xu Bing was completely indifferent. She didn't care about the old rules, so her mother-in-law said she wouldn't give the gift money, so just don't give it!
Because her boyfriend's family had no money to buy a wedding house in the city, his father gave Xu Bing a two-bedroom apartment as a dowry. This was considered as a father who was doing his best for his daughter. When her boyfriend and parents-in-law learned that Xu Bing was going to marry him into a house, they were very happy, especially the mother-in-law, who couldn't even close her mouth with laughter.
After getting married, Xu Bing wanted to live as a couple, but her parents-in-law moved in with them, saying that they also wanted to live in the city. After her mother-in-law moved in, she acted like the master. She had the final say in all matters in the house, which made Xu Bing very unhappy.
My mother-in-law always likes to show off to others, saying that her son is very capable and got a wife without spending any money as a bride price. The wife even got a house as a dowry. When Xu Bing first heard this, she thought her mother-in-law was proud to have married this daughter-in-law, but later that was not the case at all. Her mother-in-law was proud of her son.
There are often frictions between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law because of all kinds of trivial matters. Every time she has a quarrel, her husband always takes her side, which makes Xu Bing very sad. Her husband was very good to her before marriage, but now that her parents-in-law have come, he seems to be a different person.
A year later, because my mother-in-law's mother was sick, she wanted to go back to the countryside to take care of her, so the old couple returned to the countryside. Xu Bing breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that her parents-in-law were finally gone and she could be the master of the family.
Xu Bing had a miscarriage in the second month after her parents-in-law left. Before that, she did not find out that she was pregnant.Because there was no one to take care of Xu Bing, her husband insisted on sending her to the countryside so that her mother-in-law could take care of her.
Xu Bingyuan did not want to go to the countryside, but because her husband insisted and was worried that not having a good confinement period would affect her future pregnancy, Xu Bing agreed. After living in the countryside, her mother-in-law scolded Xu Bing almost every day, blaming her for not keeping the child. She also said that Xu Bing was stupid and didn't even know whether she was pregnant. When
was about to be born, a neighbor came to visit. The neighbor was very envious of her mother-in-law for marrying her daughter-in-law without spending any money as a bride price. The daughter-in-law also got a house with her. In the past, the mother-in-law was very proud, but this time she sighed and said: "Oh! It's cheap but not good. My daughter-in-law can't even give birth to a child."
At this time, her husband just returned to the countryside, and Xu Bing became angry. I repeated my mother-in-law's words to my husband, but I didn't expect that my husband would take her mother-in-law's side again. Xu Bing quarreled with her husband, and her mother-in-law immediately came to protect her son. Although her father-in-law didn't say anything, he obviously stood by her mother-in-law and husband.
Xu Bing suddenly felt isolated and helpless. She had no status at all in this family. Because she didn't ask for the bride price, and because she was given a house as a dowry, it was as if she had some shortcomings and was inferior to others.
After her confinement, Xu Bing filed for divorce. She felt that she had no dignity in this marriage. She originally thought that she did not rely on her parents-in-law, and it had nothing to do with her, but now she felt that her mother-in-law had always been involved in her marriage with her husband, and she could not get rid of her parents-in-law at all.
Husband and parents-in-law did not take Xu Bing's "divorce" seriously. They thought Xu Bing was scaring them. In the eyes of her mother-in-law, Xu Bing is already married and has had a miscarriage. If they get divorced, who will want her as a second-hand commodity? So Xu Bing didn't dare to divorce.
But to the surprise of her mother-in-law, Xu Bing went to court to file for divorce, and her attitude was very firm. Only then did the parents-in-law and husband realize that Xu Bing was not bluffing, but really wanted a divorce. Her husband and mother-in-law immediately begged Xu Bing not to divorce, saying it didn't matter if she had a miscarriage, and they could get it again in the future.
But Xu Bing insisted on getting a divorce. The reason why she wanted a divorce was not just because of the miscarriage, but for many reasons, the main one being the bride price. In the end, Xu Bing insisted on divorcing her husband. Her mother-in-law cried when she found out, and her husband regretted not cherishing Xu Bing properly.
In marriage, a girl must defend her dignity.
Xu Bing did it out of love for her husband and understanding that her husband's family conditions were not good, and she really didn't care, so she didn't ask for a bride price. But just because she didn't ask for any gift money, her mother-in-law actually felt that her son was capable and could marry a wife who didn't need any gift money.
After Xu Bing had a miscarriage, her mother-in-law said that "cheap goods are not good", as if Xu Bing was a cheap commodity, and her husband's family suffered a big loss by marrying her. Xu Bing's self-esteem was hurt, and she was no longer willing to endure the marriage, so she insisted on divorce.
Times have changed, and it is no longer the era of "if you marry a chicken, follow the chicken, if you marry a dog, follow the dog". If a woman is unsatisfied in her marriage, she can file for divorce at any time. There is no need to compromise over and over again. Xu Bing's ex-mother-in-law has an old feudal mentality. She believes that the raw rice has already been cooked, and Xu Bing does not dare to divorce.
But she was wrong. Xu Bing is a well-educated person who accepts modern ideas. How could he stick to the concept of perseverance? For her, marriage is for happiness. If the marriage is not happy, then of course she will get divorced.
In marriage, if a woman is not respected by her husband and in-laws, but is bullied everywhere, then the woman must defend her dignity and rights. Whether you need a bride price when you get married depends on the situation. If you don't take care of your in-laws' family and don't want a bride price from your in-laws' family, your husband's family will definitely appreciate you and value you.
A girl must marry her husband's family with good character. Not only the young man himself must be of good character, but his family members must also be of good character. Only by marrying into a husband's family with good character will the husband's family respect the girl and the girl may be happy.
Author: A creator in the emotional field, focusing on various issues in the emotional field, welcome to pay attention.Life is warm because of affection and love. Let us grow in love and spend every day in true love.
