When it comes to "labeling", almost everyone can relate to it. psychological counselor Yang Jing will give you the answer! But not everyone knows how powerful tags are.
In fact, each of us spends our lives in labeling and being labeled. The so-called labeling is to attach a meaningful word to a specific person, so that everyone will have a certain stereotype about him. When he talks about this person, he will immediately think of that word.
Sometimes the first people to label these children are their dearest parents. But it is undeniable that parents have good intentions, but even labeling their children based on love will have an immeasurable impact on them.
They are what many people consider to be "bad kids and stupid kids". In the first half of their lives, they were labeled with various malicious labels, and suffered all kinds of disgust and ridicule.
Many people seem to be unable to find any advantages in them and think that their lives will be bleak.
Yang Jing, a psychological counselor in Henan Province: Don’t put negative labels on children! Otherwise, the child will be ruined.
Parents are the greatest authority in the eyes of their children. Their judgments and the labels they give their children are what the children see themselves in the mirror. In front of his children and friends,
introduced to his friends that "our child is too introverted" and that he is a "thin-skinned person". When a child makes a mistake in his homework, he will say, "Why are you so stupid?" or "You are an idiot."
Of course, some parents have also learned a little knowledge about parenting, and instead of belittling their children in this way, they praise them vigorously, "You are so smart" and "You are born to be a good material for learning." After reading this, you may be a little "confused". It is not good to belittle, but is it wrong to praise?
Because parents or adults have authority in the eyes of children, their judgments are like a mirror, allowing children to see themselves.
Yang Jing, a psychological counselor in Henan Province: Don’t put negative labels on children! Otherwise, the child will be ruined.
If what you see is "I am stupid", then the child may become inferior and give up subsequent efforts. If what you see is "I am a genius, I am very smart", then the child will become inferior. effort.
What's more important is that in order to maintain their smart image, they will not dare to touch more difficult tasks or meet challenges. In the end, they will gradually lose the courage to explore and move to the edge of failure.
does not allow negative judgments, nor does it allow positive judgments. How to do it is actually not difficult: evaluates the process, but does not evaluate the results.
For example, you worked very hard today, and the whole process shows that you are very attentive, so keep up the good work. This avoids direct comments such as "You are so smart" that directly evaluates the results.
Yang Jing, a psychological counselor in Henan Province: Don’t put negative labels on your children! Otherwise, the child will be ruined.
Emotional summary: Those parents and friends who make conclusions and label their children just by seeing certain behaviors, please stop this kind of behavior towards their children.
Because there is no way to make up for the damage caused by this kind of behavior to children, once these enter the child's psychology before school, it will bring an indelible blow to the child's character. It will affect the child's life.
The above is the psychological knowledge explained by Henan psychological counselor Yang Jing. I hope it will be helpful to everyone!
