How to cultivate children's self-confidence? ｜I think the third point is very important
A netizen asked, how can cultivate children's self-confidence?
Confidence is the first step towards success; lack of confidence is the main reason for failure , which is a famous saying by British playwright and poet Shakespeare .
American thinker, writer and poet Emerson also said that Self-confidence is self-confidence is the first key to success .
So, Self-confidence is particularly important to our lives .
(I) Sense of self-efficacy
In psychology, we generally call self-confidence Sense of self-efficacy , which refers to the degree of confidence of people in whether they can use the skills they have to complete a certain work behavior.
This is proposed by the famous American psychologist bandura in his book "The Social Foundations of Thoughts and Behaviors" in the 1970s. means that whether we can do something well with often depends on our true ability, but on the evaluation of our own abilities .
If we lack self-confidence, we will feel serious incompetence in our hearts, always worry that we will make mistakes, always fear that others will laugh at our fools, and always think that we cannot do anything well . Therefore, they will be overly nervous when doing anything, and in the end they will always achieve nothing. thus verifying the correctness of their overly worried .
We know that many parents have actually realized that is a very important thing to cultivate children's self-confidence . However, there are various opinions on how to cultivate children's self-confidence. Moreover, more importantly, many unscientific views have confused our cognition and make us more confused in our hearts.
So, let’s talk about confidence with you from a psychological perspective.
(II) The relationship between self-confidence and sense of security
Confidence was originally derived from the sense of security of young children . For a child, If he has a good parent-child relationship with his parents and they can trust and rely on , then the child's self-confidence will continue to increase.
There are always two forces in people's hearts that are opposite and contradictory. is to retreat and avoid, and the other is to take risks .
Infant child, When he feels safe enough, he will automatically break free from his parents' arms, climb forward, and even try to walk. When he falls or is frustrated, he will immediately run back and throw himself into his parents' arms.
So, what we parents need to do is to try to meet the two needs of our children: When the children want to return to your arms, we must open our arms to protect them; when the children want to break free from their arms and try to explore the world, we must observe them carefully.
In Zhao Xiaoming In the words of teacher, it means that parents should do a good job in protecting the Dharma and provide children with an environment to hold on to .
If children can get through this stage smoothly, then they will build a good sense of security and trust in their hearts .
(III) The relationship between self-confidence and interpersonal communication
htmlAfter the age of 23, children will leave their families, come to kindergarten, go to school, and enter the interpersonal society . At this time, , the source of their self-confidence, began to transform from the initial sense of security to interpersonal relationships.
If the child can get the attention and support of others in interactions with his peers, classmates, teachers or others, then the children will be happy to interact, thus establishing good interpersonal relationships and establishing strong self-confidence in the heart .
On the contrary, when children are frustrated in interpersonal communication, they will feel that dealing with others is a very terrible thing, and they will feel particularly frustrated and inferior. Then, these children will lose their self-confidence, resulting in serious inferiority .
(IV) How to cultivate children's self-confidence
To sum up, it is not difficult to know that The sense of security in early infancy and interpersonal experience after the age of 3 are the two major factors that determine a person's self-confidence . Therefore, in order to cultivate children's self-confidence, it is necessary to use these two factors as the entry point:
first, to provide children with a safe enough environment.
is safe enough here, is not absolutely safe, but is enough . As psychologist Zeng Qifeng said, is a good enough mother, a mother with a score of 60.
Therefore, in a safe enough environment, should make children feel safe enough, and mothers should play the role of protecting the law here; On the other hand, should give children enough freedom and provide children with an environment to explore the outside world, and constantly stimulate children's curiosity and sense of effectiveness.
Second, create a good interpersonal environment for children.
Internet celebrity writer Wu Zhihong One of the most popular words is " native family ". He believes that " family will hurt people ", and this view is regarded as the truth by the public. In fact, Wu Zhihong only said half of it .
" native family " concept, is not a regular psychology textbook for birth, but comes from some social psychological books . Among the formal psychology textbooks, there is only the concept of " early growth environment ". Its not only includes parents and families, but also schools and social environment.
Therefore, while parents establish a good parent-child relationship with their children , they should also try to create a good interpersonal environment for their children's growth .
When children are frustrated in schools and other places, as parents, we must be the first to stand up and to protect the normal rights and needs of children.
Of course, at this time, also needs our school and society to have this awareness and responsibility.
Third, pay attention to cultivating children's sense of responsibility and ability.
There is a saying in the psychology theory that has the greater the responsibility, the stronger the ability. A person's responsibility and ability are positively correlated with .
The heavier a person's responsibility, the stronger his ability. When a person's ability is, the greater his sense of responsibility is. At the same time, A person’s responsibility and responsibility are two aspects of a person’s self-confidence.
"全新 " says, 全新 , gentleman strives for self-improvement . Here, is healthy and strong refers to the human self-confidence , and talks about a person's responsibility and responsibility.
Zhao Xiaoming When talking about the castration theory , Teacher 8 emphasized that what a person is most afraid of when he grows up is "missing missing ". The first "missing" is the verb , the second "missing" is an noun , and " missing missing " refers to depriving children of their chances of growing up .
Seeing this, many people will definitely think, how can "missing" in be an opportunity for growth? ?
(V) For missing missing
Remember fog-mannlanjiang Teacher said that success is a process of continuous trial and error .
When he explained this sentence, he once told such a story.
There is a person who always complains that he doesn't meet , and always says that his boss is very stupid and the company is very messy, and the boss always deaf ears to his suggestions and opinions.
Teacher Wu just said lightly to this person, " If your boss is not stupid, then he must be Jack Ma ."
What does this mean?
It means that the bosses of are all made step by step, and the company is also established step by step. In this process, you must encounter many difficulties, do many things wrong, miss many opportunities, and encounter many setbacks .
However, is precisely because of these difficulties, errors, opportunities and setbacks that the boss and the company have accumulated a lot of growth experience , and the last boss and the company have been found.
If you don’t go through these, then you will either stand still and fail, or he will be Jack Ma.
Therefore, gives children the opportunity to take responsibility in a timely manner and provide children with an environment for making mistakes and trial and error, so that they can slowly and truly allow children to grow up, constantly enhance their sense of responsibility and ability, and truly build their self-confidence.
Here is @年官网. Do you have different opinions or better opinions on how to cultivate children's self-confidence? is very happy with your attention and communication .
