1. When I paid the mobile phone fee, I realized that my words were so valuable. 2. Don’t complain if there is no beef in the beef noodles. Isn’t there no wife in the wife’s cake? 3. Don’t argue with people without qualities, because it’s like falling with a pig. Winning is not gl

1. When I paid the mobile phone fee, I realized that my words were so valuable.

2. Beef noodle don’t complain, don’t you have any beef, Wife Cake also has no wife?

3. Don’t argue with people without qualities, because it’s like falling with a pig. Winning is not glorious, and losing is even more embarrassing.

4. Xiao Ming asked his mother: Mom, what is his girlfriend?

Mom said: When you grow up and become a good man, you may have a girlfriend!

Xiao Ming said: What if I were not a good man?

Mom said: Then you will have many girlfriends! ! !

5. Yesterday I went to eat hot pot. The wall of the hot pot restaurant said, "The sheep are raised by yourself, the vegetables are grown by yourself, and the oil is squeezed by yourself." When I paid the bill, I quietly said: Boss, this money is printed by myself, please feel free to use it! The boss chased me for several streets but couldn't catch up! It's really interesting, my legs are my own! Run wherever you want!

6. Today, a little loli was holding my legs and crying and said: Uncle took me to find my mother. When they got separated, I was surprised. Aren’t you afraid that I would sell you? The little loli said: Mom said that ugly people are kind-hearted...

7. Brother: Big brother, what's wrong with you? Big Brother: Oh, you were beaten up by your sister-in-law. Brother: What's the situation? Big Brother: That day she said she wanted to go for beauty treatment and asked me for one thousand. I was afraid that she would not have enough money, so I gave five thousand. Then... your sister-in-law got angry and said I thought she was ugly...

8. Husband: Daughter-in-law, my socks were broken

Wife: Cutting your nails, it's too long, right?

Husband: Yes, I haven’t cut my nails for a long time. My wife, my underwear has also been broken.

My wife glanced at me squintly and said: That must be a mess.

9. On the bus, a man opposite him called his cell phone and said, "Hey! Mom? Oh, dad! Oh, aunt? Who are you? Oh, it's a girl!" I want to say, brother, what is your listening skills?

10. After dinner from a relative's house, I walked home with my cousin. On the way to

, a motorcycle was driven by, and there were two beauties on it, and they didn't drive very quickly.

Because those two women look good, I keep staring at them.

Unexpectedly, the beauty in the car actually waved at me and greeted me.

When encountering this situation, I don’t have any reason not to respond to it, so I waved at them too. It’s so beautiful. My cousin turned his head and stared at me and said: My classmate, why are you waving?

is so embarrassing...

11. My friend is a liquor salesman. One day, the goddess he had been chasing for a long time said to him: "I have a boyfriend, I'm getting married soon, don't bother me!"

He lowered his head, looking very painful.

Suddenly, his eyes shined again and said excitedly: "You must use my wine when you get married!"

12. Arguing with a woman is like the license agreement before the software is used,

You can or can only ignore all content and choose "I agree" at the end.

13. The classmate drank the night before yesterday. The next morning, classmate Li called and said you were a coincidence. He went home to take a taxi last night. When he asked the driver to know you, he was still a kiss. He talked to him all the way. You said it was a coincidence... After a while, my nephew called: Uncle, you asked me to give you that classmate last night. He insisted on giving me 200 yuan and said that it was a taxi fare. I don’t have to call me...

What do you think this guy is drunk? !

14. In the afternoon, primary school students were having physical education class. The physical education teacher organized the team and sneeze while shouting at attention.

yelled with a sudden idea: "Who is scolding me?"

As a result, a child walked out in fear and said: "Teacher, I'm sorry..."

Poor child, you are so cute...

15. I am playing checkers with my 5-year-old daughter. The phone rang. When I saw the number, it was my friend Lao Hou who called it, so I greeted him, "Hello, Brother Hou!" and started chatting with him enthusiastically.

At this time, my daughter ran over and stared at me with respectful eyes, without saying a word.

After Lao Hou and I finished chatting, I put down the phone and asked my daughter: "What's wrong with you? Why do you see me like this?"

My daughter asked in a low voice: "Dad, how did you meet Sun Wukong ?"