Recently, a friend was so anxious that everything went wrong.
01
Just after her first year, she mustered the courage to jump out of her comfort zone and recently joined an Internet company.
But after joining the company, I found that everything is so incompatible with me. The surrounding colleagues are all post-95s, even post-00s, and even their direct supervisors are younger than themselves.
At work, everyone talked lively about the second element of anime and idol talent show. After get off work, they also played script kills and escaped rooms.
The company atmosphere is very lively, so lively that I look like an outsider no matter what.
While worrying about the right choice in the workplace, the family does not make people worry.
's relationship with her mother-in-law is still not harmonious enough, and her husband also leaves most of his time and tenderness to work, colleagues and bosses, but fewer and fewer people stay at home.
Looking at the faint work in the bottom of my heart and the family where there are cracks at any time, she is no longer so sure and feels that her life has encountered a real crisis.
In fact, we are alive, and we are always worried.
Learning anxiety, college entrance anxiety, workplace anxiety, marriage anxiety, family anxiety, appearance anxiety, social status anxiety...
Very strange, we like to use age to describe the different stages and states of individual maturity.When you reach this age, but have not reached the ideal state that this age should have, anxiety will follow .
So, how should we deal with these anxieties and crises?
The answer is knows the destiny .
02
What is the destiny?
Let’s start with the Analects.
The son said: "I have five at ten and I am determined to learn, stand at thirty, without confusion at forty, know the destiny at fifty, sixty and , ears , seventy, I follow my heart's desire and do not exceed the rules. ”
Only after knowing the fate, can we do what we want.
Feng Youlan also said in the " History of Chinese Philosophy":
In Chinese, the so-called heaven has five meanings: the first is the matter of heaven, and the earth The sky is the emperor God, the personified sky; the third is the natural sky, which is the operation of nature; the fourth is the sky of destiny,Refers to the helpless in life; the fifth is the heaven of justice and the highest truth of the universe.
The "knowing the destiny" mentioned here is that knows how to conform to the truth hidden in helplessness and create the certainty of life in a world of uncertainty .
03
So, how can we know the destiny?
I think that in order to "know the destiny", we must understand the three things of ability boundaries, relationship weights, and life goals.
1 Recognize the boundaries of ability and build a moat of life
First of all, you must clearly understand your own strengths and weaknesses and what you can’t do.
Secondly, continue to cultivate deeply in the field of one's own advantages, build a moat that others cannot replace and cannot violate, so that one can advance and retreat and defend.
Founder of Chaos Academy Li Shanyou Professor thinks that is the underlying methodology for ordinary people to realize the iterative transition when talking about the deep cultivation of advantageous fields.
Finally, don’t be superstitious about the so-called "jumping out of the comfort zone", the comfort zone that you can easily jump out of,It's not really a comfort zone at all. The real "jumping out of the comfort zone" is a natural extension of ability iteration, not a high-rise building on the flat ground in an unfamiliar field.
Most of the current workplace crises are caused by not recognizing the boundaries of their own capabilities and building a moat of capability.
2 clarify the weight of the relationship and identify the main contradictions in life
people are the sum of all social relationships .
Therefore, it is extremely important to sort out various interpersonal relationships.
But don’t get me wrong. The clarification here does not refer to the understanding of world affairs and the practice of human relations.
The clarification here is more like what Chairman Mao said in the " Contradiction Theory ", to distinguish the primary and secondary contradictions of life, the relationship between the whole and the part.
In the family, we must always firmly believe that the relationship between husband and wife is the main conflict. When encountering any family conflict that cannot be resolved, remember not to hurt the relationship between husband and wife.
In your work, you must always firmly believe that the relationship between you and your responsibilities is the main contradiction. You may not be good at dealing with the relationship with leaders and colleagues, but you must have the ability to complete tasks, or even exceed expectations. .
3 Look for life goals and persevere to achieve them
I have seen too many smart people,Trying to chase the wind.
, but not many really catch up, most of the reason is because there is no strategic determination and sense of purpose in life.
Whatever is popular, I will do what I do, and I will chase whatever is popular. In the end, I was shot to death on the beach.
young people, these can be interpreted as dare to dare to do.
But frivolousness is romantic for teenagers; for middle-aged people, it is greasy.
Whether in the workplace or in life, you need to find a goal to fight for, and then insist that the green hills will not relax and smash to the end.
04
Therefore, life does not need to be unbelieving, but to know the destiny.
But no matter what, as later generations commented on Confucius 's "knowing the destiny", this actually just represents the beginning of a reconciliation with oneself.
Even if you already know "knowing the destiny", this does not guarantee that you will succeed.
So, don't be too anxious, be a life player who recognizes the essence of life and still loves life.
