Contributors: Yu Ensheng
Talker: Nono pseudonym, female, 26 years old
The focus of this issue-
was enthusiastically pursued by her boyfriend before she became pregnant
■ After the engagement, I became pregnant
I am now facing a lot of difficulties. It can be said that I am stuck in a difficult situation and cannot help myself, so let me talk about it. I want to get everyone’s help for my own story.
I am pregnant. I am unmarried. The father of the child is my fiance. We are planning to get married on November. However, after I got engaged, I became pregnant, and the attitude of him and their family changed. I was in distress and I didn't know what to do.
Chen Lin and I met through introduction. We chatted for a while on WeChat, and we all found it to be interesting, so we met, and then we confirmed the relationship. My parents are not very happy with me and Chen Lin, saying that his conditions are too ordinary, and I should find a better one. At that time, I had just fallen out of love and had no self-confidence at all. I felt that I was also very ordinary. Chen Lin could like me, and I should seize this opportunity.
I have been in love with my ex-boyfriend for four years. He is regarded as the second generation of officials. His mother has always disagreed with us. I am very inferior and accommodated my ex-boyfriend in everything, but in the end, he broke up with me. I was shocked. I felt that my four years of youth was wasted in vain, and I felt that I was worthless before being abandoned. Because of the loss of self-confidence, Chen Lin wooed me, and I immediately agreed, fearing that he would not even be able to find him in the future.
My aunt's cousin, after knowing that I am in love with Chen Lin, resolutely objected: You are very beautiful and have a good personality. Why do you have to find such ordinary conditions? The point is that I see him very much like Ma Bao,You are really with him, I'm afraid I won't have a good life in the future.
My cousin had two dinners with Chen Lin and I. She thought he was not generous, and she had to report to his mother later when she went back, saying that Ma Baonan was the only one who had troubles. I thought: I just didn’t invite you to a big meal, so why scold someone.
When my cousin heard that I was going to be engaged to Chen Lin, she invited me out specially, she wanted me to calm down, and she wanted to introduce me to a better partner. I was already with Chen Lin at that time, and I was willing to marry him, so I kept saying good things for Chen Lin, saying that he was attentive and considerate to me, and his family spoiled me very much. The cousin was boring and left angrily.
Actually, I admire my cousin very much. She is not very beautiful, but she is very confident. The boyfriend she is looking for is more handsome than the other, and the family conditions are also very good, but she is not satisfied yet and believes that she will find a better one. I can't do it. Although family conditions are better than Chen Lin, I still feel that I don't have a formal job, I am short and don't know how to dress up. It's good to find Chen Lin. I never thought I should find someone better than him.
Later, I realized that maybe my previous relationship made me not want to climb high, and I felt that he would cherish me if I found someone whose conditions were similar to my own or even worse than my own.
When I fell in love with my ex-boyfriend, I accustomed him to everything. I felt wronged and had no self-esteem. However, Chen Lin followed me everywhere, calling and sending WeChat every day, and all kinds of concerns made me taste of being pursued. The taste of being loved. I used to go to my ex-boyfriend’s house occasionally, and I would buy expensive things for his mother, but I couldn’t get a smiley face.
After falling in love with Chen Lin, Chen Lin's mother called me over to eat over three days. The dishes I cooked were all my favorites, and I didn't need to clean the dishes after the meal. At that time, I felt that ordinary people are as good as ordinary people, and I don't want to be rich and wealthy. I can be loved by my husband and loved by my mother-in-law. Such a small life is good.
When they got engaged, the Chen Lin family gave them eighty-eight thousand. My parents were very happy and said: I don't care about giving them ten thousand or twenty thousand, mainly because there is someone in their family.
After getting engaged, I sometimes live in Chen's house after middle work. It didn't take long before I found out that I was pregnant.
■ After he became pregnant, his attitude with his family changed.
After knowing that he was pregnant, I was panicked and asked Chen Lin what to do. He opened his mouth and said: Let me ask my mother.
I was very upset at the time: No wonder my cousin said that your mother Baonan, this is our business, do you want to say it or not?
Chen Lin immediately said: Yes, how can our children not?
But I can still hear that his tone is very shaky. After two days, Chen Lin said: My mother has forgotten the next day. When you get married on October 1st, your belly is too big. She asked us to register and hold the wedding in advance.
I had no idea, so I asked my parents for their opinions. They were very helpless about my unmarried pregnancy and had to agree. Unexpectedly, Chen Lin and his family's attitude towards me took a 180-degree turn.
I didn't notice it at first, or my mother asked: Why did Chen Lin come less during this time?
After this question, I found out that before, Chen Lin came here almost every day, and he didn't come empty-handed when he came, but now, I don't call him and he comes empty-handed. I was a little annoyed, so I sent a WeChat complaint to him, and he hurriedly bought something delicious and delivered it.
Then, Chen Lin's family said that the wedding room hadn't been installed yet and asked me to use our house as a wedding room. I was very angry: My parents bought the house. Although the name is in my name, my parents are going to live in. How can I occupy their house? Besides, it is your family who married a wife, and you are not cutting the door upside down. How can you live in our house?
Chen Lin heard what I said, but was not happy: We just live for a while and move back to our own house in the future. Besides, we are married as a family.What are you doing so clearly?
When I told my parents, they were annoyed: Now they are worried about our family's property, they just think you are pregnant and start to threaten us...
Chen Lin's family sees that we disagree, so they have to hurry up and install the house. While pretending, I yelled that I was out of money, so I gave Chen Lin 50,000 yuan, saying that I should put it up quickly, dry it early, and move in after marriage to try not to affect the fetus. After the house was completed, our family bought a full set of furniture. What is ridiculous is that after Chen Lin's mother went over and looked at it, he said: We bought everything from the wife's trash can, why don't you even have pots and pans?
I was so angry: You both care about this. Who said before that we don’t need to take care of anything when we get married?
Chen Lin also felt embarrassed, so he hurried to buy all the cooking utensils.
When it came to the wedding banquet, the two families almost turned their faces. Originally, their family said that they would book a five-star hotel, but now they say that the time is too rush to book, and they have to book a general hotel. My dad said that he could set a five-star rating, and Chen Lin his mother changed his face: it's all this time, it's okay if there is almost something like that.
My dad is irritated: Forget it, it doesn’t matter if this marriage is not married. As for the children, if Nono wants it, my mother and I will help raise it. If not, it’s better to say...
Chen Lin’s father At this time I spoke: Don’t be angry, my family, my family doesn’t mean that. The wedding banquet is easy to discuss. If it doesn’t work, let’s set a five-star.
Chen Lin gave his father a fierce look, and reluctantly said: Let's go with you, the ugly words are in your head, and then each will be your own...
My parents were so angry. I couldn't tell, I was afraid that I was sad and fetal gas, and finally endured the anger and finished the meal.
I am also afraid of my parents being angry, so I dare not say anything, but I still understand in my heart that if Chen Lin’s family is not trying to take back the previous red envelopes,Even the wedding will be cancelled.
■ Faced with humiliation, I don’t know what to do
was originally a happy event, because after I became pregnant, Chen Lin’s family changed their attitude, which made our family feel resentful and entangled: Chen Lin wanted to register as soon as possible, but their family Now that's it, you can imagine it after getting married. If I don’t register, I don’t have the courage to have a child out of wedlock. If I separate, what will happen to the child in my stomach?
For the baby in my womb, my feelings are very complicated. Because I am a mother, I am very excited and very happy. But when I think of the changes in Chen Lin's family, I feel depressed and feel very humiliated: How can they do this if they treat me very well before, but now they don't take me seriously?
Because I care too much about Chen Lin and their family's attitude towards me, I feel that what they do is different from before. I always feel that I am pregnant. They feel that they have the initiative and I can only completely obey. The thought of this made me unhappy, and inevitably nagging with Chen Lin, he said that I was too sensitive and he had not changed at all, and his parents treated me better than before for the sake of the child in my stomach.
I was even more angry when I heard it: Didn’t I just boil chicken soup for me to drink, bought beef for me to eat, or for the baby, am I just a fertility tool?
What makes me even more depressed is that when choosing a wedding dress, Chen Lin felt that I was pregnant, so I didn't need to choose expensive ones, just pick the ones that were about the same, and his mother didn't want me to put on makeup, saying that it was not good for the fetus. Oh my god, can you see wedding photos without makeup?
The feeling of being discriminated against made me very uncomfortable, but the next thing made me more uncomfortable: my work was far away from home, and I sometimes lived in Chen Lin's house after getting engaged. After getting pregnant, Chen Lin and his mother said to ride an electric bike. Not safe, let me live in their home every day. Before I was not pregnant and his mother didn't let me wash the dishes, but now he asks me to wash the fruit and wipe the table, and Chen Lin doesn't help me while sitting on the sofa and playing on the phone.
I was so wronged, I quarreled a few words with him one day, but he didn’t like it anymore.Said that I can't make good money by serving me all day.
Seeing me crying home with anger, my mother shed tears, and my father sighed. When Chen Lin came to pick me up, my father said that it was impossible to separate me. Chen Lin said that treating me as a family is not as polite as before. , And vowed that I will not be wronged again in the future.
But I can see that Chen Lin’s apology was not from the heart, and his attitude was not sincere, so he didn’t go back with him. As a result, a week later, he didn’t come to pick me up. He just sent WeChat to ask me every day. Told me to be more careful. I am very aggrieved and angry. I often want to get rid of the child and break up with Chen Lin, but I can touch my stomach, as if the fetus inside is moving, it feels very distressed. I am so entangled...
(The characters in the text are all pseudonyms , The opinions expressed in the article do not represent the positions and opinions of this newspaper and the author)
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