1. Dad was on the beach with his children. His four-year-old son ran over, took his hand, and led him to the shore. There was a dead seagull on the sand there.
The son asked: "Dad, what happened to it?"
The father replied: "It died and went to heaven."
The son thought for a while and said, "Dad, you see God threw him down again." ”
2. For some reason, my 8-year-old nephew wants to set up a street vendor when he grows up. His mother scolded him: "Don't talk about running a street vendor in the future. It's useless! If anyone asks again, just say you want to study abroad when you grow up, and go to Harvard University!"
Later, someone asked him again: "Little Bao'er, What will you do when you grow up? "Study abroad and go to Harvard University!" The man asked again: "What about coming back from school?" I was able to sleep peacefully, but my mother insisted that I drive her to RT-Mart to buy noodles. When I left the supermarket, I was carrying two bags of noodles. I felt heavier and heavier as I walked, and my pace became slower and slower. My mother said to me: "Look at you, all those Olympic weightlifting competitions were in vain." I said: "That's different, will you give me a gold medal when I take it home?" My mother smiled and said: "Of course, at noon Let’s eat pancakes. I’ll fry them for you.”
4. My sister-in-law had a fight this night because my brother was playing games instead of washing clothes. She was so angry that she sat on the sofa and cried. My mother came over and saw her. I angrily said to my sister-in-law, why is it so useless? Then my mother went over and gave my brother a slap in the mouth. Then I told my sister-in-law not to quarrel with him in the future if I can fight with him. My goth said in frustration, Mom, who is your biological child? My mother, it doesn’t matter who is the biological child, I know you have made me angry since childhood. Now my brother's status at home is not as good as the teddy my mother raised.
5. I haven’t had a salary increase for several years, so I just wanted to find an opportunity to hint to the boss of the company. At noon that day, I met the boss in the elevator, and I said: Alas, the price of meat has gone up again recently, and vegetables are also extremely expensive. Life is hard. The boss looked at me, looking thoughtful. I was secretly happy. It seemed that my words had attracted the boss's attention. In the afternoon, the company issued a notice: In view of the recent increase in meat and vegetable prices, lunch will be changed from two meat and two vegetarian dishes to one meat and one vegetarian meal.
6. I was chatting with a colleague who just got married in the morning, and I asked: Groom, what are the differences before and after marriage? He glared at me fiercely and said leisurely: Before getting married, I came home very late at night and found that the lights at home were still on, and my heart instantly warmed; after getting married, I came home late at night and found that the lights at home were still on. , and his legs suddenly became weak.
7. My wife and I are both teachers, and our professional habits often carry over into our family life. One morning, as our 8-year-old daughter, Maggie, was getting ready for school, I looked in her room to see if it was tidy.
"Is your bed even made up like that?" I asked.
"No, Dad," Maggie replied, "I just made a draft."
