Text/Wang Xiaoqiang
My mother converted to Buddhism at the age of seventy-four.
As for my mother's actions, I was surprised at first, and then I was puzzled: Why did my mother concentrate on sitting in meditation and chanting sutras to the Buddha? Why did the mother put her body and mind in that lonely temple?
I called my wife, brothers-in-law and sisters-in-law and asked if we had treated my mother badly, and everyone agreed: No.
After that, my mother recited sutras and worshipped Buddha with peace of mind in the temple. Sometimes, my wife and I go to visit the temple together. When we are lucky, we will see my mother chanting sutras in class - my mother gently moves the lotus steps, burns incense and kneels, and recites words in her mouth. The thin body, Zhuang Mu's demeanor, and devout worship made me see an unusual mother.
When my wife and I met, my mother was in her late sixties. At that time, my mother was strong and it was common practice to push carts. I often see my mother carrying a load of tofu or dried bean curd to the market, and when she comes home she still looks happy and not tired.
After my wife and I got married, there was a custom of "seeing my daughter" in the countryside. Carrying a load of gifts, the mother walked more than ten miles to visit her newly married son and daughter-in-law.
My mother called my wife's nickname from afar, I ran downstairs, I saw my mother walking quickly and smiling, I hurriedly took over the burden from my mother, but how can I, a person who is not diligent, bear the hands of my mother burden? Mother said with a smile, give me the burden.
I smiled apologetically, looking at the scene of my mother carrying upstairs, I couldn't help but awe: Mother's gift is so heavy! At that time, the figure of my mother carrying the burden was deeply engraved in my memory.
My mother sometimes talks to me about her past.My mother told me about her lonely childhood and her tragic fate. The mother said that in addition to raising five children, she also raised three other people's children without compensation.
In that era of lack of clothing and food, I can't imagine how my mother overcame hunger and poverty. How much sweat and hardships have been paid!
The mother said that some of the three children she was obligated to bring up did not even come to see her. I said, mother, do you regret your kindness? Mother said, there is nothing to regret, as long as they live well.
From my mother's plain words, from my mother's kind face, I understood my mother and my mother's Buddhism.
Mother's Buddhist deeds are the incense that lingers around the world; mother's Buddhist deeds are kindness that do not seek to give back.
Perhaps, at the moment when the mother's life was born, a lamp of kindness was lit. Once this lamp of kindness is lit, it will never go out.
There are many people who recite sutras and worship Buddha every day. They only pay attention to their homework in the morning and evening. They only pay attention to the form of burning incense and worship. They only pay attention to the chanting in their mouths. However, after walking out of the Buddhist temple, he still went his own way, completely forgetting the original intention of , Dharma and .
And my mother is sincere and respectful to the Buddhadharma of the Bodhisattva, always the same.
Once, my mother picked up a gold necklace on the street, and asked aloud, who lost the gold necklace and who lost the gold necklace? A greedy person said, the old man's gold necklace was lost by me, please return it to me!
Mother handed over the gold necklace without the slightest suspicion. She did not want the real owner to be found. Her mother said that the gold necklace had been taken by so-and-so.So the two scolded the public for a gold necklace, and the mother sighed while Amitabha Buddha: It is not easy to do good deeds.
From my mother's selfless act of kindness, from my mother's helpless sighs, I understood my mother and my mother's Buddhist deeds.
Mother's Buddhist work is a place of kindness to the Buddha; mother's Buddhist work is the Bodhi of being a pure human being.
Influenced by my mother, I read a lot of Buddhist scriptures and Zen. However, in my opinion, the mother who does not know a word still has a problem in the practice of Buddhism. To a certain extent, my mother has not completely gotten rid of "superstition" in Buddhism and has reached the realm of "wisdom and faith". The mother's mortal heart is fearless but has worries, and although there is no regret, it is hindered.
For example, my aunt (mother's sister) died suddenly , which gave a heavy blow to my mother who was recovering from a serious illness while chanting sutras.
On the night of 's aunt 's sacrifice, my mother sat beside my aunt's coffin, looked at my aunt lying quietly in the coffin, and kept crying. Crying that they did not enjoy the loneliness of a father's love and a mother's love , crying that they did not sing and laughing in their abused childhood, and crying that their sisters' relationship was so far away that they were far away from each other. Crying that they have worked so hard to be blind and helpless all their lives. Crying for them... My wife went to comfort me and said, don't let my mother suppress her emotions, let my mother talk to my aunt.
On the day of my aunt's funeral, my mother held onto my aunt's hearse with both hands, and let out a loud voice of grief. Viewers and listeners are unmoved.
I hugged my mother tightly and said mother, let me go, mother, don't be too sad, don't break your body by crying...
My mother didn't seem to hear my consolation at all, and her hands still clung to my aunt's hearse Don't let go: Girl, your life is so hard! Why did you leave without saying a word to me...
For a long time, my mother was still immersed in the feelings of getting along with my aunt and caring for each other day and night. I said that the mother Buddha called the death of a person "passing away" and "returning to heaven". My aunt has got rid of the troubles of the world and went to the blissful world in the western sky. You should feel relieved for my aunt. Mother with tears in her eyes, silent .
Mother, I understand you, I understand your Buddhist deeds, from the sound of your wailing and the sad expression on your face.
Mother's Buddhist deeds are remembrance yesterday's sadness; mother's Buddhist deeds. It is the family of and heart.
Today, I went to see my mother again. I said, mother, I recently wrote a poem entitled "Mountain Foothills". Let me read it to you: "The dusty mind is aware of the Buddha's will, but the ordinary mind is not empty. If you want to wash away your troubles, you will be deeply entangled." Later, I explained the meaning to my mother, who looked at me and remained silent.
Perhaps it was the careful care of the children before the sickbed; perhaps it was the painstaking consolation of the monks; or perhaps it was the enlightenment of the mother's Zen heart... My mother finally recovered from the grief of my aunt's death, and my wife and I were hanging. My heart finally calmed down.
In the Buddhist hall, I can see the thin body of my mother burning incense and worshiping the Buddha again, and I can hear my mother's pure and sweet voice of chanting. Maybe, my mother could not save all sentient beings in her whole life, but at least my mother's Buddhist deeds saved me: be kind to Buddha, and be innocent.
