Douban has a group specially established for people with social fears. Some people are looking for close friends in it, some people are asking how to deal with social fears in work exchanges, and some people are talking about the troubles caused by social fears in it. There is no doubt that people are social animals, and it is difficult to survive without the group. However, if you are in a group, you will inevitably communicate and deal with others. Therefore, how "social phobia" should deal with the pressure brought by social interaction has become an unsolved problem for young people today.
Lynn Henderson mentioned in a book on CBT treatment and social skills training: Extreme shyness and social anxiety are mainly manifested by excessive attention to negative evaluations from the outside world, and withdrawal and avoidance behaviors in social situations. People with social anxiety have some common characteristics :
1, low self-esteem
Most socially anxious people are dissatisfied with themselves. Their sense of self-worth is low , not confident , and their self-evaluation tends to be negative. For example, when communicating with others, they will be incoherent, worry about making mistakes when speaking, and think that they are not convincing; they view problems negatively, often ignore their own advantages and dwell on their shortcomings.
2. The inner experience of fear and nervousness experienced by people with please-pleaser personality
when communicating with others is more due to worries about other people's evaluation . They will increase their confidence by gaining recognition from others. When in the visual center, they will worry about others giving them negative comments .
3. Cognitive error
Cognitive bias refers to the phenomenon in which when people perceive themselves, others or the external environment , the perception results are often distorted due to their own or situational reasons. If you look at yourself from the perspective of sociophobic people, will see more of their own shortcomings, and they will be nervous because of their small mistakes. However, if you look at sociophobic people from a bystander's perspective, you will notice the advantages and disadvantages of sociophobic people, and will not care too much about other people's small mistakes .
There may be the following reasons for these problems in people with sociophobia: the experience of being interrupted when speaking in interpersonal interactions, experiencing some unbearable major life events, individual personality traits, and establishing an insecure attachment relationship with parents in childhood, etc.
In modern society, information is shared rapidly and in a wider scope, and people's explanations of "social terrorism" sometimes become narrower and more singular. People use the term "social phobia" more often to describe themselves. They are unwilling to socialize, refuse to deal with complex interpersonal relationships, reduce contact with others, and avoid meeting people. They attach great importance to their personal space and not to be disturbed. In fact, it would be more appropriate to use the term "social anxiety" to describe this situation. They do not have any obstacles and are able to handle interpersonal relationships well, but they are just tired of handling these relationships and refuse to socialize. Philip Zimbardo once described the current social situation like this: With the frequent emergence of social isolation and social indifference, the virtual network world continues to squeeze the living space of real life and real interactions, and geographical spatial migration becomes more and more frequent, we find that it has become very difficult to establish strong social relationships and weave our own social networks as before..
"Social fear" has indeed brought some adverse effects to our lives , how to communicate with others? How does solve social problems ? How does get along with the world ? They are all distress signals sent by social terrorists. Fortunately, most of the "social fears" in are that can be cured by relying on their own strength!
First of all, you can break the self-isolation state with , try to rebuild by yourself, and try to take the first step in social interaction.Then, enhance your self-confidence , stop some bad imaginations about yourself, and don't completely deny yourself just because of a word or thing. Then, accumulate positive experiences and transform these experiences into your own psychological resources . In addition, you also need to accept the fact that you may not be good at talking. Some people are naturally sociable and can handle any situation with ease; some people are not sociable and are silent and reserved. Therefore, you don’t have to worry about . If you want to be more comfortable in social situations, then try to find the secret to building a good social network from books or life.
If you have great troubles due to social interaction, such as flushed face, sweating and trembling and other severe autonomic nervous system reactions during social interaction, it means that this is already an extremely serious life problem, please don’t forget to seek help from a psychological counselor. If you like the current " society is afraid of " status, then you don't have to care too much about other people's opinions, just enjoy life!
Reference:
Philip Zimbardo "Shyness and Social Anxiety Disorder-CBT Treatment and Social Skills Training"
Well, that’s it for today. If you want to know more about psychology, you can try to read more relevant information, or you can try to take a basic training course for psychological counselors to learn some systematic psychological knowledge.
Sanjunyuan, gain insight into you, me and him! Learn a little bit about psychology every day to help you understand yourself better!
