There are always people around us who have very serious negative emotions. Many depression and anxiety patients who come for consultation will also have similar situations in the early stage of consultation. It seems that they are surrounded by negative things and unfriendly people.
If you have noticed that you have been in negative emotions for some time, here are three methods that can help you:
1. Change your language system
Many visitors will come here with "obsession". The words are filled with a lot of "should" , for example, I should earn more money, I should perform better at work, I should be more positive and sunny, and then when I ask them why they "should" do these things, they will answer: My mother said this; if I don't do this, I will be unemployed and I will be finished in this life; everyone should be like this, right?
These "shoulds" are people's "obsession". In fact, there are many choices for everything, and each choice does not only correspond to one result. But why do everyone use "shoulds" to tie themselves up and let themselves face everything in only one way?
When there is only one standard for things, it is easy for oneself to fall into negative emotions, because the development of things often deviates from one's expectations, and when people find that things are inconsistent with their expectations, it will cause people's anxiety.
Moreover, there is a message behind "should", that is, "I am not good enough".
If your life is full of "shoulds", you might as well change "shoulds" into "cans".
For example: I can make more money; I can perform better at work; I can be more positive and sunny.
This language brings people a positive and energetic feeling. After
changes the language system, you can think about another question: Why didn't you do this?
Some people answered: I think I am not capable enough; some people will say that my mother found this job for me and I don’t like it; some people will say that I don’t know how to do it.
And this answer will be much clearer than the original "I should", which can make people willing to face the current situation with the purpose of solving the problem.
At the same time, the meaning behind "I can" is: I can make myself better.
2. Wherever your attention is, you will grow
You can be aware of where your daily focus is, and whether you always pay attention to what you have not done well. For example: I said the wrong thing when chatting with my colleagues today; I scolded my children again today; I procrastinated again today.
The more you focus on unwanted things, the more these things will grow, because your attention is focused on these negative things and you have no energy to create positive things.
We can turn these negative things into positive declarations, such as: I am excellent, I am meticulous, I am loving, I am popular, I like my eyes, I appreciate my personality, I am surrounded by love, and I am passionate about the world.
Once you turn these positive statements into habits, you will start on the path to self-acceptance.
Our psychological problems all come from problems with self-acceptance. When we think that others don’t like us, it actually comes from the negative evaluation of ourselves in our hearts. The attitudes of others are often just our inner projections. If we have enough self-acceptance, when someone does not agree with us, we will not take it to heart, because we ourselves recognize ourselves.
(It is recommended that patients with depression read the two books "Beat Depression" and "Emotional Self-Help")
3. Develop life in the direction you expect
After you have a part of self-acceptance, you will begin to gain the courage to change.
You can think about your expectations for yourself, what kind of person do you want to be, what kind of life do you want to have? When you have a goal, gradually move towards it with the blessing of courage.
In this process, you can set short-term goals while setting long-term goals. If your life goal is to accumulate a certain amount of wealth, then the short-term goal can be to find a reliable financial analyst to help you clarify your current financial situation, or to learn some courses about wealth.
When you do these three things, you will find that you have fewer and fewer negative emotions. Even if you have negative emotions, you will no longer be trapped in them and unable to extricate yourself.
