1. The reason why I am single until now: it is difficult for acquaintances to start, and it is difficult for absurds to speak out. 2. I only regret that I have little money until I use it, and I don’t have enough money to spend until the end of the month. 3. Everyone says I am ug

1. The reason why I am single until now: it is difficult for acquaintances to start, and it is difficult for absurds to speak out.

2. I only regret that I have little money until I use it, and I don’t have enough money to spend until the end of the month.

3. Everyone says I am ugly, but in fact I am just not very beautiful.

4. What the elders said is indeed very classic: "Your generation lives so well, so we can't get anything. We were confused back then, we got married, we should work, and now we have everything." - Think about it, life should be like this.

5. Neighbor’s son, first grade elementary school.

In the morning when he went to school, his mother bought him a large bouquet of flowers and brought them to the school and asked them to give them to the teacher. When he entered the door, he gave them to the most beautiful girl in the class.

6. Yesterday at noon, my brother got drunk, but suddenly remembered that a friend was going to see me in the afternoon, so he rushed to the station to pick him up. But I always feel confused when I am on the road. After receiving the friend, Xixi said to him mysteriously, "Oh no, my drinking too much will affect my vision." He stared at me for a long time and asked weakly: When did your glasses fall off!

7. My wife ran back to her parents' home in anger, and I went to take the thorns and apologize.

When I arrived downstairs of my mother-in-law's house, I thought I would make a call first to be safe. My mother-in-law answered the phone and shouted, "Is it you who bullied me if I marry my daughter to you? She cried in the room for three hours, come and see her!"

I hurriedly said "Yes, yes, yes," and went upstairs to the door. When I heard my wife say in the room, "Mom, stop nagging. He came from home for at least half an hour. After I finished this, I went into the room and lay down, nine strokes!"

8. A new cute girl came to the unit. I couldn't help but feel excited and tried my best to please her. When I thought I was going to succeed, the director ordered me to go to the branch below to experience life. . . How could I be willing? So I spent a lot of money to invite the director to have a big meal. Finally, the director said: You are too polite! Even if we have a good relationship, I can't let you harm my sister-in-law.

9. In the past few years, when I was in love, my mother always said worriedly: Look more, don’t worry, you have to understand the other person, afraid that the other person will hide too deeply! Now when you are in love, your mother always says worriedly: If you are optimistic, take action quickly. After a long time, when the other party understands you, it may become bad again...

10. A young man in his first love held the girl tightly and said, "It's so happy to know you. You are simply the light bulb in my darkness..." The girl pushed the young man and said, "Go, stay away from me." "What are you doing?" The young man couldn't figure his mind. The girl said, "Beware of electric shock."

11. A woman came to the hospital anxiously. "Doctor, let me see! When I woke up this morning, I looked in the mirror and was very scared. My hair stood one by one, my face was full of wrinkles, my face was pale, my eyes were red, and I looked like a dead person. What's wrong with me, doctor?"

Doctor examined the patient carefully and said, "Well, I can tell you with confidence that your vision is not problem at all!"

12. I complained to my mother that my boyfriend didn't understand romance. My mother was anxious. What's this? I remember that when your father went to work in the field, he came back and carried a fertilizer bag and said excitedly, "Wife, guess what did I catch you?"

Mom looked at the wriggling bag, little rabbit? no! kitten? no!

guessed for a long time but no results. My father opened the bag and scared my mother to tears. There were three toads inside. After listening to this, I felt much more balanced...

13. Teacher: Some students are starting to be proud, and everyone still remembers the story of the tortoise and hare racing. Xiao Ming, tell me why the rabbit lost to the turtle?

Xiao Ming: Because it sleeps.

Teacher: That’s right! What should we do to keep the rabbit from sleeping?

Xiao Ming: Change the turtle to a wolf.

14. My boyfriend was about to change his phone, so I asked him what brand of phone he was going to buy? He answered me: The phones are the same, but in the end it was not a washbasin. I: Then what mobile phone do you buy? Just buy a basin!

15. I suddenly felt good, so I started singing, opening the door and windows to ventilate, and tidying up the housework happily.

Aunt Zhang suddenly rushed in nervously: When she entered the door, she scolded my husband. Have you quarreled with her wife again? Then he hugged me and asked, "Where are you uncomfortable? Humph."Oh my God, I can sing and sing like ...