Qiqi is a irritable little boy and a child of the autism spectrum. That day, Qiqi wanted to go to the amusement park, but because it was raining heavily outside, her mother said that she would go again next time. Qiqi suddenly collapsed and cried and said, "I'm going to the amusement park."
Mom has no choice, so she just said we'll go later, okay? Qiqi was still relentless and began to scream loudly and hit his head. Anyone who approached would punch and kick him, run around, and not allow others to get close. The whole family was very afraid of Qiqi losing his temper. Once loses his temper, it will cause trouble for the whole family. Every time, he ends Qiqi's emotional out of control by compromise. Although his mother tried many methods, she still couldn't change Qiqi's violent temper.
Emotional loss means that a person is in a state of out of control due to emotions. , especially for autistic children, their language and social abilities are limited, and they will be more irritable than ordinary children. They will not use the correct behavior to express their emotions, and we cannot use language to calm children's emotions .
Faced with the behaviors caused by emotional out-of-control in autistic children, such as running around, screaming loudly, etc., how should we control this out-of-control scene and calm the children's emotions as parents?
First of all, we need to understand the reasons why children’s emotional out of control, so we will develop targeted plans
1. Changes in the family. For example, changes such as having a baby born at home, or having relatives and friends come to visit, parents are on business trips, etc. will affect the child's mood.
2, chemical substances. For example, if new furniture is added to the home, the paint smell on the furniture will make the child feel uncomfortable and will experience greater emotional fluctuations.
3. Diet changes. For example, in recent days, children have eaten too many spicy and irritating foods, and their stomachs and intestines are affected, causing physical discomfort in the child and their children will become more irritable. There is another situation where excessive sugar and pigmented foods are consumed. Some children's excessive sugar intake will change the secretion of adrenaline . Or the child has eaten too much takeaway recently, and this type of food contains a lot of preservatives, which can also cause children's emotional changes.
4. Seasonal changes. For example, the weather has been hot and cold recently. Wearing 2 clothes in the morning and short-sleeved sleeves in the afternoon is just for autistic children. Too frequent changes will also affect the children's physical and mental health.
After understanding some factors of emotional out-of-control in children, we can start to formulate targeted plans.
1. First comfort and then punish
When the child has lost his temper, our discussion and compromise are useless. For older children, parents can say seriously and firmly: "When will you calm down? Let's talk about it." For younger children, parents can squat down, hold the child, caress the child's back, and help the child calm down. Beating and scolding is a very bad behavior. We are teaching autistic children to learn to communicate in language. After the child calms down, he will give corresponding punishment. For example, if the child hits someone, he will ask the child to wipe the table and tell the child the function of his hands.
2, a special quiet area
When parents cannot control their children whose emotions are out of control, they can find a place to calm their children alone . Although this method is not particularly good, it is a method for children who cannot control it. For example, let your child have his own room and calm down before coming out. This method varies from person to person. Some children want a separate space, but some children cannot use this method, so parents have to evaluate their children's situation by themselves.
3. Parents say less "no", children experience more
. Parents should not rush to say "no" . Children usually lose their temper because the requirements are not met and know that they cannot come where they want to go. Parents can give their children a chance to express themselves. For example, "What do you want to go to the amusement park? Open the door first and see what's wrong outside? It's raining." Let the child reach out to feel the feeling of raindrops on his hands, and tell the child that he will be wet when he goes out now. If the child still wants to go out, then give the child a toy or picture books one by one and tell the child, "Let's read the picture books first, and wait until the rain stops before going out?" This method reduces the child's emotional out of control.
4. Give your child time to vent
If you have tried all methods, the child is still on the verge of being out of control. Then give the child a 10-minute chance to vent and let the child cry. After crying, the child's emotions will be relieved . At this time, many parents will make a mistake, that is, to discuss this matter with their children immediately. If the child already knows how to talk, then discussion afterwards is indeed important, but it should not be discussed immediately. We can say one hour later: "What's wrong with you this morning?" to discuss with your child how to deal with this next time.
5. Control your emotions
Nowadays, parents are under great pressure to work. When they get home, they have to be the "judge" of their two children. When they are exhausted, many parents will also lose control of their emotions. Therefore, the picture we see is that the emotions of the two children become the emotions of the whole family are out of control, beating and crying. Isolate all factors that can make you lose control before you feel that you are about to get out of control, such as hiding in the room first and telling your child, "Let's calm down and discuss it later." This can also avoid a family war.
Everyone has an emotional out of control. Whether it is a child or an adult, the child has poor self-control, so parents need correct guidance to help their children "treat" the "big monster" of emotions. At the same time, parents should also read more related books and find ways to regulate their emotions.
Where do you think you can’t control your children and your own emotions? Welcome to leave comments and Daddy of the competition will answer you one by one!
