About all parents in the world have a desire to become a dragon and a daughter and a phoenix, and they wish to devote their whole life to cultivating and educating their children. However, many people have found that many children not only fail to become what their parents expect, but instead learn a lot of their parents' shortcomings.
The shortcomings of children and parents are becoming more and more like
For example, some parents find that their children's habits and thinking are becoming more and more similar to their own. A netizen said that they do not pay much attention to the cleaning and tidying of items at home, and like to take off the door when entering the door. I kicked my shoes off and I liked to throw my clothes off and my pants off directly onto the sofa.
Once she accidentally observed that her child had learned to throw things around for some reason, and the place where she was thrown around was exactly the same as herself! In order to confirm whether this was accidental, she later deliberately observed several times and confirmed that her child had learned the bad habit of throwing things by herself.
For example, some children find that their attitude towards people and their own personality are becoming more and more similar to their fathers. This netizen said that his father is a person with a relatively impatient personality and a relatively careless work. Although his parents often teach him to be gentle and careful in his life, in fact, as he grows up, he discovers that he is a human being after experiencing more things as he grows up. The style of dealing with the world is very similar to that of my father.
Many parents and children can’t help but wonder after discovering this phenomenon. What they teach their children is good, but how do they learn about their shortcomings? Even though I clearly know what my parents’ shortcomings are, why did it finally replicate them on me?
"The one who is close to the red and the one who is close to the ink is black"
On the one hand, it is said that parents are the best teachers for their children. During the growth process, most of the time they are influenced by the family atmosphere and parents.
The influence of being influenced by the eyes is subtle and a psychological suggestion. It is said that water dripping through the stone. No matter how good the concept is, parents instill in their children 100 times, they are not as good as what children learn from their parents’ daily behavioral habits.
Children have very strong imitation ability. At the age when they are not yet able to distinguish right from wrong, their parents are the whole world to them, so their words and deeds have become the objects of their learning and imitation.
. People are always prone to expose bad habits in front of their closest people. They have full trust in their children and have no sense of avoidance in their lives, because in their eyes, children do not understand anything, and they will not think that children will imitate them. The shortcomings and bad habits you have exposed.
On the other hand, many parents are also the first time they have become parents and do not know how to educate their children and get along with them. Some parents regard their children as their accessories, so they do the most to control their children.
There is nothing wrong with parents educating their children, but in this process, they lack communication with their children, and put their hopes on their children, hoping that their children will become what they think in their hearts. They don't ask their children about their wishes to learn things they are not good at and don't like.
Every day, many children become rebellious and hate their parents under such tough control. If a person begins to become bored with his parents who are together day and night, he will not see any of their advantages, but only see their shortcomings, and even deliberately imitate them because of reversal.
Therefore, in the process of children's growth, the family atmosphere has a great impact on children, and a benign parent-child relationship is the key factor in shaping children's good personality.
How should parents guide their children
First of all, the simplest and crude method is to teach by words and deeds, set an example for their children with their own practical actions, so that their children can see the good side of their parents, or the side they want to give to their children.
If you want to tell your child to develop the habit of being clean, then in your daily life, you should take care of how to clean up and organize your belongings for your child; if you want to educate your child to be a gentle person, then you should speak softly in front of your child. Talking about reasoning, you must be gentle in dealing with people.
Secondly, it is necessary to give children more encouragement in daily life and study. on the one hand can enhance children's confidence in constantly trying and find self-consistent ways to deal with things through trying; on the other hand, it can maintain a good parent-child relationship. Even if you suffer a loss, you are not afraid of not having the courage to start over, and you will feel that your parents are you. The greatest sense of security.
Finally, it is necessary to give children more space for themselves, cultivate their independent personality, and get along with them like friends. Although parents need to be responsible for their children's growth and need correct teaching, this does not mean that they should blindly control their children. The best way is to guide them.
When a child wants to do something, parents can give him appropriate space to judge how to do it, and then communicate with the child. If his idea is correct, he can encourage him to be confident and bold. Do it; if his ideas are not mature or wrong enough, he can also use reasoning and analytical methods to guide him to think in the right direction.
Such getting along will not only allow children to slowly have the ability to think and judge independently, but will also make them feel respectful, and may even make them feel respectful to parents who guide themselves to reason with themselves.
In fact, the development of a family is just the process of I accompanying you to grow up and you accompany me to grow old. It is not only that parents have the responsibility to educate their children when they are young, but also the responsibility to guide their parents when their children have their own thinking ability.
Learn how to get along with parents
Although parents are the ones who gave birth to us, no one is perfect, and parents will also have their own shortcomings. It is often difficult for outsiders to speak in person and only know how to speak in person. But children are the people most intimate and trustworthy of parents. When we see their parents’ shortcomings, we can actually point them out and communicate and discuss them.
In fact, parents often listen to their children's opinions, so they are more likely to accept and improve their shortcomings of their children's reasonableness but their shortcomings.
In addition to this, we should also maintain our own thoughts and have our own thinking ability for our parents’ teachings and speeches. Even if something taught by parents since childhood, if you think something is wrong after thinking about it when you grow up, you should correct it in time. Learn the good things about them and abandon their shortcomings.
Any good relationship is achieved by each other. Sometimes you might as well calm down and get along with them, and you will find that in this world, the person who looks the most like us is our parents, and we can best go from each other to another. Own.
Author/Lala Proofreader: Chuanchuan
