The man really cares, is it the "first time" for you, it's just the difference between saying and not saying

Zhuang Diexiaomeng/Looking at the essence through stories

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Foreword:

" Zhouyi" has a saying: "Women choose

chastity." The determination to end.

When you are not sure whether two people will be able to come to the end, you should treat each other with courtesy even if your heart is secret.

" Book of Rites " also has such a sentence: "Let's go along with it and stay the same for life."

begins at the wedding and ends at the grave. This should be the love that most people yearn for.

The ancients valued chastity and reputation, and that era seems to be long ago.

In this age of cohabitation as soon as they fall in love, and many years of cohabitation may not necessarily lead to marriage, many women have no idea about the word "chaste".But these two words have always existed in the heart of men .

Men and women always think differently, so there is no way for everyone to reach consensus on certain things.

Women think that society is open and people think differently. It doesn't matter whether it is the first time, as long as two people love each other.

But in the minds of men, it is really important whether a woman is the first time. In many cases, it will be a thorn in their heart that cannot be pulled out or swallowed.

Maybe they don't say it on the surface, but deep down they feel so aggrieved that they can no longer give 100% affection.

real case (authorized, to protect the privacy of the protagonist, a special pseudonym is used)

friend Akun met his current wife through a blind date at the age of 25, and they all had good looks at that time Skin, so they left a good impression on each other as soon as they met.

is not love at first sight, but it can also be called mutual attraction.

So within less than half a year of the blind date, they entered the palace of marriage.

Because they met on a blind date, they kept a proper distance until they got married.

Although contemporary young people are open-minded, they are still somewhat restrained when facing their parents and relatives.

On the wedding night, the bridal room was the biggest happy event in life, but he didn't sleep all night.

It’s not because of happiness,It's because of melancholy.

He suddenly realized that his wife was not the first time, which made him feel very unworthy after spending 200,000 betrothal gifts.

On the second day he woke up without saying anything, pretending to get along with his wife as usual, but he was very unhappy in his heart.

Later, they lived as ordinary couples as ordinary couples, having children, raising children, and things seemed to be normal to outsiders.

But Akun can't help but worry when he is alone. He has not had an easy life these years because he has been restraining himself.

He wants to play the role of a good husband, but when he thinks of his wife's past, he feels as uncomfortable as eating a fly.

He doesn't know how long he can pretend, but he knows that his wife is not a lover to him, but just a person who lives with him.

Concluding remarks:

With the development of the times and the progress of society, people's minds are becoming more and more open.

When free love is overwhelming, the self-control ability of young people is getting worse and worse.

They have no way to control themselves before marriage. They can easily "stealing the forbidden fruit" like Adam and Eve.

Maybe at that moment they really loved each other, they also wanted to go on for a long time, and even they have regarded each other as people who accompany each other for the rest of their lives.

But life is full of changes, no matter how beautiful the promises once, when reality comes, everyone can do nothing.

Once the mountain alliance and eachother will become memories,What has been delivered can never be returned.

This should be the real experience of many young people.

Some people say that it is more difficult to find a pure girl in modern society than to reach the sky. Unless you are married, it is difficult to do so.

Slowly everyone seems to have adapted to this kind of life. In the process of communication, we don't ask about the past, but only talk about the future.

There is even a saying on the Internet: "Whose new love is not someone else's old love?"

Everyone seems to have completely ignored each other's past, but in fact this is just an illusion.

Men have different attitudes towards dating and marriage.

Men really don’t care about each other’s past when they have a girlfriend, because they only get along for a short period of time.

When the opponent has a past, he will even feel more at ease, because this can reduce the feeling of guilt in his heart.

"It's not the first time for her anyway, and I don't need to take any responsibility for it." Many men will comfort themselves like this in their hearts.

So even if they break up in the future, men will not feel sorry for the girl.

But if they encounter a very pure girl who is still there "for the first time", they will often be ecstatic and plan to marry him home.

They know very well how difficult it is to meet a pure girl these days.

Falling in love doesn't matter, but getting married is different.

Sometimes a man's choice is just a helpless compromise.

In life, many men finally choose a woman with a past.

They keep saying that they don’t care about the past. In fact, this sentence is not for women, but for themselves. They are forcibly comforting themselves.

No matter what, they still mind this matter very much in their hearts, but they know that it is useless to say it. Not only can it not change the reality, but it will also add a lot of contradictions.

So they buried their mind deeply in their hearts, and they looked like they didn't care much.

Zhuang Diexiaomeng/The original author of the emotional column

May your life be full of surprises, and may your happiness come as expected.

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