once watched a parenting show. The child suddenly lost his temper while eating, threw the pillow on the ground and stomped his feet, then hid behind the door and started crying loudly. It's no use persuading him. Mother pulled the child to the edge of the sofa. The first thing she said to the child was to put a label: "You can't be unreasonable, man." The child cried even louder when she heard this. In the end, his father was impatient and threatened to hit someone with a ruler. Only then did the child temporarily stop crying.
There are many parents in life who cannot accept their children's temper tantrums, especially in public places.
because they think that children who lose their temper are just ignorant.
is not the case.
A child who loses his temper is not unreasonable in most cases, but his needs and emotions are not taken seriously.
A child’s temper is his language.
1. The child’s temper may be due to the development of the brain.
According to Siegel’s book "Whole Brain Education", whether it is a child or an adult, when the emotions are overwhelming, the culprit The culprit is that our right brain and upper brain have problems.
Recognizing upper-level anger and lower-level anger can help us teach children effectively. The ultimate solution to these two angers is to let children learn to use the upper brain as much as possible, which is also a way of integrating the upper and lower brains.
"Once our own left and right brains are able to reconcile, we can connect the left brain of reality with reason (allowing us to make important decisions and solve problems), and also connect the right brain with emotions (allowing us to perceive feelings, physical feelings and Emotions), thus responding to the children's needs eagerly."
Children often have emotional out-of-control and tantrums. This is because their right brain (emotion) is dominant and the upper brain (rational) is still developing.
2, if the child loses his temper, it may be that the demands are not met.
Some parents ignore the child when the child loses his temper and puts forward willful demands. It is okay to let the child calm down, but this does not mean turning a blind eye. Children find that crying is useless, so naturally they will not lose their temper, but their demands are still not satisfied, and their negative emotions have not been truly released. Parents always use this method. After a long period of time, the children will feel that they are not valued and wronged, that they do not love themselves, and cause harm to the children's soul.
3. If the child loses his temper, it may be that he has not felt love.
Psychologist Herbart said: Children need love, especially when children are not worthy of love.
Some children lose their temper because they don't know how to deal with them, or because they are unable to overcome difficulties. This is asking their parents for help, but the way he expresses them is wrong. But the child did not feel a little caring, a little love from his parents! If they can get the help of their parents and feel their parents' love for him, then the child will not lose his temper easily.
Therefore, should not interpret the child's tantrums as a simple ignorance . Parents should promptly help their children so that they can be cared and loved.
4. The child loses his temper, which may be frustration.
Children aged 2-5 are in the "self-centered stage" of moral development. At this stage, children's independence consciousness begins to sprout. When their ideas are not realized, they will feel frustrated.
Child psychology research believes that under the effect of self-protection, it is normal for children to be unwilling to face failure at this time, which is a human instinctive response.
When a child loses his temper, your first words are very important.
1. Accept the child’s emotions and wait for the stability of the emotions.
When the child has negative emotions, adults often respond with "this is not allowed" and cannot provide the child with one. Practicing the opportunity to face and deal with negative emotions, or to realize that children need a mental journey to deal with such emotions, it will be counterproductive.
For example, the child has just finished eating ice cream, but still wants to eat it while crying. Then the mother beats the child because of an emotional outburst. When the father sees it, he coaxes with distress, "The baby is not crying, the smelly mother beats the baby, and father takes you. Go eat ice cream". This kind of similar situation is believed to have happened between many parents, but such a way of singing red faces and singing black faces will confuse the baby, and the child will simply think that the mother will not let the father eat ice cream and cry and find the father .
The correct way is to try to understand the children’s emotions and then guide them. For example, you can say to the children, "I know that my baby loves ice cream the most. The sweet taste is great, and my mother loves it too. I have had stomach pains after eating too much, so I didn't buy them in order to prevent the baby from having stomach pains. Let's eat another day, OK." Adults must give children clear behavior restrictions, so that after a few times, children will understand that eating ice cream is uncomfortable, and will consciously stop eating ice cream and want to eat it.
2. Help children to vent their emotions reasonably.
Child psychologist Dr. Deborah McNamara believes that: Let the children lose their temper, not try to prevent them from losing their temper. When the child's negative emotions accumulate to a certain extent, we need to reasonably guide the child to vent.
For example, you can play the game of "playing sandbags" to vent your emotions on the sandbags; you can play dancing games and twist your body to the music at will; or play the game of "eat you" and treat some snacks as unhappy bad emotions. Then eat it into the stomach...
Parents, the best emotional managers for their children,
. Parents who are patient will educate children who are patient. Accepting the temper of a child is the practice of being a parent. The peaceful attitude of parents is the seed of hope for children. When a child loses his temper, the first sentence of a parent is very important:
, "I know", is better than politely reasoning;
, "I will too", is better than simple and rude suppression;
, "I know you", is better A thousand words of comfort.
Every time a child loses his temper, it is actually a good opportunity for him to learn and grow.
takes children’s temper seriously, so that children can gain the greatest strength for growth in the acceptance and understanding of their parents.
hope that every child can be treated with gentleness!
