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Many things in life need an opportunity.
Having a "good" couple in my family may be another opportunity for me to keep thinking and learning about parent-child relationships and family education .
If awareness is the beginning of change.
I think it was that year when Sister Niu just entered elementary school and Brother Rui just entered kindergarten. Also arriving in a new environment for the first time, Rui Ge's warm, loving, enthusiastic, generous, optimistic and lively attitude successfully helped him adapt to the new life and environment in a short period of time.
Looking back at Sister Niu, although she is equally curious and excited about the opening of a new stage, it is obvious that she is cautious, hesitant, slow-moving, and conservative in her heart.
Is there a problem with the relationship between classmates, or is it because the learning ability cannot keep up?
Born in the same family, with the same education method, why did the two children appear in completely different states? She was at a loss and helpless, and I had no idea what to do; for a long time, we became entangled and tortured each other...
often He said that being a parent means "growing up with your children."
Father's love and mother's love are instinctive, but not everyone is born to be a parent. Everyone has to work hard and grow up through stumbling.
As a new generation of parents, although we know that we cannot use traditional methods to treat today's children, questions arise. If we don't use traditional methods, what method should we use?
then began to pay attention to and study various parenting concepts, placing his hope in the so-called "experts", but found that things were becoming more and more complicated, caught between those originally conflicting views, and he was even more confused. He drank a lot of educational chicken soup, but could not Put into practice.
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By chance, I saw a book called "Natural Nature". Then I listened to Pao Dad's 18-minute video and learned about the educational concept of adapting to nature.
Innate temperament in psychology is called "thinking preference" or "thinking mode" here.
As early as 50 years ago, the "Whole Brain Dominance" model of Dr. Ned Herman in the United States proved the existence of preference in brain thinking through the University of Texas using an EEG instrument.
The human brain has four types of thinking preferences ABCD, also known as four natures.
A nature is good at analysis and logic, B nature is good at discipline execution, C nature is good at feeling, and D nature is good at imagination and creation.
Each nature has its own advantages and disadvantages. Interestingly, as early as 500 years ago, Mr. Wu Chengen had discovered the differences in human nature and created the four classic roles of ABCD, Tang Monk, Master and Disciple.
A nature is like Tang Sanzang, determined and competitive, but tough and stubborn; B nature is like Sha Monk, meticulous in rules, but entangled and slow; C nature is like Zhu Bajie, warm and considerate, but soft and timid; D nature is like Sun Wukong is lively and agile, but impatient and careless.
Education in line with nature advocates: accepting disadvantages and stimulating advantages; following the trend of education to get twice the result with half the effort, which perfectly overlaps with the "Wallach" effect in psychology - managing one's own strengths.
Children with different natures require different parenting methods. But in reality, we are more about making up for what we don’t know, and constantly doing education to make up for shortcomings and correct mistakes.
According to incomplete statistics, the proportion of patients with negative symptoms exceeds 80% of adults and about 2/3 of children. People who are "negative" hurt others, and people who are "sick" hurt themselves. However, it is not their fault that they are negative, it is just because they have been taught the wrong way since they were young.
Gentle people raised in accordance with their nature are confident, self-consistent, introspective, and self-reliant; thus, there is: happy people use their childhood to heal their lives, and unfortunate people use their lives to heal their childhood.
Thanks to the clarity of
's nature, we realized the many differences between each other, and the principles of raising our two children also have a clearer direction.
In 2020, the start of school has been repeatedly delayed due to the raging new coronavirus. Living together in the same space day and night for five months has been a severe test for the relationships between family members.
While enjoying family happiness, conflicts arise at any time between two children with very different temperaments, and quarrels occur all the time. The nagging of life and study makes the old mother feel very disliked...
It is precisely because of this With understanding and respect, acceptance and recognition, whenever parent-child conflicts occur, we will have more relief and calm strength, so that we can get through this special period smoothly.
What is a good education?
I want to say that the suitable one must be the best! It is not based on parents' preferences, nor on parents' understanding and blind obedience, but on recognizing oneself, understanding children, standing in the child's position, according to his thinking habits, and educating him in a way that suits him. Maximize the advantages of , and at the same time, help children find their true inner needs and let their lives be released to the fullest. Education is like health, and it also needs to "treat terminal illnesses"
A friend who is studying medicine said: Education is the same as health, and it also needs to "treat pre-existing diseases. ". The idea of "treating the disease before it occurs" comes from "Huangdi Neijing ", which clearly states: The sage does not treat the disease that has already occurred, but prevents the disease before it occurs; the sage does not control the chaotic situation, but when the chaos occurs Before, avoid it. If a disease has already occurred and then we try to treat it, and if we try to control it after chaos has already formed, it is like digging a well when we are thirsty, or making weapons after a war breaks out. Isn't it too late? Traditional Chinese medicine still advocates cherishing life, paying attention to health preservation, preventing problems before they occur, prolonging life span and improving quality of life.
What if we compare our current parenting situation?
We also often linger on some specific problems that have occurred: for example, poor study, poor habits, children who are disobedient, not motivated, not self-disciplined, online games, adolescent rebellion... (Of course, this also includes possible exam failures in the future. If you go to school, you won’t be able to work, you will be stuck in your old age, etc.) What should you do if you encounter problems?
The best time to solve these "jumping" problems is before they happen. Some parents may think that at present, the child does not have those "jumping around" problems, so they can just keep it until middle school and the child grow up.
conversely thinks about whether it is so important to prepare and pave the way as early as possible if you want a good thing to happen. It is so important to understand your children.
Parent-child relationship begins with parents’ self-study
Through the basic training of psychological counselors, and under the superb professional guidance of excellent psychological counselors, I was moved again and again. When parents are raising their children, the children are not nourishing them. Follow us.
As a parent, you can only be with your children by constantly reflecting and learning, being aware of your own heart, your own educational concepts, learning new concepts and new behavior patterns, staying alert and aware at all times, and adjusting strategies according to times and circumstances. Better growth.
