We have all been children, and it is only today when we are about to become parents when we grow up that we realize that it is difficult for parents. Only then can we understand the painstaking efforts of parents in the past to teach us carefully and strictly demand us. Compared with some of our peers around us, we can understand better how important family education is to a child. Every time I see some news about my children not caring about their parents or even abuse them, I understand that not everyone knows gratitude and love.
In fact, there is such a living example around me. Aunt Zhang, a client, was a retired employee of a state-owned enterprise. She had a daughter with her husband, named Xiaoli (pseudonym). In that era, only children were very common. The couple raised their daughter with hard work. There was a child who chattered all day long and happily. The couple lived a very comfortable life, and others were envious of them.
As the only child in the family, Xiaoli devotes all her thoughts on weekdays. She is really "will be thrown when holding it in her hands, and afraid of melting when holding it in her mouth." As long as Xiaoli makes a request, both husband and wife will respond. Gradually, Xiaoli grew up and her personality became more and more indulgent. Once the couple did not meet her requirements, they began to get angry and throw things.
Neighbors sometimes can't stand it and start to persuade Aunt Zhang and his wife, but Aunt Zhang thinks that after all, she is only one child, who else can she love if she doesn't love her? And the child is still young after all, so it will be fine when he grows up.
As time flies, Xiaoli has become a graceful girl. She has her own opinions and ideas when doing things, but she cannot listen to the little opinions of her parents. After Xiaoli entered society, more and more problems were exposed.
Aunt Zhang is a straightforward person. She has devoted a lot of enthusiasm and hard work to her daughter. So as her daughter grew up, she became more and more worried about Xiaoli, whether in terms of study, growth or work, which made Xiaoli very bored and felt that she was restricted by her parents everywhere and was very unfree. Once she talked too much, she started to get angry.
Later, Xiaoli talked about her boyfriend and wanted to live with her boyfriend. However, Aunt Zhang felt that girls should take care of themselves before getting married. Xiaoli thought that they were too much controlled and did not want their parents to interfere, which caused a lot of disputes. Her daughter also left, leaving the couple at home.
Later, Aunt Zhang's husband suddenly passed away, which further triggered the conflict between her and Xiaoli. The reason is that after retirement, one fell in love with hiking and drinking tea, and the other fell in love with playing cards and singing. The couple's different lifestyle of passing time also allowed them to go out for fun on their daily lives without affecting each other. But just one day when Aunt Zhang was having a card friend with cards normally, her husband had a sudden heart attack at home and missed the best rescue time because no one was at home.
In this regard, Xiaoli's daughter believes that it is because her mother has taken too much care for her and does not want to stay at home; it is also because her mother goes to play cards every day after she retires and does not accompany her father, and ignores her father's care, which leads to her father's sudden departure, and she is also very resentful to Aunt Zhang. Aunt Zhang suffered from the loss of her husband and the resentment of her daughter. At the same time, the two mothers and daughters usually couldn't say a few words all day long. Aunt Zhang also couldn't say anything about this, and she felt very sad inside.
After this incident, Xiaoli began to move out of her home, leaving Aunt Zhang to live alone. The mother and daughter didn't meet each other a few times a year, which is sad. After Xiaoli got married, she began to move back to the house assigned by Aunt Zhang's unit with her husband and lived with Aunt Zhang. The three of them were under the same roof. They looked up and saw each other every day, so their relationship should be eased. However, Xiaoli's attitude towards Aunt Zhang was still very cold. She didn't eat any of the rice and fruits that Aunt Zhang cooked for her, and would rather buy it to eat it yourself.I have always wanted to act as a harmonic agent in the middle when I treat Aunt Zhang very well, but it has no effect.
At the end, something happened, which made their conflict reach its peak. It turned out that after Xiaoli gave birth to a child, Aunt Zhang thought that it was a family after all, and now Xiaoli has become a mother, so she should be able to understand herself and want to handle the relationship with her daughter well. After all, after my husband left, I lost a lot of fun in life. Now I can help my daughter take care of the children. On the one hand, I can reduce the burden on my daughter, and on the other hand, I can enjoy family happiness.
It was a good wish, but Xiaoli was severely exposed, saying that she didn't need a person who braked all day long and didn't love her husband and despise her daughter to take care of her children. At the same time, it was also planned to send Aunt Zhang to a nursing home to live on the grounds that the family was too small and could not live there. This news made Aunt Zhang feel a bolt from the blue.
After reading this story, it is not difficult for us to see why there is such a big gap between Aunt Zhang and her daughter Xiaoli. The biggest reason is that when they educate their children, they do not know how to communicate with their children and respond to their requests, which leads to their children losing their sense of gratitude. instead only knows how to ask for anything. If they don’t give it, they will feel that their parents owe them.
Whether the child loves you or not, you can see everything from these things of parents. You might as well compare it!
. As a parent, you must let your child feel love, but you must also let her understand that although love does not ask for anything in return, it requires responses to what both parties have worked hard to do. Such love is normal and long-term love.
. In daily communication, do not always communicate with children in the tone of experienced people. Unless it is principled, regarding the issue of right and wrong, we can guide and correct his approach as parents, so that the children's thoughts and practices can be put on the right track. In normal times, we can get along with children as friends, and walk into their hearts, so that children can open their hearts and talk to us.
. When a child encounters difficulties, know how to use the right method to guide him to solve problems, rather than blindly helping and giving, which will help the child develop an independent and sound personality.
. The most important thing is, at any time, do not deny a child's ability, otherwise they will be very inferior.
As a child, there will also be many languages of love. Some will say it directly, some will be very dependent on their parents, some will achieve excellent results, some will help with housework at home, some will unite their younger brothers and sisters, and some will choose to give small gifts to their parents. These small things are hidden in the details. As parents, they can discover and feel them with a beautiful vision.
The old saying goes, "The sheep have the kindness of kneeling down to breastfeed, and the crow has the meaning of feeding back." What's more, it's a human? The child is an angel who falls into the world. How to educate him and make him a warm and close person to his parents actually depends to a large extent on how his parents get along. Create a harmonious and happy family atmosphere, everyone has love, why worry about not having the warmth of the lights of thousands of homes for thousands of years?
