A divorce case that is about to begin, a couple who have been separated for two years and filed a divorce for the second time actually withdrew the lawsuit after I was asked to do three psychological counseling for them!
Yu Ge (pseudonym) came to me because she was dissatisfied with the lawyer she hired earlier and had poor communication. She was very dissatisfied with her husband and anxious about the case.
She talked to me a lot. She has a husband who works in IT and a ten-year-old daughter. Both of them are white-collar elites, with good incomes, no one cheated, but no one was satisfied.
She and her husband have lived separately for nearly two years. Last year, her husband filed a divorce lawsuit, but the court did not make a divorce. The second lawsuit was filed at the beginning of this year, and the court will be held in about twenty days.
It sounds like his husband's divorce is nothing big, just trivial.
Maybe during the conversation, Yu Ge learned that I had learned psychological counseling and was national second-level psychological counselor . She didn't want to divorce and quietly started to think about psychological counseling.
But she didn't tell me her true thoughts until we made an appointment to discuss divorce for the second time. When I was about to arrive at the meeting place, she sent me a WeChat message saying that she brought her husband and hoped to have a psychological consultation.
To be honest, I don’t want to do psychological counseling. On the one hand, I don’t practice psychological counseling, and on the other hand, I don’t know how her husband’s mental state or even willing to come. I can only say that he is a guest appearance.
I did the consultations given to them based on my hope that they can reconcile and some of my consulting abilities. I didn’t think more about whether this was contrary to my business.
Unexpectedly, the consultation seemed to have touched them, and then made an appointment for the second and third time. Every time I try my best to inspire and dig out the beautiful memories of the marriage life that still exist in their hearts, and inject a more positive experience of the marriage itself.
This process is really hard. It is necessary to let the unspeakable IT man speak out some truth, but also to guide the stronger and more self-centered woman to reflect on herself and see more about the other person's efforts for the family.
It’s okay, Yu Ge doesn’t want to divorce after all, after all, the divorce case will be held soon, and the possibility of a second divorce sentence is very high. Therefore, no matter how strong she is, she has to cooperate with her in order to achieve the goal of being inseparable.
The man, he is actually not unwilling to love his family, he is very disappointed with the woman, feeling that he does not understand and does not accept him. After so many years, he has not found a way to communicate with her.
So, helping them analyze and find a good communication model is also the focus of every consultation.
Women have always put their career first, work hard and life careless. Although the man is an IT man, he is meticulous and considers more about the trivial daily life at home. He always hopes that there will be more sharing and expression between the two people, but the woman disdains and disagrees with it.
The female teacher has been studying as a Central Conservatory of Music since childhood, and later studied under the undergraduate music major and graduated from the journalism department of key universities. The female is more immersed in the spring and snow of art, while the male is completely unaware of the more profound and niche interests of musicians.
The values and life styles of the two people are very different, and coupled with some inappropriate intervention from both parents, they have deep grudges.
Inspired by me, the woman finally began to talk about the music records collected for her over the years and the efforts she made for all kinds of things at home. The man also admitted how the woman had been desperately trying to be with him, and she also did a lot of things for him that she was not liked.
Actually, I didn't expect their shaky marriage to be reversed by my last ten years of guidance and hard work. Although it did play a big role, what I didn't expect was that the man really withdrew the lawsuit.
I don’t think I have the ability to change others, but feelings are really complicated. Sometimes you think it’s annoying complaints, but it’s actually deep expectations. Sometimes you seem to let go, but in fact he still has the warmth of love.
In the eyes of lawyers, divorce is a civil case, and the mediation or judgment result is the end of a matter.
In the eyes of psychological counselors, marriage is the deep fusion of oneself and others, a symphony of long-term growth and trivial daily life. Behind all events are emotions and emotions, and the presence and absence of love.
