Recently, I accidentally found a video that made me feel particularly happy with .
A father in Hangzhou quickly became popular online because of his "plagiarism" of his daughter's work. All inventory was cleared in a few days, and sold for 40,000 to 50,000 , and the most expensive painting even sold for a high price of 6,666 yuan.
not only earned enough pocket money, but this father also received invitations from 5 art galleries to invite him to hold an art exhibition. It can be regarded as a gain of fame and fortune.
The reason why these works are loved by everyone and sought after by the market is that in addition to the father's artistic reprocessing, the last hero is his -year-old daughter .
From the video, we can see that the father has not made much changes to his daughter's work. The daughter's casual graffiti has already had her own style. , she uses bold colors, decisive writing, and has a wild imagination.
The two long ears of the red villain in the painting were designed by her daughter. She felt that they were the only prop for the villain to express his emotions. This inspiration and ingenuity are the soul of the work.
Even my father admitted that he couldn't draw in such a painting! He could only perform artistic reprocessing based on his daughter's works.
However, what amazed netizens the most was not the work created by the father and daughter, but the father's wise education method .
When other parents were busy sending their children to learn painting, he and his wife let their daughter create freely. Even if he is a designer, he loves painting since he was a child, will never teach his children!
And, no matter what the daughter is like, he and his wife are the most supportive audiences of their daughter and keep praising her. How much praise is?
They told their daughter since childhood: She is actually a painter . It was just because she was too young that the Academy of Fine Arts did not take her away. When she grows up, she will go to the Academy of Fine Arts.
In the eyes of ordinary parents, this kind of praise is too unrealistic. Is it really good to praise the child like this? One day does the child find out that he is not a painter, so will he be a glass-hearted person?
But think from the perspective of others. If you were praised by your parents like this when you were young, don’t you feel very, very happy?
How many people have been working hard just to be praised by their parents, but they can’t wait. And this girl can experience this kind of happiness every day.
01 The magical effect of praise has actually been proven that
was praised as a painter by his parents since childhood. Isn’t it really useless?
no, this is actually useful. is useful enough to make a child's life!
Psychology calls this " Pychmalion effect ", you can also simply understand it as " What you want to be ": When we expect something to happen, our expectations tend to turn it into reality.
The most famous experiment in this regard is the experiment conducted by psychologist Rosenthal in an elementary school in 1968.
Before the experiment started, Rosenthal gave IQ tests to all the children in this primary school. He told the teacher that this is a "Harvard Resilience Test" that can predict whether students' grades will make outstanding progress next academic year. After the
test was over, Rosenthal gave the head teacher a list of students with the top 20% of the test scores in each class. But in fact, this list is fake, and the top 20% of students were randomly selected.
But when the school year ended and Rosenthal came to school again, the children on the list really became the group of people with the most outstanding progress as expected!
What has inspired children's potential and allowed them to make such great progress?
The answer is the teacher’s expectations of students’ performance.
Because the teacher was influenced by the list, he thought that the group of children would make progress, so he inadvertently gave them additional encouragement and encouragement. This further motivated the children, making them work harder and eventually succeeded in counterattack.
experiment also found that the impact of this expectation is more significant in children in lower grades.In other words, the younger the child, the easier it is to change himself due to the expectations of his parents and teachers.
In fact, in life, every parent is releasing expectations for their children.
However, the father in the video gives his daughter the high expectation of "painter", but more parents project the negative expectation of " You are so stupid, you can't do anything well, you are procrastinating in doing things, and you just don't like to learn ".
02 Your affirmation is worth a thousand gold to children
Children all need recognition , just like flowers need irrigation by rain and shining by sunshine.
We often envy other people's children for being sensible and excellent, but if we ignore them, we will also envy other people's parents.
Swimming World Champion Fu Yuanhui has such a father. Fu Yuanhui once said on the show that her parents encouraged her to do what she liked since she was a child, and kept telling her: you are the best, you are the best, you are a genius!
When I was a child, Fu Yuanhui, who believed in herself as a genius, was ridiculed by her teammates. After Fu's father found out, he told them seriously, "We Fu Yuanhui is really a genius!"
Maybe this is stupid to others, but is worth a thousand gold in the eyes of children. The more difficult it is when
encounters and wants to retreat, only this sentence can support Fu Yuanhui to grit her teeth and survive. Because she is unwilling to let down her parents' trust and she is unwilling to let down her self with unlimited potential in her eyes.
The gap between people is slowly widening in adversity?
The child did not know who he was at first, what he could do, and what kind of person he would become. Because I don’t know it, I can only find the answer from the person they trust most and are closest to, that is, their parents.
Whoever their parents say they are, they will move in that direction and eventually become who they are.
It is precisely for this reason that psychologist Kevin Leman said: has the highest expectations to get the best . You might as well set your child’s goals higher, as your child’s potential may be far beyond your imagination.
" Galaxy Tutorial Class " , the father played by Deng Chao said to his son Ma Fei: "As long as you keep thinking and thinking, you can do everything on this earth well."
So, Ma Fei, who ranked at the bottom of the grade, continued to improve and became the youngest astronaut in China when he grew up.
A boy was expelled from the school for his naughty in the fourth grade. He was expelled from the Boy Scouts at the age of 11 and was expelled from the math class in high school. Only his mother and high school English teacher believed that he would definitely make a name for himself.
, and he really lived up to expectations. When he grew up, he became a doctor of psychology, an expert and speaker in family education. He is the psychologist Kevin Lehman mentioned earlier. success is late but it arrives.
Are you willing to be like them, , become the prophet of your children, , to promise a bright future for your children, and to have a happy life?
03 How to correctly " draw cake " for children?
You may doubt: Just draw a big pie for your child and your child can become . Wouldn’t that be too easy?
is not, this is not easy at all.
First of all, you must really believe in the child . I believe that his future has infinite possibilities, and I will not be easily disappointed in him because of his current performance and the gap between him and others.
Secondly, you must sincerely accept your children. When he performs well, you will naturally praise him sincerely. When he performs poorly, can you still hold back your anger and disappointment? You smile and say to him firmly, "Child, come on, mom, I believe you can do it!"
Finally, you must have a pair of eyes that are good at discovering and use it to find the strengths and talents of your children. There are too many parents who easily think that their children have no advantages and are so ordinary that they cannot be more ordinary. But this is not true.
Positive psychologist Li Waters once mentioned in his book "Odd-to-be-education" that every child has advantages , not a few, but dozens or hundreds.
may be of some kind of expertise, such as exercise, painting, dance, or intelligence, such as strong language ability, good mathematics, or some qualities such as courage, integrity, and warmth.
is just that most of the time, we focus on the shortcomings and mistakes of children, so that turns a blind eye to the advantages of children .
Just like drawing, every child has a stage of loving graffiti, ordinary parents only see random lines and dirty clothes. The father in the
video saw his daughter's precious imagination and creativity, and gave him full protection, appreciation and support, which led to the story behind him.
The ancients said that a drop of water should be repaid with a spring of water. That's not the case for children.
Today, you promise your child that he will repay you with beautiful expectations. In the future, he will definitely repay a brilliant life.
I am Xiaoyang's mother, Fudan master's mother, early education instructor, and author of the parenting book "Understanding Psychology, Parenting is Simple". If you like my articles, follow me.
