A male reader sent me a private message:
I suspect that my wife is cheating, but I can't find any evidence. I feel as bad as being bitten by an ant these two days. If you don't know what to do, just ask directly. You're afraid that you will startle the snake. If you don't ask, you'll be cranky.
The key point of his help is, let me help him find a way to see what other means can be used to find evidence of his wife's derailment.
I burst out laughing and asked him why he concluded that his wife had cheated.
He listed his wife's abnormal behavior in the past two months, and added a sentence at the end: If she hadn't cheated, it would never have been so abnormal, and I can't find any evidence now.
What are the abnormal behaviors of his wife?
For example:
used to prepare dinner every night. No matter how late he got home from get off work, the meal was always hot. He could just wash his hands and eat it directly.
But in the past two months, no matter whether he goes home early or late, his wife will not cater to his meal time, but will eat her own and no longer leave him dinner. He asked his wife about the meal, but his wife replied coldly: You want to cook for yourself, and I am not your nanny.
In the past, before he got up in the morning, his wife had already made breakfast, called him to get up, washed the child, and had to iron his shirt and hand it to him.
Today, my wife still wakes up early to take care of the child, but she doesn't care about him, she sends the child to kindergarten, and the wife goes back to sleep when she comes back. .
In the past, every time he came home from get off work, his wife always wanted to pull him to talk and share his part-time work.Now that his wife doesn't pull him to talk, he misses it.
He also found that his wife had a new hairstyle and signed up for a yoga class, so she was busy all day. I was not willing to spend money before, and I am no longer distressed.
This series of different actions made him feel a sense of crisis. He checked his wife's mobile phone, chat records, shopping records, and phone records. He had to find the man who destroyed his family. Unfortunately, nothing was found.
In a marriage, once a woman becomes less concerned about men and turns her attention to herself, is there someone outside? Such a judgment is obviously stupid and biased.
She has indeed changed her mind, but she just doesn't focus on you anymore.
After a middle-aged woman changes her mind, there will be signs. There are three "traces" that cannot be hidden.
The degree of attention to her husband has declined, and she even ignored the reader's wife
. At first glance, she is a full-time wife. She takes care of the children, cleans up the house, takes care of her husband at home, and occasionally works part-time to earn some money.
A woman is willing to give up her career and return to her family. If her husband understands her concessions, then this is not a sacrifice for the family. If you don't understand, for women, this is a kind of sacrifice.
From the perspective of human nature, no one will always make sacrifices. When she sacrifices her energy, time, and future to complete her family, but can't get the same return, she will feel chills after disappointment.
Many husbands do not understand the emotional needs of their wives. They feel that they are earning money to support their families and that they have no bad hobbies, so their wives should satisfy them.
But have you ever thought that the reason why you are so focused on work is because your wife is holding you behind your back.
She takes care of your stomach, takes care of your image, and takes care of all household chores because she loves you.
When a wife's attention to her husband decreases, or even ignores her, it means that she has changed her mind and doesn't want to "serve" you as before, because it's not worth it.
What a woman wants from a man is not much, some attention and tenderness. When she asks for it for a long time but cannot get it, she will inevitably pay less attention to her husband in order to seek "psychological balance".
The hobbies and hobbies have changed, and they begin to charge themselves
After a woman gets married and has a child, she seldom pays attention to herself.
As mothers, they always think about their children and are reluctant to spend money on themselves. They always feel that children will spend a lot of money in the future, and they can save a little bit. Her husband will have less hard work. Even if she has a part-time job and can earn living expenses, she will take it for granted that she wants to save money for her husband.
I met a full-time mother who took her child for a walk in the park in summer. It was so hot that she wanted to eat ice cream. There was a beverage shop next to her. She took a look at the price and left. I asked her if she didn't want to drink ice? She said it was too expensive.
This stay-at-home mom is my friend. In order to ease her embarrassment, I bought a buy-one-get-one-free drink, saying that I want to drink it too.
Sometimes, men may be accustomed to women's efforts, but they cannot see women's efforts.
When a woman is in a marriage without her husband's attention for a long time, she can either endure or resist.
Resistance begins with a focus on self.
Which woman has few hobbies, who doesn't like to dress up beautifully, and who wants to be looked down upon by others?
She started working out, started putting on makeup, started doing things she wanted to do, and started taking online classes, all of which just showed that she wanted to find herself back.
A woman's change of heart towards a man is only because she has been disappointed too much in the past.
You have no desire to share, but pay more attention to your inner self.
How important is the desire to share for couples?
Sharing is an important link to connect the relationship between husband and wife. Couples who can share, understand each other, have a high emotional viscosity, and have a stable intimacy.
Many middle-aged couples have been married for a long time, and their husbands will despise their wives for being talkative and nagging, and even fantasize that it would be better if they had married a caring and gentle woman.
What woman doesn't like to share her daily life with the one she loves?
Women's desire to share is naturally stronger than that of men. When she sees beautiful clouds in the sky, a small flower on the roadside, and small achievements in work, she wants to share with her lover.
Whether happy or sad, sharing is a way of love.
When she has no desire to share with you and pays more attention to her own heart, it means that she has changed her mind. You are no longer the most important person in her heart, let alone the one who can share at any time.
She would rather keep these little joys in her heart, laugh secretly when she thinks about it, and would not share it with her husband. As husbands, please reflect on yourselves.
is very simple, change of heart, because it is broken.
The degree of attention to her husband decreased, and she did not even pay attention to her; her hobbies and hobbies changed, and she began to recharge herself; she did not want to share with you, and she paid more attention to her heart.
There will be signs when a middle-aged woman changes her mind.
If a man is really attentive, if he notices the change in his wife earlier and changes his way of getting along in marriage, he may be able to restore a woman's heart. If you let it go, don't respect your wife, don't care, then sooner or later, she will leave you.
The famous writer Zhang Xiaofeng wrote in "Mother's Feather":
Which mother is not a fairy? And one day, her feather coat disappeared, and she put on the coarse cloth of the world - she has decided to be a mother. Some people say that her feather coat is locked in the box and she can no longer fly. It was also said that it was her husband who locked the keys and that the keys were hidden in a very secret place.
But all mothers knew that the fairy knew where the box was, and she knew where the keys were. When there is no one, she will even open the box in a melancholy manner and stroke those soft feathers with sad eyes. She knew that as soon as Yu Yi put on her clothes, she would return to the clouds.
But she patted and patted the soft white feathers again and again, silently closing the box and hiding the keys. It was she who locked that old feather coat by herself. She couldn't fly because she couldn't bear to fly.
When you think a woman can't leave you, it's not that she can't leave, but she can't bear to leave.
When a woman changes her mind, it is not necessarily because she falls in love with someone else.
But she discovered the truth in marriage: love yourself more so that you won't let yourself down.
What should husbands do about this? Especially husbands who have been married for many years.
First of all, pay more attention to the wife's heart, especially the emotional needs of the wife;
Second, communicate more between husband and wife, no matter how trivial things are, they can be used as chat content; Give her warmth, hug her more, kiss her, don't feel embarrassed by middle-aged couples showing intimacy, any long-term couple should learn to express love correctly.
- Today's topic:
What do you think are the signs of a woman's change of heart?
Huaying Human World: Focus on interpreting the emotional problems of marriage, soothing and warming you in the hustle and bustle of the world
