"Your child is so old, why don't you know how to go to school by yourself? Why can't you even do small things like wearing clothes and tying shoelaces?"
"You autistic parents are too fond of their children. Only by letting go can autistic children learn to live independently."
Sometimes, when autistic parents hear too many questions about their children by others, they will inevitably fall into self-doubt: Why is the independent living ability of Star Kids still so poor after teaching for so long?
01 Why does my child have such poor ability to live independently?
Independent living ability refers to the skills required by an individual to be self-sufficient in the surrounding environment that are consistent with his age, including three aspects: personal (i.e. beauty, eating, personal hygiene (clothing, washing, toilet, etc.), diet), family (i.e. cooking, cleaning) and community (i.e. time management, fund management, and work skills).
For autism, the big reason for the poor ability to live independently is related to its own factors. Data shows that [1], autism has sensory processing disorders, insufficient concentration, weak cognitive and comprehension ability, low imitation ability, lack of language expression, weak oral muscle ability, weak emotional control ability, and limited motor and tissue ability. These factors directly or indirectly affect the daily skills required to obtain independent living for autism.
Of course, the poor ability to live independently in autism is not only related to the causes and factors of autism, but also has a certain connection with parents' "not letting go" and "too much care".
When a child is diagnosed with autism, as parents, they often unconsciously treat the child as a weak person who is cared for by others. However, in all aspects, parents do their best to take care of their children's diet and daily life, help them handle personal hygiene every day, and meet all their needs. In fact, you inadvertently deprive him of the opportunity to exercise and grow more than ordinary children.
does not allow children to take the initiative to try and accumulate life experience, which forms a vicious cycle and their ability to live independently will become worse and worse.
02 The importance of cultivating the independent living ability of star children
Why should we focus on improving the independent living ability of autistic children?
First of all, the ability to live independently is a prerequisite and necessary skills for entering school study and life. Secondly, if autism is not accompanied by parents in the future, compared with autism that does not have the ability to live independently, autism children with this ability can also arrange their lives reasonably, take good care of themselves, and do a good job of personal hygiene, so that they will not be disheveled all day long.
In addition, due to the ability to seek help when facing difficulties, even if autism encounters certain difficulties in public places such as shopping, medical treatment, banking, entertainment, and travel, he will be able to act in line with social norms rather than emotionally losing control.
In short, improving the independent living ability of autistic children is of great significance and urgent! Next, Mutual Aid will share a small suggestion on a simple, fast and effective way to improve independent living ability, hoping that it will be helpful to all parents.
03 flow chart can help star children improve their independent living ability
Research shows that [2], most autism has the advantages of visual processing, and provides visual support during training, such as picture cards, pictures, photos and videos. Through these image prompts, they will be more acceptable and faster to obtain this skill.
takes the form of a picture card as an example. Suppose the goal of parents is to teach their children how to brush their teeth. First, divide brushing into several small steps, and each small step is represented by a picture card, for example:
Take the toothbrush - take toothpaste - open the toothpaste - squeeze the toothpaste on the toothbrush - open the mouth - lightly brush the upper teeth - lightly brush the lower teeth - brush the left teeth - brush the right teeth - put down the toothbrush - take a cup of water - rinse the mouth - spit water - turn on the faucet to clean the toothbrush and cup - put the toothbrush and the cup back to its original place - wipe the mouth with a towel.
or above small steps parents can further break down the brushing steps according to their children's needs. If the parents disassemble the steps finer, it can help children learn more easily.At the same time, during teaching, parents can pay a little attention to which step their children have to learn more and more effort, and can draw them out separately for multiple exercises.
In addition to making flow charts, we have also shared some suggestions on how to improve the independent living ability of Star Children in the past articles. We will not repeat it here. (Click on the text to jump to read: Let Star Children live independently in the future. This is something that must be done! The more you teach the independent living ability of Star Children, the worse it is? This is the problem!)
04 written at the end
No parents wanted to raise a child who could never live independently from the beginning, and this is especially true for parents with autism. No one wants their children to live independently and be as capable as ordinary people in the future than autistic parents, rather than a person with autism who always needs to rely on others to help.
To enable autistic children to have the ability to live alone, parents must first learn to let go appropriately and create more opportunities to let their children try actively. Even if there are some mistakes in the process of trying, they can provide appropriate reminders and suggestions, but do not complete the tasks for their children, otherwise the children will never be able to take the independent step.
Reference materials:
[1] Li Yan, Hu Sheng. Review of independent life skills for people with autism spectrum disorders [J]. Journal of Suihua University, 2018, 38(01): 68-70.
[2] Zhang Hong, Wei Na, Li Ning. Application of self-care flowchart in improving the ability of self-care for autistic children [J]. Nursing and Rehabilitation, 2016, 15(01): 51-53.
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