Hello everyone, I am Dou Ma.
From the moment I got pregnant, I felt lucky that I was pregnant with an angel baby. The entire pregnancy didn’t bother me much, I didn’t vomit once, and I didn’t have any back pain. I spent it smoothly.
My daughter has been very well-behaved and not very troublesome for a long time after she was born. I thought this was her natural personality and we would always get along so well.
However, when my daughter was almost two years old, her personality seemed to have changed in a short period of time. She was particularly prone to getting anxious and crying, and she always said no to me.
Could it be that the terrible two years old and the troublesome three years old are really coming? I didn't know how to deal with it for a while. Later, I talked with some childcare practitioners, read some books on children's psychology, and slowly found some solutions to the problem.
I used to be able to play calmly for a long time, but now I get anxious while playing.
My daughter was a relatively quiet child before she was two years old. As long as she is not disturbed, she can play calmly for a long time and is more focused. And after playing with a toy, he will put it away by himself. After
turned two years old, I found that she often became anxious while playing, and would even push the toys on the table to the floor.
Once I was doing laundry and my daughter suddenly started crying in the living room. When I went out to see her, my daughter broke the building blocks in her hand and shouted, "If you don't obey me, I won't play with you anymore." After saying that, he threw the blocks to the ground.
I knelt down and hugged my daughter, gently caressed her back, and asked: "Can you tell mom what happened?"
My daughter said with a cry: "I want to make a train, but the building blocks won't listen to me. "
It turns out that she was anxious because she encountered difficulties during the game and could not meet her expectations.
After knowing the reason, I said: "It doesn't matter. The fun of playing with building blocks is that they can keep changing in our hands. If you really want to set up the train, we can work together, okay?"
My daughter's mood slowly calmed down and she agreed. took my suggestion.
In fact, as children grow up, they gradually gain self-awareness. They want to do things by themselves and hope that they are great.
Therefore, when encountering difficulties and not knowing how to solve them, it is easy to become irritable, anxious, or even lose your temper.
As parents, we should understand and accept our children's tempers, and then patiently guide them to help them achieve the small goals they want to achieve.
In this way, children's hands-on ability will continue to improve, their self-confidence will be satisfied and improved, and slowly they will be able to solve more and more problems by themselves.
The previously obedient baby suddenly became disobedient and always said "no"
Before, my daughter was very obedient and did not refute my requests very much.
Recently, she always likes to say no, and often does the opposite to me. Maybe this is the legendary rebellion.
I want her to wash up and go to bed quickly, but she insists on playing for a while longer. And I found that the more I pushed her to do something, the more procrastinating she became.
Later, I changed my approach.
For example, it’s time for her to wash her face and brush her teeth. I put her in front of the sink and said to her: "You wash your face and brush your teeth, and I'll make the bed. Let's see who of us finishes first."
Then I walked away and stopped standing in front of her.
Compared with the previous urging her, she is more willing to finish it by herself, and every time she will happily run to me and say: "Mom, look, I have finished washing."
When the child says no to us, We have to understand the child's intentions. Don’t ignore your children’s ideas just because you think they are young.
In addition, if direct guidance from the front does not work well, you can also try the opposite approach. It may also achieve unexpected results.
The previously docile and well-behaved child has become very soft-spoken and likes to fight over
Before, my daughter played with her friends in the community. Most of the time, the situation was relatively harmonious, with no fighting or fighting, and few conflicts.
Recently I have noticed that my daughter is firmly expressing her different ideas more and more times.
For example, one time we went downstairs to play. Several older children were playing games together, and my daughter wanted to participate. But an older child said: "You are too young to play with us."
My daughter was unhappy after hearing this, and said loudly: "I am not young, you can play with us!" And her expression was very serious at that time, even a little Angry.
Seeing my daughter's appearance, I was a little embarrassed at first, but I quickly adjusted my mentality and said, "You can take your ball and ask everyone if they want to join you."
Then, the older ones The child soon started chasing and playing with his daughter and had a great time.
Sometimes, my daughter and her children would race and run together. When they got to the finish line, the two children would fight over who was first. Those who couldn't fight started crying loudly.
When children begin to have the concept of winning or losing in their minds, we should respect their desire to win, but we should also provide timely guidance. Let children experience more the fun of the competition process and not be too obsessed with winning or losing.
Some time ago, my daughter’s kindergarten organized a “self-care ability competition”. When I practiced with my children at home, I clearly felt that she was eager to win.
I am worried that if my daughter is not the fastest in kindergarten, she will be sad and anxious. So, I said to my daughter: "If you are faster than your mother, your mother will applaud you. So if your mother is faster than you, will you also applaud your mother?"
In subsequent simulation exercises, I sometimes deliberately outpaced my daughter. Slowly, let her experience the joy of success; sometimes go faster than her, so that she can learn to applaud others.
Later, after the school activities, I went to the teacher alone to find out how my daughter was doing. The teacher said her performance was great.
They are becoming more and more disgusted with forced orders, and even begin to take rebellious behaviors.
Many parents like to use forced orders to ask their children, and they hope that their children can execute them immediately. This is inevitably a bit harsh for a two or three-year-old child.
One day I had to work overtime for a long time at night, so I asked my husband to take care of the children and go to bed first. But when I got home, my daughter was crying loudly and still trying to grab something in her father's hand.
When I asked, it turned out that the father had just shown his daughter an animation on his mobile phone, and when he saw that it was bedtime, he took the mobile phone away. But the daughter obviously hasn't seen enough, and she can't accept the father's behavior of taking away the phone. So the two got into a stalemate.
I understood the reason, took the phone from my husband, and said to my daughter: "You can watch the animation, but we have to agree on a time first. We set an alarm for 2 minutes. When the alarm goes off, we have to turn off the phone." , is that okay?”
’s daughter agreed painfully.
My husband said that I was pampering my children. I said, "You showed her the mobile phone and then took it away without explanation. Do you think the focus now is on the mobile phone? You didn't set a rule for her to follow."
Later, I taught my daughter how to use the mobile phone at home. Xiaoai speaker set alarm clock. Whenever she needs to establish a sense of time, let her set her own alarm clock, and then guide her to abide by it as much as possible.
Children aged two to three have actually gradually developed a sense of rules. They just need the patient guidance of our parents. More importantly, we must set an example, jointly formulate and abide by the rules.
Looking at the surface, what is scary and troublesome are the various problems that arise when children are 2-3 years old. If we as parents don’t make adjustments and changes, our children will become unreasonable in our eyes.
In fact, the scary thing is not the children, but us who lack patience. As long as we find the right method and understand and feel the child's heart attentively, we can help the child go through every growth period smoothly.
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