I am Dr. Hanjing, a psychiatric department. You can call your questions in the comment section and discuss them together. Every child deserves a richer future! However, are parents helping their children relieve stress or ease their anxiety by depriving them of their children of

I am a doctor Hanjing from the psychiatric department. You can call your questions in the comment section and discuss them together.

Every child deserves a richer future! However, are parents helping their children relieve stress or ease their anxiety by depriving them of their children of their stress-relieving methods?

I'll answer this question with a simple example. Have you ever been bitten by poisonous mosquitoes ? It was obviously a small bag, but it was extremely itchy. In order to relieve itching, some people will carve crosses on the bag, some will constantly pat, and some will even keep slashing and scratching the skin.

If at this time, the people next to you feel distressed to see you "self-abuse" like this, and tie your hands up and don't let you scratch it, how would you feel? Do you feel that the other person is helping you relieve itching and you feel more comfortable because of this? Or do you still endure the itch while becoming more powerless, uneasy and manic because you are suppressed and unable to resist? Have you felt the difference?

Itchy is your "symptom". Picking and scratching is your "method" to relieve itching; I can't bear to see you scratching it, it is "other people's anxiety". Controlling your hands and stopping you scratching it is "other people's way to relieve their anxiety"; what is the real help? It is to hand you anti-itting water to apply, and then wait for you to calm down and light mosquito coils in the room.

Many times, this is the relationship between a depressed child and his parents who want to help his child. You think you are helping your child relieve anxiety and stress, but in fact you are depriving your child of the method of relieving stress to relieve stress. Because you really can't stand the child's status and performance, but you ignore what causes the child to have such a state.

It's like you find that there is a place that smokes, thinking that blocks all the smoke exits, and everything will be fine. But the more important part is ignored - what exactly happened under the smoked exit. At the end of the video, I tell all parents that being good for their children is ≠ good for their children.