The way parents raise their children is a very important manifestation of delayed gratification.
01
For example, if parents like to hit or yell at their children, why? A parent who beats or yells at his or her children is a parent who does not know how to delay gratification.
He hopes for immediate results. He hopes that I will shout and you will be fine immediately. But in fact, shouting is the worst method.
A patient parent can accompany his child to face difficulties and experience the pain of his child's childhood.
If a child can be accompanied by his parents to face various difficulties and pains when he is young, he will feel that these things are bearable.
On the other hand, if a child encounters a mistake, encounters a dilemma, or encounters difficulties when he is a child, his parents will always use yelling and domestic violence to try to take this matter to the parents' own responsibility. If separated, if the parents have not learned to delay gratification, the child will not be able to do so when he grows up.
02
Why many people have very poor ability to delay gratification? This actually comes from their parents’ lack of self-discipline. When parents are not self-disciplined, the child will not be able to get enough love and care, so the child will ignore his own value. .
Why do some people like to waste time? Wasting time means thinking that my time is of little value.
So during this period of time, it was good to check WeChat. I just kept scrolling on the sofa and read all kinds of boring jokes. In fact, even if you don’t make money, it’s good to learn something to make yourself better, right? just kept scrolling there. What strange thing happened in this family? There was some particularly humorous little joke there, and then kept repeating those vulgar, vulgar and even harmful things. Why?
Because he does not think his life is valuable, and this sense of value comes from the love and care of his parents when he was a child.
If parents have enough patience, can delay gratification, and can give things like love and care to their children, then the children will be able to feel their own value. If the child feels his own value, he will not waste time easily. , Only then can he be able to face suffering, and he can also delay gratification.
03
Delayed gratification is the starting point of self-discipline. If a person cannot delay gratification, he will even have problems when he grows up. He will pretend not to see it and wait for the problem to go away.
Because he thinks that as long as you ignore him, he will get better gradually. Think about it, how many people in our lives have this idea. If we don’t solve the difficulty when it is difficult, we just expect the difficulty to disappear on its own. This is all It's because we haven't learned to delay gratification and are unwilling to face difficult things.
So the first principle of self-discipline is to delay gratification.
04
Why do we say that academic performance is very important for a child in a sense? It does not depend on the fact that only good academic performance will have opportunities, but that a child can be patient and learn this course well. This is delayed gratification. A kind of sensory ability.
As for those children who cannot sit down to study, they want to play every minute and want to go to the most enjoyable part. Therefore, they always go around difficulties in their lives and avoid them when there are difficulties.
Children's learning is just like an adult's work. It is equivalent to a kind of practice and exercise in life. It is not limited to working to make money and studying to get high scores. The ultimate goal is to make us a better person in the process. people, feel more possible happiness.
Self-discipline is a road less traveled, and it is also a road to happiness. More and more people are willing to take this road.
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