Time is always like this, it always flies by without us realizing it. The wrinkles in the corners of the eyes and the white hair on the temples remind us that it is the end of the year and the beginning of the new year. It is funny to say that I still remember that last year I made many "brilliant" plans ambitiously, but on the last day of 2022, there are only Of course, the influence of the general environment is undoubtedly the influence of the general environment, but what defeats me is more of my own laziness and depravity. Under the premise of such psychological disgust, I once again picked up this "The Great Me - The Psychology of Self-Development" by teacher Chen Haixian.
I haven’t seen him for several months. When I read this book, I couldn’t help but sigh again at Teacher Chen Haixian’s thorough and impressive observation of human nature. Today I want to briefly share with you the relevant chapters about “change” in the book.
The prerequisite for change is to make different choices in real life, but the problem is that many times, we always subconsciously tell ourselves "I have no choice." The book says: "When you tell yourself no, you have already made a choice; when you stay in a company that can only meet food and clothing and no future, you have already made a choice; when you use procrastination to avoid work pressure When you do, you also make a choice. Changing is a choice, and not changing is also a choice. All the excuses you make for not changing, such as no money, no time, too much trouble, no need... are all your choices. Even if you tell yourself "I have no choice", it is also your choice. "
This is a very heart-breaking passage. What is the reason why we "choose" like this?
Teacher Chen said: "There are no more than two reasons. First, I mistakenly believe that only when I make a choice according to the ideal situation, can I have a choice; if the option is not good enough, then there is no choice. Second, I am unwilling to take responsibility for myself."
无码There is no doubt that the ideal in the mind is an analgesic to treat the setbacks in life. We do not want to give it up easily. Therefore, when many people have no choice, they actually say "this is not the choice I want." But in fact, this is already a choice. You choose to obey the ideal in the mind instead of looking for a way out in the current reality.
Choice means change, instability and uncertainty. We choose to succumb to the stability of real life, so that our inner guilt will be much smaller. Then we will continue to convince ourselves that not changing is actually a choice made by "I" in order to be responsible for myself.
Change requires great courage. Strange people, strange environment, everything is so scary, but if you don't change, blindly indulging in the stability of reality is also scary. Life is so tangled. At the end of the
article, Teacher Chen listed a question about self-development. I have excerpted it below to encourage all struggling stars who are eager to make changes.
Review a difficult situation you are currently experiencing or have experienced before, such as doing a job you don't like, complimenting someone you don't like, or accepting a request that you really want to refuse against your will. Then think:
What are your options? What choices did you make?
What do you gain by making this choice? What was avoided?
After you made a certain choice, have you ever thought, "Did I have no choice? Why?
