Most of us have two kinds of lives, one is the life we are living, and the other is the life we have thought about but are buried deep in our hearts.
There is a single-plank bridge called 'resistance' between two kinds of lives.
I often jump out of my heart, and I am just like that. I want to lie flat, put it on the rotten ones, and make a salted fish.
01. Set the limit for self-
So can we eliminate such resistance? Let's see if you have the following situations.
First point: Do you delay your work until the deadline every time?
Second point: Do you start to implement weight loss or exercise plans with great enthusiasm, but interrupt them again and again? For example, if you are too tired today, you should take a break and continue. People with slightly less self-control will not be able to afford it.
Point 3: Have you made a New Year plan, but you gave up quickly?
Point 4: Do you sometimes suddenly doubt yourself, feel indescribable anxiety, and cannot express your true feelings?
Point 5: Do you always want to be perfect in everything, or are you worried that you cannot take on heavy responsibilities? I believe that most people have some experiences with the above issues, just as the German writer: Jacqueline Cooppen analyzed in the book "Who Says I Can't".
or more problems. From a psychological point of view, this type of behavior is called self-destruction, always taking a step forward and taking two steps back.
Although we really want to get something, we always unconsciously obstruct our plans.
Instead of taking a big step forward as expected, we took two steps back.
The subconscious psychological pattern weakens our self-confidence, belittles our achievements, and destroys the harmony and satisfaction of our inner world.
Self-destruction often becomes one of our distinctive personality traits, making it difficult for us to perceive when and in what way we started this pattern.
But we can clearly realize that we are always setting limits on ourselves and do not fully utilize our advantages.
So, is there any way to solve the above problems? Next, let’s see if the book “Who Says I Can’t” can find the answer.
02. Dimension of the inner world
Irish There is a motto: "Take time to think, that is the source of strength."
It is obvious that the brain is our most powerful opponent, because there are three major areas in our brain: comfort zone, learning zone, and danger zone.
In the comfort zone, everything makes us feel happy, relaxed, familiar and easy, this is a safe area.
If you want to grow and develop yourself, you must step out of the mountain comfort zone and enter the learning zone. When we leave the old path and start an unknown journey, we can master new thinking patterns, emotional patterns, behavior patterns, etc. through learning.
The next area is the dangerous area, which is the limit of our physiological and psychological, which will make us feel particularly uneasy, helpless, uncomfortable, etc. Then unpleasant memories and fears of the past will come to your heart.
So if you want to overcome the above self-destructive psychology, you must have the courage to enter the blank area.
When we enter the blank area, we will be very scared and even think that we have reached the dangerous zone. So the brain subconsciously will issue instructions, asking you to quickly return to your comfort zone.
So how to overcome this problem? Jacqueline Cooppen, the author of "Who Says I Can't", said that the "three-step" stage method can be adopted.
Step 1, cultivate self-awareness; step 2, find new methods; step 3, practice our new methods regularly.
thus turns it into a habit and a new comfort zone.
After cultivating such thinking, you will gain accurate cognition, clear thinking, real feelings, appropriate words, and decisive actions.
03. Coping strategies for self-destruction mode
first defeats fear, just like John Wayne said: "Courage is to be scared to death and have to get on the horse and get a big fight." When you defeat it, you will feel a little bit like this.
Next, cultivate a firm sense of self-awareness, not rely too much on others' affirmation, let go of the past, and no longer complain.
brings a sunny life every day, abandons anger. Liberate yourself from worries, learn to make decisions by yourself, but rely too much on other people's ideas.
overcomes perfectionism, just as Thomas Edison said: "Imperfect beginning is better than perfect hesitation. "Too perfectionism is often easily defeated by others.
In fact, others are not interested in your perfectionism at all. No one expects you to do the best unless the other party is also a perfectionist.
last point is to get rid of procrastination. Every day, just remember: "I can do what I have to do. "
has many reasons for procrastination. The common ones are as follows: evading change, fearing success (success comes at a price, and most people are afraid of it.), and not wanting to take responsibility for the possibility of failure.
overcome procrastination, and often start the signal for the brain, and activate the important strategy of "I will start now".
uses decisive actions to tell yourself "this is nothing" as an activation word. Let inner dialogue become your own ally.
04. Conclusion
How long it takes to achieve this change depends entirely on whether you want to truly transform.
Of course, the changes you expect will not be realized overnight.
After all, life is like this. It is not that you plant seeds and will bear fruit immediately.
When there is a sound in your mind that will never stop changing, you will experience the wonderful fun of living until old age and learning to old age.
I sincerely hope that the strategies this book provides for all of us can make your life more colorful.
I sincerely hope that the strategies provided by this book can make your life more colorful.
