From the moment the child was born, I felt that he was an angel given to me by God, and I must take good care of him.
So, in my daily life, in addition to paying attention to the children's diet, safety and other aspects, I also pay great attention to the children's psychological development. For example, I often praise the children to keep a positive attitude.
In my consciousness, I think my education method is fine. After all, I have achieved dietary nutrition, safety and psychological comfort, etc. Children's childhood is basically spent in happiness, so they should be healthy in body and mind, and they will definitely become very excellent when they grow up.
However, as the child grows older, I seem to find something wrong, and the child's psychological pressure-bearing ability seems to be a bit too poor. For example, when I played chess with my child before, just because I won two games in a row, the child started to cry a little.
- There are also children and other children playing football , because they were kicked two balls by other children, the child started to not want to play anymore, and for several days afterwards, the child was unwilling to play football again .
- The child made a mistake at school and the teacher said a few words, but I didn’t want to go to school the next day and so on.
things like this actually happen a lot in life, both big and small, and this behavior also makes me feel that the child seems a little too "glass-hearted".
Children have low quotient and having a "glass heart" is not a good thing. It has a huge and negative impact on children. It will make children unable to persevere in doing things, dare not step forward when encountering difficulties, and have no awareness of solving problems when encountering problems, and will only keep retreating and escaping.
The child’s reverse quotient is low, and the root cause is basically caused by problems with parents’ education. And our children also became vitiligo because of problems with my education method.
My seemingly comprehensive education method actually has many problems, and these problems often appear in real families. Everyone should be careful.
These things you often do are quietly destroying children's reverse quotient . Unfortunately, many parents have not noticed that
The first thing: praise children is OK, but you should not blindly praise
I often praise children in my life because I think this is to encourage education. But in fact, I have deviated from my understanding of encouraging education.
Compliment does have a positive effect on children's growth, because this is an act of affirming children's achievements, which will give children a sense of honor and let children know their abilities.
However, parents cannot blindly praise in their lives. Only those behaviors that are truly worthy of praise should be praised .
If you blindly praise your child, it will lead to some problems in the child, such as the child will become conceited, become unable to correctly understand himself, become too arrogant, and become worried about gains and losses and cannot withstand any kind of blow. Therefore, when parents educate their children, they must not blindly praise their children like me.
The second thing: Protecting children can be done, but they cannot deprive children of their opportunities to grow
Protecting children's personal safety is what every parent should do and the obligation of every parent. However, this does not mean that parents can deprive their children of their opportunities to grow.
I didn’t have a deep understanding of this before and I protected my children too closely. For example, when a child pours water, I am afraid that the water will spill, so I will not let the child pour water.
The child mopping the floor. I was afraid that the child would slip and hurt me, so I didn’t let the child sit. When the child fell down, I picked him up and coaxed him immediately.
So much so that many of the children's life skills and personal abilities cannot be exercised, and children cannot gain some experience in life. Excessive protection of children will make them unable to receive frustration exercises. The children's resilience will naturally be low, and they may even lose some ability to resist frustration. Therefore, parents can protect their children, but do not deprive them of their children of the opportunity to grow up. Only by letting their children make mistakes within the safe range can they grow up better.
The third thing: It is okay to make your children happy, but you should not often deliberately lose to your children for this
When parents and their children play games, many parents like to "give their children", so do I.
Because I think the child is happy to let the child win.
However, I overlooked one thing, that is, children will always win and will not experience the feeling of losing at all, and they will have no sense of competition and will not know how to compete.
If this continues, the child's ability to resist frustration will naturally be reduced because he has not experienced setbacks. Therefore, it is okay for parents to make their children happy, but they should not lose to their children on purpose. Appropriate "release" can be done, but pay attention to the scale.
The fourth thing: Helping children can be done, but it cannot solve problems on behalf of children
Children may encounter various problems in life. It is natural for parents to help their children.
However, parents cannot completely solve problems on behalf of their children, but need to let their children know the solutions to the problems themselves.
Difficulties are everywhere in life, especially in children's lives. Therefore, parents should pay attention to improving their children's ability to solve difficulties.
And in this regard, I think I'm not doing it well. So, after learning that there was a problem with my education method, I began to find solutions.
Later, I bought a set of "Children's Reverse Trading Picture Books" for my child. First, it is used to make up for my wrong education of my children, and second, it is to strengthen the cultivation of children's ability to deal with problems and improve their children's reverse Trading.
This set of picture books is specifically for children aged 2-8 , and is a professional reference book for training rebellion. By reading picture books, children can fully understand some frustration scenes that often occur in life, and the book also responds to these scenes, which has an irreplaceable effect on improving children's resentment quotient.
This set of picture books eliminates preaching education methods, uses stories that children like and are easy to accept, allowing children to feel the impact of different difficulties and difficulties in an immersive way .
At the same time, it will also follow the plot in the book to solve difficulties step by step, so that children can master the methods to overcome difficulties, improve their sense of frustration, and improve their children's resilience.
For example, a book tells the story of children's timidity. The picture book uses the events that often occur around children as a case. guides children how to solve problems step by step. In addition, it also designed a simulation scenario exercise so that parents and children can train at home. ensure that the next time the child encounters similar problems, can adapt freely.
Our child was very timid before. After reading this set of books, he knew that if he wanted to become a brave person, he had to actively exercise, learn to communicate with others, and learn various cultural knowledge, etc.
There is another volume that says "It's OK to fail". After the child reads the picture book, the child has slowly faded his "glass heart" and ushered in a stronger heart.
For example, now my child plays chess with me, and if he loses, he won’t cry at all, but will take it more seriously and strive to win me next time.
There are a total of 2 volumes . The themes are 12 classic scenes common in life. They have a strong sense of substitution and the personal test effect is very good. My child is an example. Interested parents can take it home.
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