I still remember the panic when my eldest Chinese teacher first looked for me.
That was the Monday of the fourth week of the first grade. I picked up my child from school. Today, because of football class, my child's school time was later than usual. When I arrived at the door, I saw a woman in her 40s and nearly 50 years old leading my child to stand at the door. I have a premonition that she is a Chinese teacher. And she came to me not to praise my child in front of me.
Sure enough, the Chinese teacher handed the child to me, and the child walked behind me, and then began to tell me about the child's performance in school. She first gave me a suggestion, saying that the child's word needs to be practiced. I deeply agree with this. When the baby started writing, the words could make an old mother vomit three liters of blood. The teacher also said that the child was a little unfocused enough during class and had some small movements. After listening to the teacher's description, it seemed that the child did not perform well in school. I felt a sense of shame and a little loss in my heart, and my mood was very complicated.
ended the conversation. I turned around and saw the baby lowering his head behind me, a little shy. I knew he could hear the Chinese teacher's words, and I was a little disappointed. Fortunately, I was not a mom with a bad temper. I took his hand and walked back quietly. Along the way, I was thinking about how to tell him to listen carefully in class and write well? My mind was in a mess and I couldn't find any good way.
But there is another Taekwondo section next. I sent him to the gym, he went in to practice, and I waited outside the door. My solemn expression may have been written on my face. There were several parents outside the gym. When one of them saw me sitting there without saying a word, he asked me, "What grade is your child?" I didn't want to chat, but I wasn't good at refusing, so I had to say, first grade.
Parents said, it’s no wonder, you look worried.
I feel a little bit inferior. After studying psychology for so many years, they are better than me in mind reading, and I am still easily seen through. I had to call him and said: Haha, you can see this. Parents said, yes, it’s really not easy to be a first grade now. The teacher holds tightly and has high requirements. He always feels that the children who are handed over to them should know everything. But the children do have to take the lead. If their children react slowly, then the parents are worried about it.
I seemed to have a lot of experience when I heard that she had a lot of experience, so I moved the bench closer to her and seemed to be listening attentively. Sure enough, when she saw that I was very interested, she asked me, "Your family has no transition from kindergarten to primary school, right?" I nodded and asked her, what grade your child is in. She said, she is in the fourth grade.
When I heard it, I became more interested. I was in such a state at that time, and I really needed people to come and give me some advice and give me some advice. I know that asking questions is the easiest way to keep the conversation going, so I asked, how did you live in the first grade? The question of
indeed opened the parent's chat. She said, looking back, I feel that in the first grade, we were a little bit off-limited by the teacher.
I hurriedly asked: What's going on?
She said: What do first-grade children know? My family was often looked for by teachers at that time. It is difficult for our parents to be a class of parents. The company was criticized by the leader, and the child was led by the teacher when he went to school. Oh.
I nodded repeatedly.
She continued to say that now she is engaged in home-school cooperation, and she wants parents to arrange their children properly for big and small matters. When doing handicrafts in kindergarten, it is not the child’s handicrafts, it is clearly the parents doing it. After finally getting to the first grade, what is the difference between being in the first grade and parents? Not only do children need to do their homework to watch, but they need to check and sign after finishing the homework, and also take photos and upload them after finishing the homework. Once the child does not perform well in school, he will immediately look for his parents, making it seem like the parents don’t have to go to work.
I was deeply moved by it, but complaining alone could not solve the problem, so I said, yes, if I didn’t have to go to work, my kid wouldn’t be able to do it. Today, the teacher criticized my family, saying that there were small movements in class and that the words were written ugly.
After saying that, I sighed heavily.
When the parents heard this, they said: Well, don’t be scared by the teacher’s words. My boss adapted slowly, and the teacher always urged me at that time. I have argued with my child several times and had a few fights for this. Now when I look back, I feel regretful. It is actually not easy for children to adapt to the first grade. Think about it, I just graduated from kindergarten and entered a strange school. I don’t know a new friend, so I have to sit down and keep quiet in class. Think about how you lived in the first grade?
When she reminded me, I seemed to have returned to my first grade. The picture I remember is like this: First of all, the table is too high, and I don’t know where the schoolbag should be placed, but I just feel that the rows of tables are crowded. The tall class teacher on the podium made me feel both unfamiliar and afraid. As a child, the feeling of the first grade is really not very good. After recalling my own pictures, I suddenly realized that I had forgotten most of the memories of my childhood, but I had never forgotten the scenes of entering the first grade, which shows that my emotions must have been aroused. Because only emotional memory can form a sense of picture, which will remain in the mind for a long time and will not dissipate.
The other party said again: Yes? Think about it, your child feels exactly the same as you now. In the process of adapting, the child actually needs to be guided by a stable parent. No one wants the teacher to criticize him or her. Will he be fixed by the parents when he goes home? How hard is that child? If he is criticized by the teacher for not focusing on his words and poorly written, it means that he must have encountered difficulties. The teacher’s meaning is actually that he hopes that parents can help their children and overcome difficulties together. But when I felt embarrassed because my child was not performing well, I started to compete with him. Isn’t this standing opposite to the child?
After hearing her words, I suddenly realized! Fortunately, I have studied psychology for so many years. I can’t understand such a simple truth.
She continued: We have been in love with my child for many years, and then the teacher knows her child for a few days. Can they have children we understand? How can we hurt our relationship with our children because of an outsider? So, what we need to do is to maintain a united front with the child and defeat difficulties with him, rather than defeating the child with difficulties.
is really enlightening! She was deeply moved by the mother's wisdom and was able to say such concise and philosophical words. I almost forgot about the following chats with
, but I still remember the sentence: Standing with my kids and defeating difficulties, rather than defeating children with difficulties, I have always remembered it fresh.
This should be the best advice I have received after the first grade of the child.
The baby came out of the gym, and my previous haze was wiped out. When I was no longer worried, but decided to help my child, I found that I could view the teacher’s suggestions and feedback more correctly. Of course, after this, the teacher would occasionally remind me that my child would perform, and my mood was not so easily disturbed by the teacher, and the child's progress became more and more obvious. Later, the mother of the child also came to me to chat with me and told me that the child was criticized at school or that he could not study. I would pass on the fourth-grade parent's words to them, and they would also tell me that it was really enlightening! I send you a poem, I hope we can all have the patience to walk with a snail!
