article | Chen Xi (author of Rich Book)
psychologist James , once made a bet with his good friend Carlson.
James said: "I will definitely let you raise a bird soon."
Carlson disagreed and retorted: "I don't believe it! Because I have never thought about raising a bird."
A few days later, James gave Carlson a beautiful birdcage as a birthday gift.
From then on, whenever a customer saw this birdcage, they would ask him: "Professor, is the bird you raised dead?"
Carlson had to explain over and over again that he had never raised a bird at all.
However, no one who heard this answer seemed to believe it. In desperation, Carlson had no choice but to buy a bird.
James' "birdcage effect" worked.
In daily life, such "birdcages" are everywhere.
We are imprisoned by external substances, so we live a physically and mentally exhausted life.
Instead of doing this, it is better to give up these things bravely, so that your life will be bright and clear.
We are always influenced by the outside world
to make decisions that are not necessary
I have heard this sentence: "Living with the herd is a large-scale prisoner's dilemma."
People without independent thinking are like confused prisoners, following the pace of others and never finding the real exit at any time.
In life, such situations are not uncommon.
You have never grown flowers, so in order to make the vase sent by your friend work, you went to the flower shop to carefully select a large bouquet of flowers;
For a pair of rarely worn shoes at home, you had to buy more clothes and bags to match them;
In a restaurant, the merchant gave you a few coupons. You will definitely choose this restaurant first the next time you dine, because you think it would be a pity if the coupons expired;
When you order takeout, you obviously only want to eat fried rice, but because of the discount event, you buy a bunch of side dishes that you don't like much in order to make up the order.
Life has changed as we go.
Yishu wrote a sentence in "Indian Ink" that is worth pondering:
" I carried a bag and picked it up as I walked. I picked up countless things I didn't want along the way. When I met what I really wanted, the bag was already full. "
Invisibly, we are always pushed by inertial thinking and herd mentality. Because of a point forced in by the outside world, it fills the entire surface and makes a deformed choice.
Gradually, our lives are alienated, exhausted, and burdened.
What’s worse is that we no longer have the strength to meet the true desires of our hearts.
It is better to live in your own heart than to live in the eyes of others.
Only by following your heart and clarifying your true needs can your life become enlightened.
Give up unnecessary restraints
In order not to be burdened by foreign objects
Norishi Sasaki, the author of the best-selling book "I Decided to Live Simple", lived a life of addiction to shopping before the age of 35.
At that time, he lived in a small room full of clutter, constantly squandering and filling things, so that his life became more and more difficult.
He has no goal in life. He drinks to relieve his sorrows all day long, turning his life into a puddle of mud.
Later, an accidental trip to Croatia made him gradually change.
He was trapped in a hotel because of the rain. The simple, empty room was somewhat Zen-like, which actually allowed him to find his soul's destination.
Since then, he began to get rid of redundant and useless things.
There is only one set of tableware in the kitchen, and there are only simple and necessary toiletries in the bathroom. The four-piece set that is always around is a wallet, watch, keys, and glasses.
In addition, he also gave away the TV in the living room, freeing up a spacious space for reading and exercising.
A few years later, he wrote a book about his experience called "I Decided to Live Simple". The book
has been sought after by many readers, and he has transformed from an unknown ordinary person into a best-selling author.
As stated in the documentary " Minimalism ":
"Items must serve one's life ideals, rather than changing one's life ideals for the sake of items."
In psychology, there is a concept called " threshold ".
When the desire is higher, people's threshold will also increase, and the happiness brought by the same thing will show a decreasing trend.
Desires are endless, but human abilities have peaks.
If you don’t control your greed, in the long run, you will be the only one who is brought down.
A good life is never made up of material things.
No matter how beautiful the clothes are, they only serve to keep you warm and comfortable; no matter how expensive the mobile phone is, it only has a few commonly used functions.
Only by giving up unnecessary constraints and not being burdened by external things can you have a life without limits.
Shield the discordant voices
Only in this way can we not be disturbed by others
Many times, what can defeat us is not the thing itself, but the discordant voices swept in from the outside world.
Only by shielding these noises can we not be disturbed and make our own choices.
netizen @小汉 shared such a story.
There is a pedicure shop downstairs, and the business is very prosperous.
The owner and employees of this store are all members of the same family. Many people are puzzled by this, "Why don't the parents of this store let their children find other jobs? What can they do if they hold other people's feet all day long?"
He also went to have his feet repaired several times. After learning more about the situation, he learned that the reason for the good business of the store is that their service is particularly good.
Even if the store has been moved once, it will not affect the old customers who come here to visit.
And everyone in the store is very enthusiastic about customers. They work seriously, from foot soaking to massage to pedicure, every process is never done perfunctorily.
Xiao Han once asked the owner's daughter: "Are you tired of washing and pedicuring other people's feet every day?"
The girl said: "The wind doesn't blow here and the rain doesn't shine. The family can take care of each other together and take care of the children, so how can it be annoying and tiring?"
A job that is unbearable in the eyes of others, in the girl's eyes, is the best solution.
If you observe carefully, you will find that our ears are filled with too many other people's voices:
"When you graduate from college, you should take the civil service exam. How risky is it to start a business..."
"Children must be taken care of from an early age, and they cannot listen to happy education..."
"Married women should focus more on their families..."
Once we are affected by external voices, our own rhythm will be disrupted and it is easy to go off track.
Yang Jiang once said: "The world is your own and has nothing to do with others."
Don't use other people's brains to think about your own life.
Block out the discordant voices and tune your life to your own channel, only then can you live in true freedom.
Don’t let your life
lose to the birdcage effect
Zhou Guoping once wrote in "Life is Not Competitive":
"People cannot control their own destiny, but they can control their attitude towards destiny."
Faced with the "cage" given to us in life, we can use a proactive attitude to form a special medicine to counter it.
abandon the shackles of complexity and embrace minimalism, and life will not be so burdensome;
shield the harsh voices and embrace liberalism, and life will not be so tired.
For the rest of my life, I hope you and I can be uncompromising in life, not casual about life, and live our own wonderful lives.
Introduction to the author : Chen Xi, the author of Fu Shu, can still endure the intolerance of others, but cannot yet achieve what others cannot do. Trying to catch a glimpse of the sunshine in the gap between these two lines , this article: Fu Shu, the copyright of this article belongs to Fu Shu, unauthorized reproduction is not allowed, infringement will be prosecuted
