1. A gentleman finished his meal in a restaurant and was about to get up and leave after paying the bill. The waiter standing aside saw that he had no intention of paying a tip, so he hurriedly said: "Sir, a customer who sat at this table yesterday gave me a tip of 60 yuan." Mr.
: "Really? Then you can wait a little longer. Maybe He will come again today. "
2. The diner smiled slightly: "I didn't order the fly when I ordered it!"
Waiter: "Sir, there is no need to pay extra for this."
3. There is a new female colleague in the company, too. She is beautiful, but the girl is a bit cold, and she feels like she is not allowed to enter the company. Today, the boss brought his 5-year-old son to the company. The little guy is also a good person. When he saw the beautiful female colleague, he called her sister, and she kept calling her. The female colleague was not defensive about the child and they quickly started playing together. At noon, the boss was in a good mood and invited us to dinner. We all drank, and the female colleague and the little guy drank milk. The little guy insisted on toasting with his female colleague. After taking a sip, the little guy was a little shaken. The female colleague deliberately teased him: "This is not wine, you are drunk!" The little guy said seriously: "It's your beauty that makes me drunk. Gotta..." The female colleague couldn't stop giggling after hearing this. I suddenly asked: "Who did you listen to?" The little guy pointed to the boss: "Listen to what my dad said!" The female colleague and the boss immediately blushed. Do you think anything is wrong with them?
4. My best friend came to my sister’s house to cry after she was heartbroken. My best friend was very sad and sad. My brother-in-law advised him: “There are many good men, there is nothing to be sad about.” My sister was very dissatisfied with her brother-in-law’s attitude and said, “Back then, you Weren't you just as sad when your first girlfriend dumped you?" My brother-in-law said with a nonchalant expression, "What's there to be sad about? How could I have found such a beautiful wife like you if she didn't dump me? Besides, weren't you also raped by your ex-boyfriend? Are you still sad about being dumped?" My sister said disdainfully, "How can he compare to you? He is as stupid as a pig and he still feels good about himself." After saying that, my sister and her brother-in-law looked at each other and gave each other a high-five. My best friend said angrily at the side: "I'm here to ask for comfort! I'm not here to see you being a bitch!"
5. At a class reunion, I drank to the point of alcohol poisoning. My classmates sent me to the emergency room for infusion . A female classmate I called my girlfriend and she came over in a hurry. Since I had to have infusions at night, I needed someone to accompany me. Of course I was embarrassed to ask my female classmates to accompany me, so I asked them to leave first and wait for my girlfriend to come. My girlfriend came and listened to her classmates explain the situation. She thanked them and sent them out of the hospital one by one. The first thing my girlfriend did when she came back was to hold the nurse's hand and ask enthusiastically: What is the WIFI password of your hospital? We, Xiao Ming, will have to observe for a while and won’t be able to go home for the time being. This "silly bitch" doesn't want to know about my condition, why should she first consider the password for the Internet? Besides, I already asked for the password. Why didn’t she ask me?
6. When I was a sophomore, I fell in love with the art committee member of our class. We were each other’s first love. We went to the cinema to watch a movie together on the weekend. It was past 10pm when the movie ended, and I sent my girlfriend home. Arriving downstairs at her house, my girlfriend said: The corridor is too dark, I dare not go up... After hearing this, I roared, turned on all the corridor lights, and then said to her with a smile: Now Can you go up? I have been single ever since, and every time I think of that moment, I want to slap myself twice!
7. I remember when I was a child, I went to the mountains to play with my cousin during summer vacation. I saw a hornet's nest in the tree. I didn't know how powerful wasps were at that time, so I took the bamboo pole I brought with me and dug it into the nest. Honeycomb As soon as it hit the ground, there was a harsh beep. My cousin and I just hated our parents for having four legs. We ran forward, but we still got stung several times. When I trudged back to the door and knocked on the door, my mother looked at my swollen face like a pig's head and said, "Child, are you here to see my Xiao Ming?" He went out to play and was not at home.
