The famous psychoanalysis school psychologist Freud believes that all psychological problems of a person are related to early childhood experiences, and the native family determines a person's personality to a large extent.
Therefore, from a certain perspective, a person's original family can affect a person's life, and of course, it will also affect his reproductive family.
If love is a matter of two people, then marriage is not so simple, it is more like a union between two families or even families.
Love and marriage are two different things. Love is a romantic date. Marriage is not only a dull stay, but also a close view of the true nature of the other person and the ability to get along with it.
Therefore, in order to ensure the happiness after marriage, it is necessary to take a look at the husband's family situation before marrying to avoid making wrong decisions, especially in these three places.
Family members getting along mode and intimacy
A large number of facts have proved that the mode of getting along between native family members can directly affect the next generation, that is to say, the getting along with many regenerated family members , Is the continuation of the original family model.
Therefore, before marrying, a woman must go to the man’s family to see whether their family members can get along in harmony, which determines the atmosphere of a family and the degree of closeness.
In the TV series " Qiao's children ", the five brothers and sisters of Qiao's family are not wealthy since they were young, but they always guarded this family.
Although they are sometimes noisy, but they are all hurt and not sad. Their cousin Qi Weimin is very envious of the feelings between their brothers and sisters.
After Qiao Yicheng married Xiang Nanfang, who was born in a high-ranking family, Qiao Yicheng knew that he was a humble background and feared that the other party's affairs would be jokes and disliked by the other party, so he rarely involved the other party in his family. Come.
For Xiang Nanfang, she loves Qiao Yicheng, so she wants to walk into his world. She doesn't want Qiao Yicheng to build a wall with her native family and keep herself out of the wall.
When she truly integrated into this big family, she was moved by the sincere feelings between the brothers and sisters of the Qiao family, not only did not dislike them, but also liked them very much.
From the closeness of the relationship between family members, we can see a person's sense of family responsibility.
The development of lifestyle habits is very important
There was a true story that the husband and wife divorced due to different lifestyle habits. The reason is very simple. The husband likes to take a bath at night, while the wife likes to take a bath in the morning. People often quarrel about this matter, and in the end no one is willing to make concessions and compromise, and eventually break up.
looks incredible. In real life, such examples are very common. For couples who have lived in marriage for decades and live under one roof, it is really difficult to get along with each other if there is a big difference in living habits.
Someone once said that if you are not a family, you will not enter a family.
includes lifestyle habits. If the eating habits, work and rest habits of two families or some other habits in life are very different, it will be difficult for the two people after marriage to run in.
Unless one person is willing to make changes for another person, isn't one's life just the cultivation and repetition of a habit?
It is difficult to completely change the habits that have been developed over the years. If there is a big gap between the two in these aspects, it may directly affect the harmony after marriage.
Living habits seem to be a trivial matter, and there are some fuss-making issues that need to be demonstrated. In fact, married people have a deep understanding of this.
So, don't ignore the living habits of a family. Of course, you need to master a degree here. Two families can't be exactly the same, but at least the differences are within a relatively reasonable range, which is the degree that you can accept.
The remaining part can be handed over to the running-in after marriage to reach a consensus.
Whether the three views are correct is greatly related to character
people’s three views,It is an important basis for guiding people's behavior. There is no right or wrong in the three views, only whether the fit is matched.
When people are in love, many truths are easily concealed by passion. Therefore, people in love look at each other as if they are wearing colored glasses.
Because when in love, both men and women seldom involve real thoughts and opinions, but after marriage, two people have to face many problems in life together, and the three views are very important.
Go to the other party’s family to take a look and judge whether you are in agreement with their three views from an objective point of view. Often in the process of negotiating marriage arrangements, you can also see how big the gap between you and their three views is and the degree of fit how many.
A tolerant and warm native family will focus on the wishes of two young people, respect their opinions, and try their best to satisfy their wishes. This is also a manifestation of love for children.
Some family parents respect themselves and ask their sons and daughter-in-laws to follow their own arrangements in everything, and completely ignore their feelings. This is something worth thinking about.
From observing the three views of the other’s family, one can see the pros and cons of their character. It is difficult to get along with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. Treat it with caution.
In any case, for women, when it comes to important matters in marriage and life, they must not be emotional, but must analyze carefully and make careful decisions. This is also responsible for themselves and the other party.
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