01
At the end of last semester, Xiao Zhang was stunned by his unsatisfactory exam results, and after sitting alone for a long time, he even leaned on the window and prepared to jump down. Fortunately, a classmate around saw him and a few classmates dragged him together before he was finally dragged down. At that time, Xiao Zhang had been saying "Forget it, I'm dead, it's over" and so on. Problem analysis of
, who just entered junior high school this year, has a slightly paranoid and rigid personality. He often feels impatient and unwilling to listen to the repetitive content such as the analysis of the test papers in the teacher’s classroom; sometimes he can’t accept the amount of homework assigned by the teacher. I had to finish and was irritable. Be angry with some seemingly unsolvable small problems in life.
02
twin brother, Xiao Ming, has always been better than his younger brother since he was young. The younger brother will run away from eating halfway through the meal. He will leave and go out quietly after eating, and will never be the first to ask not to walk or hug. . Later in school, he must have better grades than his younger brother, and his younger brother must know the skills, and he must also know...
problem analysis
In the competitive relationship, Xiao Ming catered to his parents' requirements by suppressing his own needs, and thus gained the attention and attention of his parents. Certainly, as time passes, we are getting farther and farther away from our true self.
03
Kierkegaard provides a solution: as long as you pick up the courage to face yourself, you can find inner peace and harmony, and don't want to be someone else. When we no longer deny our true self and try to discover and accept our true nature, despair disappears.
He emphasized personal responsibility and the need to discover the true nature of the individual and life goals. This view is regarded as the philosophical beginning of existentialism.
04
What I really need to do is to figure out what I am doing, not what I have to know.
So learn to treat yourself dialectically. If only seeing your own strengths or weaknesses is not comprehensive enough, you should practice looking for the other side of yourself. Then accept your complete self and try to be your true self.
Xiao Ming: "Mom, I ranked in the top 5 again in this exam."
Mom: "Well, how did you do it? With so many subjects, which one do you like best? Why do you like it?"
Implementation plan:
first, be aware of the moments in your life when you show rigidity;
second, deliberately use some measures to modify your own perception, such as speculative training;
third, rationalize your goal setting so that you have Opportunity to have a successful experience to enhance self-confidence.
Xiaoming: "Mom, I ranked in the top 5 again in this exam." Mom: "Well, how did you do it? With so many subjects, which one do you like best? Why do you like it?"
implemented Solution:
first, parents should pay attention to when the younger brother puts forward the needs, and also pay attention to the older brother;
second, guide the children to express their own thoughts, and ask how you are after what the teacher says and what the parents say Think about it;
Thirdly, parents should be more neutral, allow and less comment on children's behavior and thoughts (that is, parents should do "big eyes, big ears, small mouth"), and understand the psychological needs behind the children in order to prescribe the right medicine .
Finally, to be true you need to start from a young age: when you are young, the family allows more tolerance; small things, try and train yourself. As you gain experience, self-confidence will naturally build up.
Author: Huang Yi
Source: Dr. Liu sunshine psychological counseling studio
Editor: Psychological Services Center
Changning Changning Psychological Services Center
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