1. Not meeting actual expectations is the main source of your own pressure
Children are under great stress, anxious, depressed, and depressed. It has already shown that doing this has touched their own ceiling. Growth needs to accumulate slowly to form quantitative change, and finally to form qualitative change. What should I do if the
problem cannot be solved? It is easy for students to enter a stubborn state - I can definitely solve this problem, otherwise I can't do it. Children's world is naive, which means they are very immature. They think that all problems and challenges can be solved through hard work, but they don't know that there are too many problems in this world that they cannot solve. There are too few problems that can be solved in this world. Even college teachers, even saints, they cannot solve some problems in elementary schools.
When no one tells them that this is a common phenomenon, students are easily trapped in a contradictory state of self-affirmation and self-negation. At the end, there are many unsolvable problems accumulated, and this is far from your own requirements. Because you cannot form your own expectations, you will eventually form your own lost mentality, causing you to be too stressed.
When you attach unrealistic expectations to yourself, being unable to meet expectations will lead to your loss. When comparing with others, you form self-pressure, further develop and form depression, and when both your mind and your body cannot regulate this pressure in the end, it leads to depression.
Some scholars have studied the situation of depression and suicide and said that our children’s psychological fragility is related to their weak ability to solve problems.
If the child cannot complete certain challenges and cannot solve certain problems by himself, as a subject, he should know where his limit is, rather than blindly giving himself too big or too high expectations. When facing challenges, we should gradually increase the challenges to certain things or problems in a tentative way and step by step.
No one can escape adults during infancy because this expectation is unrealistic. Children with such expectations not only harm their physical and mental health, but also are not beneficial to their own growth but are harmful to themselves. Of course, when you encounter a problem that cannot be solved no matter how hard you try, or you overcome this challenge, your child must learn to let him go. After all, the so-called victory does not actually have any so-called substantial value, and being able to protect his body is the first priority.
2. A child’s self-liberation is the grief of his parents
On November 25, 2022, in Huaian, Jiangsu, a first-year high school student fell from a building and died in school. The parents were heartbroken and said they wanted to pick up their children home.
Now, children are under great pressure to study in high school, so they need to pay more attention to whether their children are under great psychological pressure, anxiety or depression. How should we help children overcome psychological depression or depression? Let children grow up in challenges, thus avoiding their self-giving and thus moving into irreversible situations.
Of course, children need to be taught to solve problems in the right way and face setbacks directly, transform the setbacks brought by problems into opportunities to discover self-problems and improve themselves, so that children can learn to face challenges without fear of challenges, and not to use death to solve problems.
3. Children's view of life and emotional education are worth our deep thought
A child, a life, people say that life is limited, and it is difficult to survive forever. Life is actually precious, but the subject has collapsed. They can all lose all their thoughts about life and are not afraid of death. There is no hesitation to treat death like this, and it is so resolute that it is puzzled. We can only ask the living, that we are not afraid of death, so what are we afraid of life?
Children's treatment of life is related to their cognition. Their cognition is closely related to their own emotions. When emotions are the dominant ones, then the child has lost his mind to reason.
We have seen many cases where children quarrel with their parents, and the children are so angry that they jump into the river to vent their emotions and fight back against their parents.The parents didn't have time to react that their children had already flew out of the car and jumped into the river.
Scenarios like this are children's problems and parents' problems.
Children are in adolescence, and their handling of things is based on emotions as the basis of their behavior, and even emotions are the dominant behavior. Therefore, it is actually very easy to educate children. Just one need to be guided by one. It is super invincible to use a big move, praise and encouragement. If he fails to do things, he will tell him what he has gained from doing things, what needs to be paid attention to, and how to do it next time he can do it better.
For children's life education, we should focus on frustration education and gratitude education. We should let children know that their parents love them from an early age. They need to be healthy so that their parents will be happy. Let children know that they are loved and do not use harm to their bodies or lives to solve problems.
Especially when you are ignorant, some children use their own way to make their parents compromise. This is a problem that must be resolved. When children are young, they will use extreme behaviors to make their parents compromise, and when they grow up, they will use more extreme and radical methods to make their parents repent. When I was young, I had to eliminate children's extreme behavior at the beginning. What are the good ways, guidance methods, and the feedback mechanism for children's correct behavior. At the beginning, you can ask what you want your parents to help you? Why are you angry? Do you think what your parents do makes you unhappy? This kind of guided inquiry allows children to express their problems in words, and then we inform them that they cannot do this before satisfying their ideas. In this way, parents will not only not help them, but will also give them certain punishments. The punishment is that you hit yourself just now, and it is wrong to hit yourself. Dad should give you one less candy you want and hit your hands. You admit that you are wrong now, and your father will give you one more candy when it turns out to be the same. This establishes a positive feedback mechanism. Reduce harm to children.
In terms of education on the view of life of growing up children, first, understand, understand children's difficulties, help them solve problems, guide children positively, affirm children, rather than simply criticize them, and do not understand the actual situation of children. Second. Solve children’s difficulties and let them know that their parents love them. Third, parents are the first teacher, telling their parents that life is precious, and parents raise them in everything, letting their children know that it is not easy to raise them, letting their children know what their parents have done when they were young, how parents love themselves when they see their children get sick, etc., step by step, letting their children know that their parents love them, and they must also know that they cannot lack this love. Consolidate the child’s feeling of gratitude to his parents from an early age, and loving his own life is the emotional connection of gratitude to his parents, and consolidate the child’s sense of cherishing life.
4. guided education to reduce children's stress, avoid the formation of depression
As parents, when we cannot provide guidance in their studies, what we need to do is to guide children not to put too much pressure on themselves. Parents do not put pressure on them, help children solve stress together, and avoid sliding from stress into anxiety to depression disease state.
is more concerned when children are studying, and they see that their children have been studying for more than a few hours. Parents take the initiative to hand over a cup of hot sugar water or dessert to divert the child's attention.
let the child walk out of the room and have a rest in the hall. Parents must take the initiative to ask their children whether they have encountered difficulties in their studies and let their children actively speak out the difficulties and challenges. Understand that children cannot solve their learning difficulties and cause psychological frustration. Parents should not speak at this time and need to listen patiently.
During this period, we need to guide the child to guide what he can do in his studies, affirm the progress he has made, encourage the child to find out the problems he cannot solve, let him clarify his own ideas, and at which step he cannot make progress. After giving himself a certain amount of time, let him see the standard answers.Let them understand where the knowledge points in learning are and where the difficulties are caused, collect the difficulties that cannot be broken through, and ask the teacher for advice when they are in school.
provides solutions and ways to encounter difficulties, and ways are very important. One person will definitely not be as good as a group of people. Communicating with teachers more is a very easy way to solve problems. It is tried and done every time. Don’t be afraid to ask teachers. As easy questions can solve most of your own problems. Other ways include, such as asking classmates, checking online, and using multiple channels to solve problems.
One is that you cannot let go, you do not think that you cannot do it, and the difficulties encountered and your persistence are in confronting each other. Sometimes children can solve problems with a confrontational attitude, but not all challenges can be carried. people’s abilities and energy are limited after all. When the problem cannot be solved temporarily, the child should dare to let go of his inner obsession, otherwise the accumulated pressure will lead to the idea of giving up on himself after a long time. When it’s time to sleep, let him pay attention to rest and exercise when it’s time to exercise. Always keep the child’s body and mind in a state of combining work and rest. uses a combination of work and rest, and a moderate way to manage yourself, so as to avoid falling into a vortex of pressure. 5. Extreme behavior dominated by emotions, please keep yourself calm, give yourself a buffer zone, and warn yourself not to do this.
We encounter many children with high stress, depression and other psychological or emotional problems, which are almost all related to 's weak ability to solve problems. If the problem cannot be solved, the child will develop self-doubt and self-negation over time. As
accumulates more and more difficulties, psychological pressure will continue to increase. Therefore, you need to ask more questions from the teacher. For problems that cannot be solved, one is that you can take the initiative to let go of, let go of challenges, and be able to accept that you are not omnipotent.
On the one hand, everyone has their own difficulties. When they are in difficulties, they are asked to do this and do that, and say that you are wrong, that is wrong, it is definitely a difficult situation for others. At this time, parents must first compromise, stabilize their emotions first, let the children drink tea, eat fruit, and make a delicious meal, at least half of the things will be done. For the next thing, we should discuss things with the matter, not be satisfied with the conversation, not be able to do it well, just give a bottom line, and do not do extreme behaviors to fight parents.
On the other hand, the child is indeed sick and has depression . At this time, all education is useless and there is no need to put any pressure on him. I just want to make the child strong, build a strong heart, know how to let go, and work appropriately. As long as it is not a very bad result, it is acceptable to parents.
As a child, you need to give yourself a bottom line. You cannot always think about problems in an extreme direction, give yourself a bottom line, and give yourself enough buffering. Whether you are looking for help, looking for a doctor, or looking for a policeman, you must ensure that you do not go to the extreme.
only ask for a little bit, so that the tragedy of the child will not happen again.
