Author: Zhao Xiaoming Text: Xing Juan Editor: Cui Guanli
Xiaoming Quotations
People get the basic anxiety about life from the news every day, which is used to replace their own inner anxiety about the future. The purpose of expectation management is to make anxiety expectations , turning to expected expectations.
This is a magic weapon for psychological health and delaying aging.
Parent question:
I feel that my child does not have self-confidence, and not only does he have no self-confidence, I also feel that he has some contempt, indifference, and even punishment for himself.
Sometimes he would use a knife to mark his hands. Although the marks were very shallow, these things made me feel very anxious.
01 The difference between mental illness and physical illness
Generally speaking, when psychological workers see such a case, they will have an idea: this is depression .
In fact, depression is just a label.
All of our current diagnostic criteria for clinical psychiatric and psychological diseases are not exactly the same as the diagnostic criteria for physical diseases that we usually think of.
When many people hear that a child has been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or a mental illness, they immediately think that it is a serious problem. Most people associate mental illness with Physical illness is lumped together.
If we want to diagnose a physiological disease, we will find specific lesions based on various examination results, whether it is blood test results or various imaging observation results.
In other words, every disease found in physiological medicine has a pathological result that can be detected, and it is not a speculated result.
But mental illness is different. Mental illness cannot find physical lesions. does not have any real result that can be detected. It is just an inferential symptom, a description of human symptoms.
Mental illness is a symptomatic description, which means that if you have certain behaviors and external states, you will have such a label. means that it equates a person's performance with a label that the person has a certain disease.
This diagnostic method is a special diagnostic method for mental illness. Most ordinary people do not understand it. Even many ordinary psychological counselors have completely misunderstood the fundamental difference between the diagnosis of mental illness and physical illness. Parents Not to mention.
02 Understand the difference
If you don’t understand this, you won’t be able to understand:
First, you can’t understand what is a mental illness?
Secondly, I don’t understand how to help my children solve these problems?
In other words, you can think of a real physical disease as a real disease, but you can think of a mental disease as it cannot be treated as a disease like a physical disease.
In fact, people's psychological state is a dynamic process, it is not a static process. For example, will give you a clinical scale today and diagnose you with a certain mental illness, but you may be fine in a few days.
But for physiological diseases, if you want a discovered lesion and discovered physiological examination results to completely disappear, that is not easy.
03 Mental illness is a fake disease
In fact, it can be believed that everyone has experienced a certain clinically recognized and symptomatic mental illness at a certain time, in a certain place, and under certain special conditions.
means that everyone can be considered to have suffered from mental illness, and most people will recover on their own without taking care of it. This is the characteristic of mental illness.
When I talk about mental illnesses, they are actually fake illnesses, while physical illnesses are real illnesses.The best disease in the world is actually mental illness, because essentially it is a fake illness.
But this fake disease does not mean that it will not cause harm to people. Why? Because many people mistake fake illnesses for real illnesses, which then leads to more serious consequences.
In other words, whether it is for psychological workers or parents, everyone must realize:
- First, mental illness is a fake disease.
- Secondly, the fake disease of is called psychological reality in psychology. also says that although it is a fake disease, it will have real and serious consequences.
- On the other hand, everyone's psychological quality is different. This level of psychological quality is related to both innate inheritance and whether they have experienced many hardships in the future.
Some people have good psychological quality, and they may react less severely when encountering certain conditioned stimuli; some people have poor psychological quality, and they may react more severely when encountering stressful situations.
04 Set up a stressful environment
It can also be said that anyone suffering from mental illness, if you can reduce the stimulation of the external environment to him, it will actually help to alleviate his problem to some extent. In other words, reduces stress and stays in a more relaxed, pleasant and happy environment, and mental illnesses will recover.
Let’s give an example. Military training will gather soldiers in one place every year. Every time during the three-month military training, there will be some people with slightly worse psychological quality.
He usually doesn't do anything at home, so you can't tell.
Because whether a person has high or low psychological quality, or whether he or she will develop some stress-related mental diseases, can only be seen in a stressful environment. In psychology, there is a term called a stress test.
Military training is equivalent to a stress test for a person to see if you can adapt to this environment.
In this stress test environment, there will always be people who are not adaptable to this environment, and they will develop some psychological diseases, and even serious mental problems.
05 Looking at psychological quality at special moments
html In 2006, our mentor took over a project and sent us to the frontline combat troops against Taiwan to do a lot of research. A crisis was also occurring in the Taiwan Strait at that time. From the survey, we can see that in crisis situations, people's psychological quality varies from high to low. Some people will be fine, while others will have problems.
Anyone in a relatively relaxed, happy and comfortable environment will not have any serious psychological problems, and you can't tell the level of this person's psychological quality.
But Once under a stressful environment, a person's innate psychological quality will immediately come out. has nothing to do with people being strong and muscular. Because mental strength and physical strength are two completely different concepts.
Some people are weak in humanities, but he is very strong in his heart. Some people seem to be physically and mentally strong, but in fact they may be mentally fragile.
A little girl who feels very fragile may be able to withstand pressure better than a big boy or a strong man in certain stressful situations. This is possible, so psychological quality and physical quality is completely different.
06 Parents’ misunderstandings
Nowadays, most parents have misunderstood one thing, because most children now grow up in schools and do not spend much time at home. They only do homework at home, and almost all the spiritual world and Life is all about school.
Parents see their children busy doing homework all day long in school, living and growing up in school, and mistakenly think that their children are doing well in all aspects, but this is not the case.
Because a child's true psychological quality can only be seen in richer social situations outside of school.
Why do some children usually have no problem at all? They may be top academics and graduate from a prestigious university, but then develop problems within a few days of getting to work, or suffer from mental illness, or just fall back and lie flat? The stressful environment of social life is incomparable to that of school.
but Many parents think that their children can withstand social pressure just as they can withstand study pressure in school. This is the biggest misunderstanding.
07 Create more scenes for children
Because of this, I suggest that children cannot just grow up in the school environment. They must be brought to a richer environment outside of school.
Moreover, from elementary school, junior high school, high school and even to university, they must continue to experience a richer social environment and the environment outside school to continuously enhance their psychological quality.
As their bodies grow, their psychological quality will gradually improve, so that they can cope with the more severe social pressure environment in the future.
If parents do not pay attention to the social pressure environment and just train their children as a learning machine and a test machine, after they leave school, there will be no shortage of problems for this child, and they will all come out slowly.
08 The final solution
So just like this parent asked, I have added so much common sense to you today and I want to tell you:
- First, people are born with good or bad psychological qualities, and everyone's psychological qualities are different. It has something to do with heredity and acquired environment.
- Secondly, no matter how high or low your child's psychological quality is, today's children almost only have the single stressful environment of school, and they cannot withstand other stressful environments. That's why we should arrange more rich growth environments for children during their growth, which will help improve their psychological quality.
On the one hand, we must understand what psychological quality is, and on the other hand, we must understand that mental illness is not a medical disease. Mental illness will gradually decrease and disappear as people's psychological quality improves.
Therefore, parents should not treat their children as if they have signs of mental illness as a real physical illness. They must understand that people's psychological conditions are a dynamic process of change.
We should also pay attention to the impact of other pressures on children outside of the single pressure environment of school, and pay attention to improving the psychological quality of children.
Listen to Mr. Xiao Ming’s series of micro lessons →
Xiao Ming’s quotations
The most indispensable thing in this world is reasons and excuses. The most cherished thing in this world is self-persistence under the bombardment of reasons and excuses.
Original public account: Heart Partner (ID: xhbeap)
