Maybe what you think is really nagging
I wonder if you have encountered such a situation: the little baby who was stuck by you when he was a child suddenly became a little hedgehog who was unwilling to say more to you. Their daily reply to you is limited to "Yeah, ahh, what did you say? My phone is out of battery". The transformation of the child makes us feel uncomfortable.
When you see this passage from Taiwanese writer Long Yingtai: "Child, I ask you to study hard, not because I want you to compare grades with others, but because I hope you will have the right to choose in the future, choose meaningful and time-consuming work, rather than being forced to make a living. When your work is meaningful in your heart, you have a sense of accomplishment; when your work gives you time and does not deprive your life, you have dignity. A sense of accomplishment and dignity give you happiness." You are deeply concerned and want to share it with him, but he doesn't agree with it at all.
Let’s analyze this passage. The tone of this passage is sincere, but the subtext behind it expresses “better than others.” First, I am different from other parents. What others want is grades, but what I want is the future. Second, you are too stupid and ignorant. You don’t know that working hard now can exchange for a decent life in the future. You don’t know that grades and dignity are linked, so I want to remind you.
As a mother, she regards the common truth known to everyone as her own unique point of view and thinks she is superior, but the "subtext" in it really despises the child's IQ. Although children have no way to argue in terms of reason, based on intuition, children will read out something else, which makes them bored.
Just like "unspoken rules" are often the dark forces that influence the direction of things, "spoken text" is often the silent words that can speak the most. Although silent and difficult to even be aware of, the "subtext" is the part that really affects children.
Life has thousands of details, and there is education in every detail of getting along with children, so we should always pay attention to our "subtext". We must constantly observe our children, reflect on ourselves frequently, and improve ourselves from our perspective. Because "subtext" is often not a result of rational thinking, but a subconscious expression.
After talking to your child, please pay attention to transfer from "What I told you" to "What did the child receive". Please pay attention to your subtext.
