What is ambiguity?
This is an indescribable feeling that transcends friendship, but cannot become a lover.
Therefore, some people summarize the ambiguous relationship between men and women in 8 words: "Above friendship, lovers are not full."
From another perspective:
The reason why two people choose to be ambiguous is because there is more uncertainty in their hearts.
subconsciously believes that there will be no good results with the other party, and it is unlikely that they will become lovers.
However, each other is unwilling to give up this ambiguous state.
From a psychological perspective, what are the psychology of those who are accustomed to ambiguousness?
-01
Ambiguous is the turning point of the relationship between two people
Different people have different results in ambiguous relationship with each other.
For example:
Some people are ambiguous, and it is a test.
Test the other party’s bottom line, test the other party’s thoughts, and test how far you can develop with the other party.
But such ambiguity is more of a passion; both of them want to seize the initiative and want to make the other party obey themselves in their subconscious mind.
So, they tacitly maintained such ambiguity and pretended to be intimate.
chose to be ambiguous because they are uncertain about this relationship.
"I'm not sure if I can be with him, nor whether he has me in his heart, so I can only test his feelings first."
Another kind of ambiguity is waiting.
Wait for confirmation of the precursor of a romantic relationship.
Before a couple determines their relationship, they always go through such an ambiguous stage, but this stage is relatively short.
Chat every day, ask about the other party’s well-being, give gifts to each other, invite him to date, etc.
These behaviors are relatively ambiguous behaviors.
And ambiguity is also an excessive move towards romantic relationships.
But everyone should distinguish that your relationship with the other person is just an ambiguous relationship, and there is still a chance to go further.
-02
resistant to love, but also need emotional sustenance
There is such a type of people:
They are very resistant to love in their hearts.
Once someone confesses his love, he immediately loses the desire to continue to get along with the other person.
They prefer the beauty between two people, the hazy. The feeling of
always makes him feel like he is "a deer bumping around".
In other words:
They do not need love, they need the value of emotions and the sustenance of emotions.
What is emotional value?
What a person lacks in his emotions, the more he wants to be with.
For example:
Your emotions are very unstable, often irritable and angry, then in your subconscious, you are very eager to find someone with emotional stability to get along with.
What is emotional sustenance?
loneliness, loneliness, boredom, etc. We all need to find a breakthrough to vent these emotions.
And at this time, the person who is ambiguous with him is his best emotional supporter.
So they need to wander among the opposite sexes and constantly maintain ambiguous relationships.
-03
6The attachment pattern of unfinished emotions
The most common phenomenon is:
A couple has been in love for many years, but when it comes to the step of talking about marriage, the two cannot survive.
What is the reason?
is not that I don’t love, but that my parents don’t agree.
Although they put in a lot of effort, they still couldn't continue and got married.
But two people cannot give up their love and company for many years.
so chose a compromise: ambiguity.
Those who keep close contact with their ex and are still messed up are such an ambiguous pattern.
After breaking up, I cannot give up this love, which is "unfinished emotion".
Psychologically, it is called the "Zeignik effect".
People have a deeper memory of what has not been completed than what has been completed.
What they think is:
"Since we can't be husband and wife, we will be close friends for life."
In fact, such thoughts will also dissipate over time.
Because in this world, there is no pure friendship between the opposite sex.
-04
3 People with low self-worth are more likely to be ambiguous
People with low self-worth are used to denying themselves and thinking that they are not loved and not understood.
In an intimate relationship, he dares not take the initiative and is unwilling to express his feelings easily.
So, he often falls into a passive state, which is due to his lack of ability to resolve disputes and troubles encountered in his relationship.
For example:
When an ambiguous person cares about him and asks about his well-being, he feels that he is the happiest person.
Ambiguous people are indifferent to him and perfunctory, but he thinks he is too bad and has done something wrong.
They are so contradictory, their emotions are like roller coasters, sensitive and suspicious, and always think too much. People like
cannot do without ambiguity, but they cannot handle ambiguous relationships well. Any ambiguous relationship between
will have no good results.
If the ambiguity between you is not for the sake of the next love or marriage, then such ambiguity is meaningless.
This is a game without a winner.
Today’s topic:
Do you understand “ambiguous” feelings?
(Article pictures are from the Internet)
