The parents asked the teacher
that the child lived with his grandparents in his hometown since childhood, and our husband and wife worked in Shanghai. Some time ago, we brought our children to Shanghai for a few days. But the child is very uncomfortable, not only is not close to us, but also very repulsive to the living environment. The child is emotionally close to grandparents, but alienated from us, what should we do?
What is a left-behind child?
There is a group in China: their parents go out to work for their livelihoods, earn family income with hard work and wisdom, and contribute to economic development and social stability, but their children stay at home in the countryside and spend time with their parents Very little, including the mainland cities, both parents go out to work in the bustling cities. These children who should be the pearls of their parents have all become a special vulnerable group-left-behind children.
Reasons for the alienation of left-behind children from their parents
Attachment to parents is the child's nature. Parents are the first man and the first woman a child meets in this world. The growth of a child in this life is tied to the parents. Children always depend more on their parents when they are young than when they grow up. Children who grow up in ordinary families will gradually alienate their parents as they grow older, not to mention left-behind children who cannot see their parents several times a year. In the hearts of left-behind children, to a large extent, there is a common understanding that parents do not care about themselves, otherwise they will not leave themselves alone. This is the heart disease of most left-behind children and the reason why left-behind children alienate their parents.
When left-behind children are estranged from their parents, what can we do?
The emotional alienation of left-behind children from their parents should arouse great attention, because the elderly are getting older and have limited energy and ability. After all, the growth of children depends on the upbringing of their parents. Children will not refuse to try a new life, and the main thing is that parents should take the initiative to establish family relationships with their children. Parents can consider taking their children around during the winter and summer vacations, and use this time to help the children make adjustments in their lifestyle and psychological emotions in order to improve the parent-child relationship. The following are some measures to improve the alienation of left-behind children when they get along with their parents.
1. In-depth understanding of children’s hometown life: children’s learning, life, physical and mental health, inter-generational education, environmental adaptation, etc., what are the advantages and problems, parents must understand clearly and know well. So as to "prescribe the right medicine" to talk to children, care for them better, educate them, and let them grow up better.
2. Warm and warm to the elderly: The hard work of grandparents and grandparents should be fully affirmed, and gratitude should be expressed; the elderly's illnesses, difficulties in life, etc. should be taken care of in time and improved as much as possible. Play a role model for children.
3. Choose the right transition period: through full communication with the child, choose the right time as the transition period for the parent-child adaptation. Do not blindly pick faults with the child, and do not dislike the child's ignorance, but first respect and accept him; if you can Satisfy some reasonable interests of the child, help the child make new friends, and the child will not reject the new environment.
4. Guide children to adapt to the new environment: help children observe and understand the new environment, take them to visit their parents’ workplaces, visit primary and secondary schools, libraries, museums and other public places, and learn about urban construction and all new things.
5. Understand the child's psychological needs: If the child does not want to stay with his parents, there must be something unspeakable, let him speak out. For example: I may be reluctant to give up my classmates and partners in my hometown, nostalgic for the natural environment of my hometown, fear of being discriminated against and bullied; hard to give up the affection for the elderly, a little disgusted with the narrow space of urban life and different lifestyles.
6. When parents communicate with their children, they can also appropriately state their own reasons and difficulties, so that the children can learn to empathize, and understand their parents from the heart and accept their parents.
Parents have love in their hearts, but don't let love freeze in the silence for years and months, and take the initiative to improve the parent-child relationship, so that family relationships can bloom beautifully in communication and understanding.
of this issue: Yuli spend too
Longquan market conditions for small rural villageDirector of Xuexin Education:
First review: Liu Haifen
Final review: Ye Xiaojun
