1. What's wrong with me short of money? It's better than if you are careless. 2. When someone tells you that "it's not money, but a matter of principle", it's most likely a matter of money. 3. When we have money, buy two cups of soy milk and drink one cup and pour one cup. 4. The

1. What's wrong with me short of money? It's better than if you are careless.

2. When someone tells you "it's not money, but a matter of principle", it's most likely a matter of money.

3. When we have money, buy two cups of soy milk and drink one cup and pour one cup.

4. The cashier said: I don’t have any change, so I’ll find you two plastic bags!

5. A parrot hung at the door of the pet store. A fat woman passed by and looked at it. The parrot said, “You look so bad.” The woman ignored it and left. The next day, the woman deliberately passed by, and the parrot said, “You look so bad.” The woman went to the shop owner angrily, and the shop owner promised that it would not happen in the future. On the third day, the woman passed by again. The parrot looked at the woman and said, "You know what I want to say!"

6. Go to get a haircut and explain to the boss: "Leave more in front and try to push it clean at the back. Make the hair feel like it is inwardly clamped, cut it out layer by layer, and it is best to make the kind of bloated..."

0 The boss smiled and said, "Don't worry, I understand what hairstyle covers my big face!"

7. My woman, I am a sports student, and I finally had my first boyfriend. One day, he and I walked in the park. He wanted to kiss me, I dodge, and then started playing like a couple on TV. I ran and he chased me. We were all smiling happily. I looked back and said, "Hey? Where is my boyfriend?... Am I running too fast?"

8. Colleagues all over the country, and we discussed boys from all over the country to find partners, brides and so on. The conclusion is that boys nowadays want to marry a wife, as if they have to cross three mountains. How difficult, Sister Li called her freshman while having lunch in the cafeteria: "Son, how are you studying recently? I won't force you to study, um, by the way, are you in love? Mom is open-minded and will never stop you. If you want to have a partner, you will be brought to me. You two will continue to go to school!"

9. My cousin is almost thirty years old and has been forced to get married. Yesterday, she finally brought a beautiful girl home. After sending her back in the afternoon, her uncle and aunt kept forcing her to confess: How much does it cost to rent it!

My cousin said he did not admit that he was renting

Uncle said you go and urinate first!

What are you asking about?

Aunt said: You should go, and take a look after it after you sprinkle. With your virtue, a girl as beautiful as a renter, will you fall in love with you? Are you blind? !

My cousin was very aggrieved: I was careless and didn’t pay attention to my appearance. The money was spent in vain!

10. When I was in junior high school, I liked a girl in my class, but no matter how I pursued her, she was not moved. Until one day, she asked someone to beat me and hid on the playground alone and cried

After seeing this, I bought snacks and spray medicine to comfort her

While wiping her wounds, she accompanied her to eat snacks. No one said anything

Later, she gradually developed a good impression of me and became my girlfriend. Now she is my wife

However... My wife doesn't know at all. In fact, I asked someone to beat her that time!

11. I was beaten and dozed on the road for a while. I usually traveled 30 yuan and was wrapped around 80 yuan by the driver.

I said proudly, "Brother, I'll give you 100, no need to find it!"

The driver looked around and said, "Where is the money? Where did you put it?"

I got off the car and ran away, shouting to the driver, "I told you that I don't need to find it anymore, and you can't find it even if I look for it!"

12. My son was visited by the teacher's home just a few days after school. The head teacher was a newly graduated female college student. She was quite beautiful. I talked to me about some of my son's naughty behavior at school and left.

I was about to beat my son, but he smiled and said, "Dad, how about it? Do I want me to find a way to let her come back in a few days?"

13. The three beauties in the group all said that they were crazy about the road. One said that taking the subway always reversed the direction of the way; the other said that one person dared not enter the supermarket because he could never find the exit;

These two people are indeed a fool, but when the third beauty spoke, they both wanted to give up: because she has not found her way back to her parents' home since she got married...