A neurotic patient will suffer a lot of pain when fighting against his own conflicts, and he often regards suffering as a means to achieve certain goals that are difficult to achieve in other ways due to some existing difficulties.
Abuse of pain and is ready to escape proactively navigating life at any time, which comes from a tendency to make yourself weaker rather than stronger, more unfortunate rather than happier.
The great amount of pain suffered by neurotic patients has nothing to do with the desire to suffer, but is just an inevitable result of existing conflicts. Exposed anxiety caused by existing conflict is a prominent example of this pain in neurosis, but not the only one. Other types of neuropathic pain can also be understood in this way—such as pain caused by the recognition of the growing gap between potential and real achievements, the sense of despair caused by certain difficulties, the most insignificant offense, and the self-deprecating nature of neurosis.
In these neuropathic sufferings, people get the superficial impression that the pain suffered by neurotic patients exceeds the pain that has a realistic basis. However, here, the function of neuropathic suffering in neurotic patients can largely explain the behavior that creates this impression.
For a neurotic patient, suffering may have a direct defensive value, and in fact, it may also often be the only way for him to protect himself from imminent dangers. By self-condemnation, we avoid being condemned and condemned others; by seemingly sick or ignorant, we avoid being criticized by others; by belittling ourselves, we avoid the danger of competition - but the pain he brings to himself is also a defensive mechanism.
Suffering is also a means for him to obtain what he wants, and a means for him to effectively realize his own requirements and put these requirements on a reasonable basis. In terms of his life desires, the neurotic patient is actually in a dilemma. He developed a basic feeling of helplessness. The result of this dilemma is that he expects others to take care of himself. It is believed that others should be responsible for their lives, and if something goes wrong, it should be someone else who is condemned. This is contrary to his other belief that no one can give him anything, and the result is that he feels that he must force others to fulfill his desires. Suffering and helplessness became his tricks to gain love, help, and control over others, and at the same time prevented him from all the demands others might make of him.
Finally, suffering is still an effective way to express condemnation to others through disguise.
Usually, neurotic patients often suffer more than they should suffer according to their strategy purpose. He tends to exaggerate his pain and immerse himself in feelings of helplessness, misfortune and worthlessness.
The disappointment arising from conflicting tendencies will throw him into the abyss of pain, and this pain and situation are extremely inconsistent with the meaning of the situation to him. When he has achieved only a little success, he will dramatically exaggerate his failure to an irreparable shame. When he just can't hold on to his rights, his self-esteem will plummet, like a deflated ball.
Why did he seem so willing to increase his pain on the surface that it is beyond the scope of the strategy?
When he narrows himself to zero in his self-evaluation, the difference between success and failure, superiority and inferiority no longer exists; by exaggerating his own pain and by making himself lost in a universal sense of pain or worthlessness, this annoying experience loses its reality to some extent, and the severe pain caused by this specific pain is paralyzed and anesthetized.
Specifically, it means that although suffering is painful, letting oneself immersed in excessive suffering may play a role in avoiding pain like opium.
The basic attitude towards life hidden under the masochistic tendency is an inner sense of weakness.This sense of weakness occurs in attitudes towards oneself, towards others, and towards the entire destiny. Simply put, we can describe this feeling as: a profound sense of meaninglessness, a sense of nothingness; a feeling that is easily swaying with the wind like a reed; a feeling that is controlled by others and has to obey orders (this feeling is manifested as a tendency to be overly obedient, or defensively overemphasizing control of others and never giving in); a dependence on others' love and judgment (the former is manifested as an excessive need for love, while the latter is manifested as an excessive fear of criticism); a kind of lack of say in one's own life and cannot The feeling of not allowing others to be responsible for their lives and make decisions; a feeling of good and evil coming from the outside world, and the individual is completely powerless about fate (from a negative perspective, this feeling is manifested as a premonition of the onset of trouble, and from a positive perspective, it is manifested as expecting that some miracle will happen if one finger is not needed); a feeling of being controlled at the hands of the master, at the mercy of others); a feeling of being controlled by the master.
Basically, this inner sense of weakness is not a fact at all, it is just the result of a tendency to be weak.
A tendency to blindly accept authoritative judgments, rely on others, and always avoid difficulties with a helpless attitude of "I can't" rather than regard difficulties as a challenge, further proves the existence of this weak tendency.
is satisfied by immersing himself in pain, embodying the universal principle of being satisfied by losing oneself in something bigger, by dissolving one’s own personality, by giving up oneself and all doubts, conflicts, pain, limitations and loneliness that it has.
By allowing oneself to dissolve into something bigger and by making oneself part of a larger entity, the individual overcomes its own finiteness to a certain extent.
Whether it is maintaining and developing personality or sacrificing personality, it is a reasonable goal to solve human problems.
In almost all neurosis, the tendency to eliminate the self is expressed in a direct form. It may be manifested as a fantasy of running away from home, becoming an outcast, or fantasizing about losing one's identity; it may be manifested as a self-deprecating character in the book you are reading; it may be manifested as a feeling of feeling abandoned in darkness and waves and blending with darkness and waves. This tendency exists in various desires to be hypnotized, in a mysticism tendency, in various non-realistic feelings, in excessive need for sleep, in a desire for illness, mental illness, and death.
In various masochistic fantasies, the common characteristic is a feeling of being dominated by others and being merciless, a feeling of being deprived of all will and power, and a feeling of absolutely surrendering to the rule and domination of others.
The satisfaction he seeks seems to weaken or eliminate his own personal self. Therefore, he is no longer the active carrier of action, but becomes an object without his own will.
These abused pursuits can also serve as a means of protection against anxiety and provide potential or realistic satisfaction.
Neurotic patients tend to feel that they are victims of all the will of others; but at the same time, he insists that the world should adapt to him. He often tends to feel enslaved; but at the same time, he insists that his power to dominate others should be unquestionable. He hopes that he is helpless and wants to be taken care of by others; but at the same time, he insists that he is not only completely self-sufficient, but in fact he is omnipotent. He tends to feel that he is insignificant; but if others don't treat him as a genius, he will be furious again. In fact, a satisfactory solution that can reconcile these two extremes is absolutely no, especially when both pursuits are very strong.
Neurotic patients not only want to get rid of the fear, limitations and loneliness that is common in humans, but also want to get rid of the feeling that they are trapped in irresolved conflicts and the resulting pain. His antithesis of this, the drive to pursue power and self-expansion, is equally irresistible, and exceeds the normal intensity.
He can give up on himself and indulge in pain, but he is completely passive for this kind of giving up. He regards the emotions, interests or others that cause his own pain only as a means he uses to lose himself. There is no positive interaction between himself and others, but only self-centered focus on his own purpose. Truly giving yourself to others or to a cause is a manifestation of inner strength; while the abused person’s abandonment of himself is ultimately a manifestation of weakness.
Another reason why the satisfaction pursued by neurotic patients is difficult to obtain is the destructive factors inherent in the structure of neurotics. This neurotic destruction constitutes the personality of the neurotic person and the potential to achieve success and happiness.
is neither temporarily in for regeneration nor to make life richer and more fulfilling. Its purpose is to eliminate the entire painful self, regardless of its value, and therefore the undamaged part of the personality will respond in fear to it. In fact, fear of possible disasters is usually the only factor in the process of impacting consciousness. He was pursuing a clear satisfaction, but his fear of obtaining this satisfaction prevented him from doing so.
The driving force for abuse is rooted in personality conflicts. The purpose is not to suffer; like everyone else, neurotics do not want to suffer. Neurological suffering is the price he must pay, and the satisfaction pursued by the neurotic patient is not suffering itself, but a kind of abandonment of the self.
