School phobia has three high incidence ages:
4 to 7 years old, that is, when going to primary school and kindergarten, it is mainly related to separation anxiety. When I was 11 and 12 years old, I mainly went to middle school, which may be related to the anxiety of changing schools, changing environments, increasing academic pressure, increasing homework, and new interpersonal difficulties. Around the age of 14, during puberty, it may be related to the development of secondary sexual characteristics and his anxiety about his body. The child mentioned at the beginning of
received family therapy in the company of his mother. Sitting in the treatment room, he looks restrained, fat, and doesn't look like a 17-year-old. He has none of the characteristics of an adolescent boy. There are different types of sofas in my treatment room, but the mother and son chose a two-seater sofa and sat close together. Both of them are quite fat. When it comes to the pathogenesis of children's school phobia, it is related to heredity and the development of the central nervous system. But in the end, it has something to do with children leaving home, leaving their parents, and facing the world alone.
Psychoanalysis, behavioral theory, and developmental theory all provide explanations for school phobia.
addresses this issue primarily from a family therapy perspective.
Family therapy believes that: The symptom behavior of an individual belongs not only to the individual, but to the entire family system in which he lives, especially when the family system is dysfunctional, personal behavior problems or symptoms will appear. .
As far as the symptom of the child not going to school is concerned, it may be that on the one hand, the child's failure to go to school means that there is a problem with his family system. On the other hand, it is possible that his symptoms of not going to school have also maintained a certain balance in his family system, that is to say, the child's absence from school has become a strategy to maintain the balance of the family system.
Children always feel uneasy and uncomfortable when they are away from home. Even if I go out, I go out with my mother. So I spend about 95% of the day with my mother.
The disease occurred 5 years ago, and a lot of things happened in his family that year. Because of the misdiagnosis of the disease, the mother had the removal of reproductive organs, and she retired early. Due to the mother's illness, the relationship between husband and wife has also been affected to some extent, so the husband and wife are separated, and the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law has made the husband and wife relationship more and more alienated.
At this time, the child began to have some emotional and behavioral problems, and then began to skip school intermittently.
His mother began to focus on taking care of the children, and the interaction between husband and wife became less and less. The relationship is even more tense because of the great differences between husband and wife over the education of their children. More than a year ago, my father did not return home again, so my parents' marriage came to the brink of rupture.
At this time, the child's symptoms became more and more serious, and when it was upgraded to a mental disorder, he needed to be in the same bed with his mother before he could fall asleep, and he needed his mother's help to eat, take medicine, and take a bath. It is conceivable that a 17-year-old adolescent has become a child.
The evolution of such a symptom also made his mother unable to take care of other things, and also forced his father to come home every day to seek medical treatment for his child. Children are born like sponges, absorbing messages from their parents. Even the most unnoticed worries of parents can become unsettled in children, an automatic response to mutual traction. Children and their parents and families may not be able to detect it, but there is always a reason why adolescents can't leave home. In the balance of his parents' marital relationship, his heart is biased towards his mother.
In the course of treatment, every word he said was from his mother's position, so he loved his mother's love and hated his mother's hatred. So see him as his mother's samurai, and he fights for his mother.
Subconsciously, he was afraid of leaving his mother, afraid of the confrontation between his father and his mother, and he stayed at home to protect his mother, so he could not go to school and could not leave home. Another part is that mothers who have lost their health, lost their marriages, and lost their husbands also subconsciously want to keep their children by their side and at home.
A boy in puberty completely excludes his father from his heart, and his spiritual world lacks a father image of closeness, affection, trust, imitation and identification, and then his heart will Become more empty, tense and anxious, so more afraid to contact outsiders, even more afraid to face the outside world.
