Because I came to see a psychologist before, I was always confused. There are always a lot of emotions to express and to relieve. But this day, I will talk about something. But it is more of a sense of powerlessness. The feeling of powerlessness made me unable to say much. The feeling of powerlessness made me learn to listen for the first time.
Blastocyst transplant will be done next Monday. It has been two years since we went around and intermittent transplant preparations. It also mixed with my father's car accident, my husband's divorce, my fraud and the bull-bear transformation of the stock market.
It has been two years since I had egg retrieval surgery and hysteroscopy. I took countless medicines and received injections. Whenever I suffer, I don’t know what it is for. Whenever I suffer, I think my husband will spoil me and love me because of this. But now I know that if he loved me, he would not have let me suffer these hardships at all.
But I am with him, and it doesn't seem to be a fool for him to love me. Because he doesn't love me, I have some relaxation.
I have grown a lot in the past two years because I have received enough blows. Some of the blows were so big that I didn't know if I could stand up again. But in the end he stood up. So this time it must be the same. No matter what happens, you have to bear the results of the transplant, and slowly let go of them.
This consultation discussed three very important issues.
The first one is the main reason for my depression. That is why I once couldn't understand why at the last critical stage of my study in Germany, although I needed the encouragement and approval of my family, and I was very sure that if I could get a better attitude from my family, I would be able to graduate smoothly. My mother, however, could not give her a little empathy, compassion, encouragement, or just some good attitudes, let alone a while to come to Germany to study.
Liuliu explained to me that ordinary people, when dealing with people at the bottom of the well, they are just taking the blame. I recently did something similar to one of my friends JJ. When she encountered difficulties, she asked me for help. Not only did I not be able to treat her, I even felt that her request for me was too much. Finally, I risked the discovery of offending her and refused her resolutely. Although I know that morally, I should send carbon from the snow and give me warm help. But I can't agree with her fragility. I think her situation is really not a dilemma compared to mine. And I think her vulnerability makes me look down on her a little. I think she is still a child and she hasn't grown up to be what she should be.
This was obviously not the case before. I used to admire her very much. I think she has a big picture. But when a person who I think has a big situation becomes a lot of demand when encountering some small blows, my attitude towards her is not moral help and support, but disgust. Deeply disgusted. I also felt this disgust from my mother back then. I have never understood why my mother is so cold-blooded. It turns out that the pain I experienced when I was young was also whining without any illness in my mother's eyes. Not only can she not treat me the same way, she contempts and dislikes me.
Of course, the relationship between mother and daughter and ordinary best friends should not be comparable. But Liuliu also said that many parents cannot deliver carbon from the snow. They are all very nice to their children on their usual days. When the child is frustrated, he scolds and beats him hard.
Liuliu also pointed out that only particularly powerful people and psychologists can deliver carbon in the snow. She also pointed out that when a woman first gave birth to a child and when a housewife leaves society, the world will bully you.
Only after understanding this did I realize why people force marriage and give birth to children are taking advantage of your illness and killing you.
After understanding this, I will summarize two actions.
First, when you are in a pit, you must be aware of yourself and do not seek other people's understanding.Most people will only give you the best, including parents, children, husbands, and the closest people.
Second, when making friends, you must distinguish between those who are worthy of their efforts and those who are not worthy of their efforts. If there is no one around you who is worthy of your efforts, study hard, enrich yourself, and cultivate yourself. Friends use it to help each other, not to pass the time.
Three is an extension of two. As your cognition improves, you will find that you need to change your circle of friends. This is a natural process of elimination, and it is better to be indiscriminate than to be insignificant. Say goodbye to the old and welcome the new.
The second important question is how to take good care of your emotions. How to take the initiative in your own emotions into your own hands. Instead of becoming a remote control or a remote control held in someone else's hand.
When you have emotions, calm down first and analyze first. What kind of emotion is it, sadness? Is it boring? Is it annoying? Is it anger? When did this emotion begin? What are the things that lead to this emotion? Who are the people and what matters are related to this matter? Can these things be solved? Can you talk to these people? Can you learn from things that cannot be solved? Can people who cannot leave learn from any experience to improve?
are you hungry? Are you sleepy? Have you suffered a blow? Is it something wrong with someone else?
If you have emotions, stop and ask yourself dozens of questions. Find the reason and think of solutions. Can you be unhappy if you can love yourself so much?
Liuliu gave an example. In order to express her dissatisfaction with her father, she first made her father happy, and then complained for 40 minutes.
In order to be considerate of one's own emotions, one must be able to manipulate other people's emotions, rather than being manipulated on the contrary.
Through communication with Liuliu, I learned that learning is endless when it comes to cognitive issues. Fortunately, I have learned this.
The last important thing, also the problem that has troubled me recently, is my husband's cough. I think if my husband starts a business, there is no other problem, it is pharyngitis or cough. I always feel that coughing while speaking is very affecting the other person's understanding. Not in line with the image of a founder. But my husband's cough has never been cured, so I was quite desperate.
But Liu Liu told me that my disgust for my husband is understandable. Because she could imagine that if a person around her had been coughing, she would definitely not be able to bear it after several years. But for the person you are talking to, just listen for an hour or two, and others say it can be tolerated. Let me encourage my husband and support my husband in starting a business.
This is the excellent thing about Liuliu. I hate my husband's cough and I think my husband's cough will affect entrepreneurship, which are actually two different things. One thing makes sense. But because I hate it, it may be wrong to infer that everyone else hates it. Hawking You can become an outstanding physicist if you cannot speak, and there are many people in the world with a strong will. Or in other words, the more disabled you are, the stronger your ambitions you are. It's the opposite of a person who is strong and disabled like me.
But since I found the thing I really like to write, my will has gradually become stronger.
Finally, thank you Liuliu. A consultation has benefited a lot. Keep up the efforts and make progress together.
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