Hello everyone, I am Hu Junli.
A family education entrepreneur who accompanys mothers to raise scientific parenting.
※ In addition to original articles, 3 study notes are selected every day.
Learning notes come from: books, official accounts, Zhihu, Weibo, paid communities, group chats, circle of friends, etc., which do not represent personal opinions, and do not know the original source, so most of them do not indicate where they are excerpted and deleted if they are infringed.
This is the 315th study note: Give your child happiness, enter his world, forget your world, forget your thinking pattern.
is the main text of the study notes.
1, the chaotic logic of parents has ruined their children's childhood
Many parents often have a mysterious and contradictory mentality in "cultivating their children's interests and hobbies".
Most parents at the beginning said at least "having a hobby", "passing time in the future", and "entering yourself in the future", which is a kind of " consumption psychology ", and there is nothing wrong with it.
However, as time and money investment increase, many parents will turn to the "investment psychology".
For example, "Isn't it a waste to spend so much money not practicing?" "Is it worthy of me if I accompany you so much every day without getting any results?" ......
1 In short, it is to see the reward.
However, their children's talent and dedication are not enough to really produce any decent returns.
so they are tug-of-warm in the wave-particle dual-icon psychology of "consumption" and "investment" day after day.
Whether a child can entertain himself in the future is unknown, but under the chaotic logic of his parents, his childhood is over...
I hope that every parent who sees this study note will be a sober parent, and do not use chaotic logic to ruin the child's childhood.
2, don’t talk much
want to have a harmonious relationship. One principle is: Don’t do things, don’t talk much .
The food is not made by you, so don’t say [too salty/too much bones/too old]. You can eat it quietly. At most, I would like to give you a suggestion [Will steaming for three minutes less tender? 】Click to stop.
It is not your turn to take care of your child, so don’t educate others:
Babies cannot eat more than ×× grams of salt every day, children cannot hold them frequently, they will rely on people, etc. You can implement your own philosophy when you take care of yourself.
The child’s homework is not taught by you, so don’t criticize others:
Why are you yelling at the child? If irritability is bad for children, he will become cowardly.
or you can teach it yourself and experience the hardships.
Not talking too much is a virtue.
episode gives others less space to play, observe the atmosphere of giving others a relaxed atmosphere, and others prefer to do things for you.
Not talking too much is also a kind of self-knowledge. I know that some things cannot be accomplished by myself and lack ability, so I will bow my head and know to be humble.
Girls are best at speaking. If they don’t like them, they will [mouth faster than brain] and offend people without knowing them.
And successful women are [ with high self-control and high ]:
Control the desire to preach, control weight, control not to love [people who don’t love you], and restrain themselves in all aspects.
When you restrain yourself, you will have fewer things, your personality charm will become higher, you will be tolerant to others, and your interpersonal relationships will become better and better.
Charming woman is a treasure of words and doesn’t talk too much. It will make you surrounded by noble people and go smoothly.
3, forget about me
You are a very hardworking person, but the child you gave birth to is just very lazy.
Laziness is his habit, you really can't use your hard work habits to oppress his laziness.
You have to understand that he is so lazy.It is really difficult for him to move. He can't control himself, and he is very pitiful and doesn't want to do this, but he can't control himself.
Maybe you used to be like this, or you were like this when you were a child.
But you have transformed, because the living environment and some occasional causes and conditions stimulate you and make you change some of your past inertia.
Your child is very lazy because he has not suffered such hardship, or the cause and condition to stimulate his change has not yet come. Can you understand?
Just like when you see your child eating, the table is full of rice grains that he has dropped, you start scolding him: "How come this happens?
Look at how clean your parents eat, how come you are? I keep telling you, but why are you still so sloppy!"
Do you think about your age?
You have been eating for forty years, but he has been eating for seven or eight years.
Are you really considerate? This is called comparison.
So, If you want to give others happiness and happiness, you must enter his world and forget your world and forget your thinking pattern.
You try to do it in that direction and try to understand the difference between the other person's habits and your habits.
You can put yourself in his heart and understand him, instead of criticizing his heart with your heart. This is acceptance, tolerance and love.
Only in this way can you have some abilities, truly give others happiness and happiness, and you have the ability to educate your children well.
Otherwise your education will be powerless, and your education will only cause your children to lack love.
Learn to think from the perspective of others and be considerate of others. You and the other party will transform.
If you give others happiness, your heart will naturally be happy and you will naturally be happy.
does not require any external conditions to occur before the feeling of happiness will occur.
And others will naturally repay you with happiness, and things that make you happy will happen naturally.
