But in real life, there will always be various "jumping" problems between husband and wife. As for the crux of the problem, even though they were thinking hard, they still couldn't find the answer. For this reason, the two of them were exhausted and exhausted for a long time.
01 Open communication and delicate expression
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The wife complained that her husband never helped. For the sake of family harmony, she could not say many times, but the grievances and tiredness in her heart could not rest anywhere.
know when her husband, innocently asked: "You did not say, I thought you liked to pack!"
husband's rebuttal, Instantly aroused the anger of his wife, she angrily reprimanded: "I used to be noisy when I said it,If it were not for the child, you thought I would bear you! "
Psychologist Zhang Yiyun pointedly pointed out: _spane block0p
p2p p0 Get deeper and deeper, isn't it more than worth the loss. "
In fact, marriage is more than 95% of the contradictions can be resolved through communication, the other 5% will need more communication.
Zhang Yijun also shared the secret of her 21-year happy marriage. Every time she wants her husband to work, she pitifully says:
"What do you think? There are so many things that I can't finish packing. ”
When I saw her acting like a baby, she showed weakness,Zhang Yijun’s husband immediately surrendered, "Okay, silly girl, I'll come on."
So, he is in a fight, and he is surging. The warmth of laughter.
Therefore, sweet communication is the lubricant of life; delicate expression is also the catalyst of emotion.
0 2 and marriage as hard to get along
know almost asked: "What is the biggest problem is the middle-aged husband and wife? "
There is a high praise and a simple but heart-warming answer: "Not enough care."Not like a couple, but like roommates to get together and live together.
The husband is busy at work, and the wife is tired of taking care of the children and has no time to take care of each other. The most frequent words are: "what to eat", "whatever", "I'm not free" ".
The famous international writer John Beman once had similar troubles. At that time, he and his wife were busy with work, running around the world, and the relationship between husband and wife became colder.
once to maintain the car, Beman suddenly realized: _p2quote _p2quote _p2quote block7span After a few years, more than ten years, or even decades, don’t you remember to take care of it?"
Thinking of this, he and his wife started a spiritual journey of "back to the beginning". Treat each other attentively as before marriage.
They date and walk together,Spend the weekend together; on holidays and anniversaries, take the initiative to give each other gifts that they like...
When you put your partner in your heart, a good marriage will begin.
Because the feelings are mutual, because of the heart, so warm heart.
Intentions do not necessarily spend a lot of money, but to let the other party feel their sincerity and care. This is the secret of keeping marriage fresh.
03 appropriate to provoke the burden on the lover's shoulders _p2span20strong if there are two people to work together to run a business, just like the two people who work together, span9span_p2span20strong Healthy operation.
In the documentary "Happiness Freeze",Ms. Wu and Mr. Wu are typical males and females. They have been married for 7 years, and they have been living well.
But after her daughter was born, she broke the original balance.
"Don't drink every day and wake up at night." "The child is too noisy to sleep well. Drink some alcohol to sleep well." "Can't sleep well? I change diapers every 3 hours every night , Feed once every 2 hours, I try my best to prevent the child from affecting you. But I did everything, just ask you to help, you just like that?" "I can’t sleep well and it affects my work. Give me some personal space." ."
Somehow sad.
Although they have a clear division of labor, everyone has lasting pain.
It seems that no one is wrong to share what the master wants to share and what outside the master wants to understand, but they cut it constantly, and it is still messed up.
Fortunately,After the quarrel, they began to face the troubles and tried to divide the labor flexibly; I help you share the housework, and you understand my hard work outside.
Just like the
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Being flexible in family responsibilities is a prerequisite for a harmonious relationship between husband and wife.
In a family, there is responsibility and transposition; there is quarrel and coordination.
04 Motivation to find fun in life
_pspan 7 ,Some people are full of interest.
Their biggest difference is not the abundance of material, but the abundance of spirit.
People with abundance of spirits are good at discovering the joys of life and can feel the exact happiness and satisfaction every day.
In " Six Chapters of a Floating Life ", yunniang can always be found as the most lovely and beautiful woman.
Walking on the road, she saw exquisitely shaped and peculiarly colored stones, so she picked them home piece by piece, put them in a rectangular basin, and used them as a unique fake mountain. The river mud planted Bai Ping and Chi Luo, the charm is not inferior to the flower garden garden of the noble family.
daily fruits and vegetables,It seems mediocre, but she makes a plum box, a box of six-color vegetables, which looks like plum blossoms when opened, and eats the rough tea and light rice with great fun.
as tree Murakami said:
"No small indeed fortunate in life, nothing but a dry desert."
What really makes life unhappy is not the life itself, but the lack of motivation to find fun.
Fun is not big or small, it is full of joy to life.
It is with these little funs that love can always be warm and hot in the heart.
05 Active self-growth"Even if you marry the richest man in the world, don't give up growing up."
Because a husband and wife are like walking up the stairs, if you don't work hard together, he will meet another person sooner or later.
However, in real life, many people have this mentality after marriage: just live like this.
So, I gave up my personal growth, and when there was a rift in my marriage, I realized that the relationship had already changed.
Writer Liu Na told the story of reader Mei’s marriage.
For her husband’s career, Mei decided to resign and go home as a full-time wife, husband and wife, and serve the elderly.
She arranged her life in an orderly manner,The family’s future plans were also properly planned, but the husband did not expect to betray.
At that time, Mei was 40 years old and had been married for 20 years.
Mei cried, made trouble, and even threatened her husband’s future, but she was taunted by her husband: "A housewife can still turn the sky upside down 9 p9sp_span9sp
There is no little emotional communication between the two.
When I met Liu Na, Mei had been "emotionally widowed" for 9 years.
Liu Na asked her: "Do you have any hobbies or dreams of your own?" 0
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Lost under the guidance of Liu Na, she struggled out of her self-shackled vicious circle and opened a private writing hobby.
Nowadays, Mei wears a long skirt with perm and curly hair. It is as bright as a proud Chinese plum, blowing in the wind.
Facts have proved that marriage seems to be the union of two people, and its essence is self-growth and self-reliance.
like Song Dandan said: "Women are the last to marry him, happy or not depend entirely on you."
People who don't stop self-growth can live a light before and after marriage.
06 necessary boundary awareness 7 p2p p2pIn an empty library, he took a book and sat directly beside the subject who was reading alone.
After thousands of tests, it was found that all the subjects had chosen to leave or change seats without exception, and even asked the psychologist what they wanted to do.
The experiment came to a conclusion that everyone has their own boundaries, even in intimate partners.
Maintaining a proper sense of boundaries between husband and wife is both a respect for each other and a compulsory course for a long marriage.
In the movie " Disappearing Lover", the heroine Amy manages to transform him into an ideal person who wants to control him. "personal idea".
After the transformation failed,Annoyed, Amy decides to "disappear" and defect to her ex-boyfriend.
Unexpectedly, his ex-boyfriend has a stronger desire to control than Amy, and he will get his own little things like watching TV and drinking milkshake .
The unbearable Amy left the former men's team and returned to Nick, but she still did not change her habits.
We don’t have the space to control each other, but Nick said distressedly:
. "
Yes, the emotions that do not understand respect and have no boundaries are destined to be an ordeal.
and a truly happy marriage,It is to maintain the distance of "a layer of yarn".
is intimate and interdependent; it can be addictive to love, but not locked.
In fact, the more quarrel between husband and wife, the deeper the relationship, the most feared is the cold period, it is not right to be cold. What do you think?
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