"Love consists not in gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction.
~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Over the years, poets, philosophers, writers and many other artists have studied the psychology of love
From falling in love at first sight to growing old together, here are 10 psychological studies that everyone in love should know
1. It only takes a fifth of a second to fall in love
When you lay eyes on that special someone. Euphoric chemicals start acting on your brain within a fifth of a second.
Brain imaging research on love shows that 12 different brain areas are involved when looking at or thinking about it. When you are in love with someone, these areas release a series of neurotransmitters in the brain, including oxytocin, dopamine , antidiuretic hormone, and epinephrine
Love "stimulates" the brain with small amounts. Cocaine stimulates similarly.
2. The Psychology of Love: Brain Maps
First study of neural differences between love and sexual desire finds significant overlap and clear differences
Results show that some surprisingly similar brain networks are involved in love. and sexual desire activation.
The areas that are activated are those related to emotion, motivation, and higher-level thoughts
The psychology of love shows that sexual desire is not just a basic emotion, but also includes goal-oriented motivation and more. Higher-level thoughts.
Love is built on these circuits, and one of the key differential areas is in the striatum This area of the brain is often associated with the balance between higher and lower functions
3. The psychology of love. Science: Kissing can help us make choices
Two new studies on kissing find that in addition to being sexy, kissing can also help people choose partners and keep them.
In one survey, women in particular thought kissing was important, but more promiscuous men and women thought kissing was a very important way to test out a new partner.
Kissing is not only important at the beginning of a relationship; it also has a role in maintaining the relationship.
Researchers have found a correlation between the number of times long-term partners kiss and the quality of their relationship.
But no such link was found between more sex and improved relationship satisfaction.
4. Couples will look more similar after 25 years together
People who have lived together for 25 years may have similar facial features.
A study on the psychology of love found that the facial features of couples who have been married for more than 25 years become more similar, as judged by independent observers.
This may be due to similarities in diet, environment, and personality, or it may be the result of empathy with your partner for many years.
5. The Psychology of Love: Long-distance Relationships
According to a study on the psychology of love, contrary to popular belief, long-distance relationships are possible.
Two factors to maintain a long-distance relationship are:
- Tell the other party more private information.
- has a more idealistic view of his partner.
People in long-distance relationships tend to have similar relationship satisfaction and stability as those who are geographically closer.
6. Two things that kill a relationship
For more than 140 years, psychologist Professor John Gottman has been analyzing the psychology of love.
He has followed couples for decades in numerous psychological studies to see what behaviors predict whether they will stay together.
Two things can kill a relationship: repeated criticism, lots of expressions of contempt like sarcasm, defensiveness and prevarication, which is when communication is completely shut down.
7. Modern marriage requires self-satisfaction
A new study shows that marriage has changed significantly in recent years.
In the past, marriage was more about providing security and stability, but now people hope to get psychological satisfaction from marriage.
More than ever, people expect marriage to be a journey of self-realization and self-practice.
Unfortunately, faced with these demands, couples do not invest enough time and energy into achieving this growth.
Study author Eli Finkel explains:
"Overall, investing enough time and energy in your marriage is critical if you want it to help you achieve self-expression and personal growth. If you know you don't have the time or energy, adjust your expectations accordingly to minimize disappointment.
8. A simple way to save your marriage
A study on the psychology of love shows that if your relationship requires it. With some tender loving care, then treatment may not be necessary.
Watching a few movies together can achieve the goal.
A new three-year study found that couples who watched romantic movies together and discussed them afterward cut their divorce rates by more than half.
Ronald Rogge, lead author of the study, said:
"The findings suggest that both husbands and wives are aware of what they are doing right and what they are doing wrong in their relationship. So, you may not need to Come teach them techniques to reduce their divorce rate.
You may just need to make them think about their current behavior. Five movies that can benefit us for three years, which is great.
9. Relationships After Divorce
Relationships After Divorce. It doesn’t necessarily end, especially if you have children.
A study on co-parenting after divorce found that co-parenting after divorce can be one of five scenarios, the first three of which are considered relatively effective:
Dissolved duo, (usually) the father Disappeared.
Perfect friends, parents are still best friends.
Cooperative colleagues, husband and wife have started their own lives, but still maintain a good relationship with each other.
Angry partner, fights continue after divorce.
A fire-filled enemy in which children become pawns in the battle, often suffering as a result.
10. The Psychology of Love: Little Things
Since we live in a highly commercialized world, it seems that love can be bought and sold, but we must remember that it is often the little things that can have an impact.
A recent love psychology survey of more than 4,000 adults found that simple acts of kindness are often the most appreciated.
Pour your partner a cup of tea, take out the trash, or tell them they are charming too, all of which are more effective than a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers (these are good behaviors, too!)
Love Psychology
As the German poet and novelist Rainer Maria Rilke said:
"When people realize that even the closest people can have infinite distance, as long as they can appreciate each other, Seeing each other against the backdrop of the sky and growing side by side, then they can continue to live a beautiful life.”
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