Do you want to communicate better?
These tips will help you avoid misunderstandings, grasp the true meaning of communication content, and greatly improve your work and relationships.
01.
What is effective communication?
Effective communication is not just about information exchange. It also needs to understand the emotions and intentions behind the information. In addition to being able to convey the message clearly, you also need to listen in a way to get the full meaning behind the language and make the other person feel listened and understood.
Effective communication sounds like it can be done by instinct. But many times, when we try to communicate with others, some things go astray. We say one thing, another person hears another, misunderstandings, frustrations and conflicts follow. This will cause many problems to your family, school and work relationships.
For most of us, clearer and more effective communication is an important skill that needs to be learned. Whether you are trying to improve communication with your spouse, kid, boss, colleagues, learning this skill can deepen your connection with others, build greater trust and respect, improve teamwork, problem solving, and your overall social and emotional well-being.
02.
What hinders your effective communication?
Common obstacles to effective communication include:
2.1 Stress and emotional out-of-control
When you are stressed or overwhelmed, you are more likely to misunderstand others, send confusing or unpleasant nonverbal signals, and fall into unhealthy subconscious behavior patterns. To avoid conflict and misunderstandings, you can learn how to cool down quickly before continuing the conversation.
2.2 Inattention
You cannot communicate effectively when you are dealing with multiple tasks at the same time. If you're looking at your phone, planning what to say next, or are drifting, you'll almost certainly miss the nonverbal clues in the conversation. To communicate effectively, you need to avoid distractions and stay focused.
2.3 Body language inconsistency
Non-verbal communication should strengthen what is being said, not contradictory. If you say one thing but your body language says another, your audience will likely feel that you are dishonest. For example, you can't say is while shaking your head to refuse.
2.4 Negative body language
If you disagree or dislike what others say, you may use negative body language to reject the party's information, such as crossing your arms to avoid eye contact. You do not have to agree or like what others say, but in order to communicate effectively, it is important not to put the other party in a defensive state and avoid sending negative signals.
03.
Effective communication skills 1: Be a focused listener
When communicating with others, we often focus on what we should say. However, effective communication is not to say, but to listen. Good listening means not only understanding the language or information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker is trying to convey.
There is a big difference between being focused and listening in simplicity. When you really listen, when you are fully focused on what you say, you hear the subtle tone of someone’s voice telling you how that person feels and the emotions they are trying to communicate. When you are a fully focused listener, you will not only understand the other person better, but also make the other person feel listened and understood, which helps to create a stronger, deeper connection between you.
Through this way of communication, you will also go through a process of reducing stress and supporting physical and emotional health. For example, if the person you are talking to is calm, listening in a dedicated way will also help you calm down.Similarly, if the other person is emotionally excited, you can help calm them down by listening attentively and making them feel understood.
If your goal is to fully understand and connect with each other, it is usually natural to listen in an engaged way. If that is not the case, try the tips below. The more you practice, the more satisfying your interactions with others will become.
The secret to becoming a focused listener
3.1 Focus on
If you keep looking at your phone or thinking about something else, you can't listen attentively. You need to focus on the instant experience in order to capture subtle nuances and important nonverbal cues in the conversation. If you find it difficult to focus on certain speakers, try to repeat their words in your mind - this will strengthen their message and help you focus.
3.2 Note your right ear
sounds strange, and studies show that the left side of the brain contains the main processing centers for language comprehension and emotions. Because the left side of the brain is connected to the right side of the body, favoring your right ear can help you better detect emotional nuances of what others say.
3.3 Avoid interrupting
If you want to say your own thing, you can say this: "If you think this is bad, let me tell you what happened to me." Listening does not mean waiting for your turn to speak. If you are always thinking about what you want to say next, you can't focus on what others say. Usually, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know you are thinking about something else.
3.4 Show your interest in what others say
Nodding occasionally, smiling at the other person, and making sure your posture is open and attractive. Speakers are encouraged to continue saying that there can be some small verbal comments like “ok” or “hmm.”
3.5 Try to give up judging
In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don't have to like them or agree with their ideas, values or opinions. However, you do need to put your judgment aside and not blame and criticize so that you can fully understand them.
3.6 provides feedback
If there is any disconnection in understanding, reflect the content mentioned in the form of a retelling. “What I hear is” or “sounds like you’re saying” are all great ways to feedback. However, don't simply repeat what the speaker says word by word - it will make people sound insincere or unwise. Instead, express what the speaker's words mean to you. Ask some questions to clarify: "What do you say... means?" or "Is that what you mean?"
3.7 Listen to the emotions behind the words
The higher the frequency of humans speaking, the more they can convey emotions. By exercising the tiny muscles in the middle ear (the smallest body) you can adapt to these frequencies to better understand what others are saying. You can train this by singing, playing wind instrument , or listening to certain types of high-frequency music (for example, Mozart Symphony or Violin Concerto , instead of low-frequency rock , pop or hip-hop).
04.
Tips 2: Pay attention to the nonverbal signal
The way you see, listen, move and react to others can tell them more about your feelings than language. Nonverbal communication or body language, including facial expressions, body movements and gestures, eye contact, posture, your tone, and even your tense muscles and breathing.
Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.
You can enhance effective communication by using open body language: stand in an open position without crossing your arms, or sit on the edge of your seat, keep eye contact with the person you are talking to.
You can also use body language to strengthen your verbal message, such as patting a friend on the back while praising his success, or waving his fist to emphasize your message.
improves your way of reading nonverbal communication.
4.1 Pay attention to individual differences
People from different countries and cultures tend to use different non-verbal communication gestures, so it is important to consider age, culture, religion, gender and emotional state when reading body language signals. For example, an American teenager, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman might use different nonverbal signals.
4.2 Take non-verbal communication information as a whole
Don’t have too many interpretations of single gestures or non-verbal hints. Consider all the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye contact to tone to body language. For example, anyone may occasionally aphasia , allowing eye contact to disappear, or accidentally cross their arms briefly. Consider these signals as a whole in order to better “interpret” a person.
4.3 Improve your way of communicating nonverbal communication
Use nonverbal signals that match your language. If you say one thing but your body language says another, your audience will be confused or suspect that you are dishonest. For example, sitting with crossed arms and shaking your head is not in line with telling the other person that you agree with what they say.
4.4 Adjust your nonverbal signal according to the context
For example, when you speak to a child, your tone should be different from the tone you speak to a group of adults. Likewise, consider the emotional state and cultural background of the person you are dating.
4.5 Avoid negative body language
Instead, use body language to convey positive feelings even if you don't really experience them. If you are nervous about a situation, such as a job interview, a significant speech, or a first date, you can use positive body language to show confidence, even if you don’t feel that way.
Don't tentatively lower your head, enter the room tentatively, avoid your eyes, and slide onto the chair. Try to straighten your body, lean your shoulders back, smile, keep your eyes connected, and shake hands firmly. This will make you more confident and help relax the other person.
05.
Tips 3: Control pressure
How many times have you felt stressed when you disagree with your spouse, child, boss, friend or colleague, and then said or did something you regret later? If you can quickly relieve stress and return to calm, you can not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases, you can also help the other party calm down. Only when you are in a state of calmness and relaxation can you know if the situation needs to be reacted or if the other person’s signal indicates that it is better to remain silent.
For example, it is important to control your emotions, think from the right standpoint, and communicate effectively under pressure in case of work interviews, business presentations, high-stress meetings, or introductions to loved ones’ family.
Stay calm under pressure and communicate effectively.
5.1 Use the procrastination tactics to give yourself time to think
Ask for repeated questions or clarification of statements before answering.
Stop and sort out your thoughts. Silence is not necessarily a bad thing – pauses make you look more controlled than rushing responses.
5.2 makes a point of view and provides an example or an auxiliary information
If your answer is too long, or you are vague about some point of view, you may lose the audience's interest. Use an example to illustrate a point of view and then estimate the audience’s reaction to determine whether you should make a second point of view.
5.3 Make your words clear
In many cases, how you say it is as important as what you say. Talk clearly, speak smoothly, and make eye contact. Keep your body language relaxed and open.
5.4 Summary, then stop
sum up your answer, and then stop talking, even if this will make the room silent. You don't have to keep talking to fill the silence.
5.5 Quickly decompress and effectively communicate
When the conversation starts to get intense, you need some quick and direct ways to reduce emotional intensity. By learning to quickly relieve stress in the moment, you can safely assess any strong emotions you are experiencing, regulate your emotions, and do appropriate behaviors.
5.6 When you feel stressed, be aware of
If you are stressed, will your body tell you, is your muscles or stomach tense? Are your hands tightly clenched? Are you breathing lightly? Have you "forgot" to breathe?
Take some time to calm down before deciding to continue or postpone the conversation.
5.7 Save you with your senses
The best way to relieve stress quickly and reliably is through the senses - vision, hearing, touch, taste, smell or movement. For example, you could put a mint in your mouth, squeeze a pressure ball in your pocket, take a few deep breaths, tighten and relax your muscles, or just recall a calm, sensory rich image. Everyone responds to sensory input differently, so you need to find a coping mechanism that soothes you.
5.8 Looking for humor in this case
If used properly, humor is a good way to relieve communication pressure. When you or the people around you start taking things too seriously, find ways to relax by sharing a joke or funny story.
5.9 willing to compromise
Sometimes, if both of you can make a little concession, you can find a happy compromise that will relieve everyone's stress level. If you realize that the other person is more concerned about a problem than you, compromise may be easier for you and is also a good investment in future relationships.
is pulled away so that everyone can calm down. If possible, going out for a walk, or spending a few minutes of meditation, or allowing your body to move, finding a quiet place to calm down can quickly relieve stress.
06.
Tips 4: Stick to yourself
Direct and confident expression will help clear communication and help improve your self-esteem and decision-making ability. Confidence means expressing your thoughts, feelings and needs in an open and honest way, but that doesn’t mean being hostile, aggressive or demanding. Respect others while holding on to your own position. Effective communication is always about understanding the other person, not winning a debate or imposing your point of view on others.
How to improve your confidence:
6.1 Respect yourself and your choice
They are as important as anyone else.
6.2 Understand your needs and wishes
Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of others.
6.3 Express negative feelings in a positive way
It is OK to be angry, but you must also maintain respect for others.
6.4 Actively accept feedback
Courteously accept praise, learn from mistakes, and seek help when needed.
Learn to say "not"
6.5You must know your limits and don't let others violate you
find other options, so that everyone will be satisfied with the results.
Develop confident communication skills
6.6 Think from others
First, recognize the other person's situation or feelings, and then state your needs or opinions. "I know you've been busy at work, but I hope you can make time for us too."
6.7 declare consequences
Over time, you will become more and more determined, which includes stating the consequences if your needs are not met. For example, “If you don’t comply with the contract, I will be forced to take legal action.”
6.8 Practice confidence
Practice confidence at low risk helps build confidence. Or ask your friends or family if you can practice confidence skills on them first.
