At 10:30 in the evening on November 12, Li Yanbing (a pseudonym), a senior high school student in a high school in Nanjing, could not bear his mother's preaching and abuse, and killed him with a kitchen knife. After spending the night at a classmate’s house, the student went to the school to explain the situation to the head teacher the next day and called the police to surrender. In recent years,
has been hearing this kind of tragic news constantly. Apart from shock and sorrow, I can’t help asking: "How do parents raise their children into enemies?"
parents should be the closest and favorite people to their children. But in the end, he became the most alienated and hated person of the child. This is undoubtedly "freezing three feet is not a day's cold." In many cases of "killing of relatives", behind every "suffering" child is at least one strong and demanding parent. The wrong parenting methods of parents not only squeeze the child's independence and free space, completely lose self-esteem and self-confidence, but also deprive the child of growth opportunities and power, and fundamentally stifle the child's vitality.
The child will constantly try to get rid of the control of his parents and escape from the family environment that is suffocating him. However, when every effort ends in failure, the child's mental breakdown, so he takes various unwise extreme ways to separate from his parents. Suicide or marital killing became the main method.
Li Yanbing's mother is a teacher, who has been very strict with him since he was a child, especially paying attention to his grades, which led him to live in a state of stress and depression. In the third year of high school, his mother rented a house near the school in order to get him admitted to a good university, in order to better supervise his son's study.
has always been in a state of tension at school, and when he arrives at home, he has to accept strict supervision from his mother, even criticism and abuse. How many people can bear it?
It is understood that Li Yanbing has achieved very good results in this mid-term exam (improved by nearly 300) and won the school's award, which is most likely related to his mother's strict supervision and careful guidance. But he obviously didn't appreciate his mother's contribution because of the improvement in his grades. On the contrary, he might be pushed into the abyss because of his mother's increased pressure.
Some neighbors reported that Li Yanbing's mother and son often heard fierce disputes at night. This shows that the contradiction between mother and child has really reached the point where it is irreconcilable and breaks out at any time. This was definitely not formed in a short period of time. After more than ten years of accumulation and fermentation, it must finally reach a limit. On the day of the incident, there was another dispute between the mother and the son. Li Yanbing couldn't stand his mother's accusation and humiliation, so he took a kitchen knife. So tragedy happened.
In such a tragedy, parents and children are not heinous people. They are all because of long-term insecurity, extreme anxiety, fear and anger in their hearts that lead to the tragedy.
Parents use extreme methods to force their children to achieve good grades in order for their children to be admitted to a good university and live a good life. At the same time, they also destroy the children's self-confidence and self-esteem, and make the children suffocate and have nowhere to escape. The children have protested or resisted more than once, but their parents have long been swallowed by utilitarianism, vanity, anxiety and panic. They have lost the ability to think and perceive, and they can't see or hear the children's pain and shouts.
Parents treat the child as a personal item, not a living person. They always ask their children to study and live according to their own wishes, otherwise they will be punished. Children cannot release all kinds of negative emotions in their hearts. Imagine a person who has been deprived of the right to choose, speak, and decide, loses his freedom, and lives solely for others, can he not feel pain, helplessness, and anger? When he tried all the methods to no avail, he could only think of letting his parents disappear to get rid of their shackles completely.
Parents themselves have various psychological problems and psychological traumas, and fail to face and deal with them in time, resulting in the inability to raise children wisely and scientifically, and vent all kinds of negative emotions accumulated over the years on the children, making the children overwhelmed.
They are unwilling or afraid to learn the basic common sense of family education, because this will undoubtedly take up a scalpel to dissect themselves. They are always escaping, but they can't stop their own problems from continuously affecting the healthy growth of their children. Eventually, to the point where they are out of control, the whole family is trapped in a vicious circle, and the whole family is in a vicious cycle. Until one day, the child used all kinds of extreme methods to give the family a fatal blow, so everything fell apart and fell apart.
Of course, children using such extreme methods can not solve the problem at all. It will only make the problem extremely serious. The gain will not be worth the loss, and will also be burdened with heavy moral shackles.Moment is tortured by guilt, self-blame, regret, and even the price of life. The reason why the child chooses such an unwise way to solve the problem is because he has accumulated too much anger, which can no longer make him calm down and think, just want to get rid of his parents forever as quickly as possible. Some people may ask
: "How much hatred is necessary for a child to kill a child?"
has not been seen, treated, or respected for more than ten years, and lived entirely for others, which is enough to destroy a person's Kindness and reason are enough to make a cute little angel an enemy.
Being kind to children means being kind to yourself. I hope that all families in the world can be kind and happy.
